John Mc

New Blog

2011-05-18T17:38:00.002-05:00

I will be back to blogging here, I promise. But, until then, I have started a new project. I will be writing as many fake news stories as I can come up with and releasing them at 9 AM each day. (Kinda like "The Onion.") I already have the first week ready to post.
The first article is up now, and is rather timely. I highly recommend you follow my new blog as well as this one for such stories as "Revelations In Osama's Diary," "What's Up With The Sox?!" and "A Moment Of Terror With Obama!"

Check it out:
http://johnmcjournal.blogspot.com/

Thanks for following both. And please post the stories on my new blog on your Facebook page to gain some popularity. I appreciate it!

-John Mc.

New Venture (Not the store from the 80's)

2011-01-17T16:55:00.002-06:00

I haven't posted on here in a while. As a matter of fact, maybe I will make it one of my New Years Resolutions to post SOMETHING each week. That shouldn't be too hard to do!
I wanted to let you know about my new project:

Click Here

It is a way to explore some elements of my creative side. While experimenting with the strange world of "Vlogging." I have teamed up with a dude named Matt who I met while working at one of the restaurants I have been employed at. He's the one responsible for all the camera tricks.

So, essentially, continue to check on things here (if you still do) and also check out my new YouTube site.

Thanks!
-John Mc.

Thanksgiving

2010-11-24T14:02:00.001-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

John Mc On Stage

2010-03-30T09:38:00.004-05:00

Again, too long since I posted. A few things that I found interesting. Someone posted that they found my B52's post to be too mean. How incredibly lame. To check out that post and their comments, click here.
On with my Second City adventure - I picked up Second City with Level C. I went all the way through with the program without stopping at this point. I had found a class that I had gelled with once again, as I had Level A.
Our Level C instructor was groovy. She was the Sabrina that I mentioned earlier. And to my knowledge, commented on my blog? She helped us see the foundation of what we were doing. And helped us get rid of some whiskey.
Levels D and E were good, but not great. The instructors (who will remain nameless) were decent, but didn't do much other than pick up a paycheck. Our final instructor (For Level E) even said "I'm not going to instruct you. You have made it this far and should already know what you are doing." This is true. After a year of improv, we should know what to do. However, some folks needed direction. Other folks desired direction. He refused to offer either.
Needless to say, it is a shame that our last two classes at Second City seemed like a waste. But, you must take the good with the bad.
What I have done onstage for Second City is a part of an ensemble. Yet, I have compiled the complete work of me on stage into one package. Don't tell anyone, I think it goes against everything that we have been taught there! The following is the complete work of me on stage at Second City, thus far. (The reason for the delay in my posting this is because it has taken me this long to put this together and then have YouTube tell me that it is too long so I needed to re-edit it into 3 separate pieces. Stupid YouTube! Don't you know that you are going to get the same amount, if not more content if you don't accept my long-form videos?!)

Making Stuff Up Part One

2010-01-21T00:19:00.003-06:00

It has been too long since I've posted. I'm sorry about that. I promised a good friend on Sunday that I would post again this week, so here I am. (I hope The Big D is kind to you!)
I have had much occur in the past year or so that has gone undocumented.
First and foremost, I tried my hand at improv. It is something that I had been meaning to do for a long time and finally decided to go for it. The way it went down was rather ambitious on my part, if I do say so myself.
A good friend of mine agreed to do the improv training course at Second City with me a while ago. We kept on missing the open registration for classes. Each time one of us thought about it, we would check Second City's website and then realize that we had missed the sign up by a few days and the new session had begun. Unfortunately this went on for a good half a year or so.
Finally, I was able to find the enrollment period. I told my friend that we should both sign up. She, being a teacher, told me of her long days and questioned whether or not she would have the time to dedicate to the program.
So, I put it off again until summer of 2008. I told her again of the sign-up period. She told me of her summer tutoring that she was involved in and wanted to wait until next time. I decided that this was my time. This was when I was going to give it a shot.
So, I went for it. I had NO idea what I was getting into, but figured it would be worth the adventure. I was right. It all started in a small L-Shaped room in the back of the training center. It was me and 9 other aspiring improvisers.
Our teacher was a great man by the name of Brian Possen. If you ever have the opportunity to check out his show "Cupid Has A Heart On" at The iO Theater in Chicago, I highly recommend it! He was the perfect person to start us off on our journey. While Level A was rather frustrating, he made it fun. There was a great deal of "Wax On, Wax Off" kind of work in the class. It was pretty apparent what we were learning and the reason why, but we were all anxious to put our newly found skills to work.
Possen also told us on the first day of class that the schedule may say the class ends at 9:30, but that's not the case. After class we were told to go across the street to have a pint with our classmates and discuss what we had learned. Then, pay the tab and head back to Second City to see the free improv that they have at 10:00. Then, back to the pub to compare notes and see where what we learned was used in the show.
It was a brilliant suggestion that paid off greatly. Not only did it reinforce what we had learned in class, but it encouraged us to grow closer as a group of newly budding improvisers!
The way Second City's training center works is that there are 5 levels - A through E. With each level, your skills are supposed to build upon the previous level and expand from there. It is a rather well devised system.
Due to financial concerns, I stopped after Level A. This was a hard thing to do, but I had just moved to a new apartment and was strapped for cash. It would be two semesters before I got back into the improv world. Since then, those that stuck with my original class had continued on while I sat on the sidelines. I even went to one of their shows. While it was awesome to see the same people that I had played with in class on stage, it hurt a little bit knowing that I could have been up there with them, had I had the opportunity to do so.
I got back on the horse and started up the classes again. One more semester of Level B and then I needed to stop. Once again, money was the main concern. Plus I had just added another course at the college and I had to focus on writing and teaching that course. The timing was just bad. This time, though, I only took off one semester and decided that I would ride out the rest of the levels in order. Level C started the summer of 2009 for me and I went straight through to Level E.
While there will always be some degree of regret that I never got to join the stage with my original class and some of the great performers like the great Liz Grossman, (Her blog "Elizabites" is available on the right of this page.) I feel that there was a reason that I got to work with the class that I did.
At the end of Level C, you get to do roughly a 15 minute show. Level D gave you a 30 minute show and the grand finale' was Level E with a show for nearly an hour.
Over the course of the next few days, I will let you in on a few of the behind-the-scenes moments of these shows, the preparation and some stories about the improv prep that we did as a class and the instructors that we had.
What you will see in the video below is my first time on stage. This was right after my Level C class. It is this group of people that I stuck with throughout the remainder of my Second City Training Center experience.
You'll note that some are good, some are not-so-good. But, the way the training center works is that if your check clears, then you are free to continue. There is no bearing on skill level to determine your progress through the program. Plus, keep in mind, this is the first time that many of us were ever on stage! We were all a bit nervous.
The "Announcer" or "Host" is our instructor Sabrina Harper. She was great. She really understood how to notice our weaknesses and correct them before they became habits. She also was great at praising our strengths and encouraging those to come to the surface. Harper was passionate without being overbearing. Essentially, she let us know that playtime was over and we were about to learn the real ins and outs of being true improvisers. All-in-all, she embodied exactly what we needed at that time.

Without any further ado, here is the first time that I was ever on stage:

Week 2 Picks

2009-09-20T11:44:00.002-05:00

MIN over DET
TEN over TX
ATL over CAR
NO over PHI (First upset of the week)
JAX over ARI
OAK over KC (The first - who cares game - of the season!)
GB over CIN (It's a shame, but true.)
NYJ over NE (Upset number two.)
WASH over STL
TB over BUF
SEA over SF (Upset three!)
BAL over SD
DEN over CLE
CHI over PIT (PLEASE?! Although, PIT is 9-1 at Chicago in their past 10 meetings)
DAL over NYG (OOOH! A good NFL primetime game? Who knew they could do it?! This should be a good one tonight.)
IND over MIA (I spoke too soon.)

Week One!

2009-09-13T10:17:00.003-05:00

It has been WAY too long. So much has happened to tell you about. Plus I just did another weird-ass wedding last night. All this and more in the next few days.
Until then, it is that time of year again - Football Season!
Here are my picks for the first week:

PIT over TEN
DAL over TB
NO over DET
JAX over IND (Upset one)
HOU over NYJ
MIN over CLE (MIN is going to be rough this year. But, not as bad as GB.)
DEN over CIN (Upset two!)
PHI over CAR
BAL over KC
ATL over MIA
SEA over STL
NYG over WASH
ARI over SF
CHI over GB (Shouldn't be an upset, but it is!)
NE over BUF
SD over OAK

SD and OAK as a Monday night game?! How lame. The NFL is starting to disappoint early on this year.
Have a great football season!

First Climate Change Prediction That Came True!

2009-07-16T10:58:00.004-05:00

Recently our out-of-control government has suggested something that I predicted almost two years ago to the date. (Kind of scary, right?)
First, the Democrats have spent a great deal of time talking about how awful America is and how we are responsible for "climate change." It is due to our awful use of carbon that we are solely responsible for this extreme disruption in the Earth's climate. When in reality, this couldn't be further from the truth.
What this will allow, however is for the left to make some money off the paranoia of the ignorant. Carbon credits go into the pockets of the Democrats that sold you the Snake Oil in the first place. This scare will also allow them to control the industry of the greatest nation in the world. If you don't play ball, you must pay us in their new "Cap And Tax" scheme. (Click here for their propaganda. And click here for an accurate opinion of it.)
Like I said, two years ago I predicted this. I have never re-posted anything before, but I think that this is important enough to be said twice considering today's environment of increasing spending and ignorance. Here is the original article that I published on this very blog on 07-09-07:

This weekend on 7-7-7, Al Gore and friends put on some big concerts with big name acts. They did this to raise awareness of Global Warming and Greenhouse Gases. It all seemed very legit and concerning. After all was said and done, they probably all patted themselves on the back for a job well done.
What they failed to tell the general population was that Global Warming is a bunch of crap. The Chicago Sun Times (of all papers) printed an article yesterday that points out many of the falsehoods of Al Gore's stance on this issue. It offers many direct correlations to the claims that he has made in his (Oscar-winning) movie and why they are false. To read the article, I encourage you to click here.
First, Gore and friends make a big deal out of Carbon Dioxide (CO2) emissions. However, these are not that big of a deal. Over the last 100 years, the level of CO2 has increased by 25 percent. While the greenhouse effect has increased around one percent. Since the beginning of the industrial age, CO2 went from 280 parts per million (ppm) to 365 ppm. (Prehistoric CO2 levels changed 100 million years ago they weren't 365 ppm, but instead 3,000-5,000 ppm. Plant and animal life was VERY abundant.) The main increase of CO2 occurred before 1940. Humans put seven billion tons of CO2 into the atmosphere each year. Nature does 200 billion tons in a year. Since then the increase in cars and global industry should have created a larger increase in the atmosphere's CO2. Instead, the results are not there. Where could it have gone? Several experts are suggesting that it is absorbed by plants for photosynthesis and the oceans. Dutch greenhouses, for example, routinely and deliberately triple their CO2 levels and crops respond with 20 to 40 percent yield increases. More than a thousand experiments with 475 crop plant varieties in 29 separate countries show that doubling the world's carbon dioxide would raise crop yields 52 percent. A raise in CO2 may be extremely beneficial for the global environment.
If there is a greenhouse effect, the main contributor would be water vapor. You do more damage to the environment boiling some hot dogs than you do driving your car.
Some feel that global warming may be a good thing. Between 900 ad and 1300 ad, the earth warmed by 4-7 degrees Fahrenheit. (We have increased global temperature roughly .5 degrees Celsius) This is almost exactly what the "computer models" are predicting for the 21st century. Written and oral history tells us that the warming created one of the most favorable periods in human history. Crops were plentiful, death rates diminished and trade and industry expanded while art and architecture flourished.
Food production soured because winters were milder and growing seasons were longer. There were less floods and droughts. Human death rates declined, partly because of the decrees in hunger and partly because people spent less time in damp, smoke-filled hovels that encourage the growth and spread of tuberculosis and other infectious diseases.
Thus, we can cast aside the forecast that global warming will bring more drought and expanding deserts. Modest warming would help crops, not hinder them. There is virtually no place on Earth too hot or humid to grow rice, cassava, sweet potatoes or plantains.
Another thing that most people don't seem to piece together is that THE EARTH GOES THROUGH CYCLES. Everything has a cycle, the rotation of the earth, its revolution, the moon, EVERYTHING. We have had ice ages in the past. We've had incredible heat in the past. 150,000 years ago the earth was extremely warm. (MUCH more than what Gore and others are predicting for the next 100 years.) There we saw the greatest boom in plant and animal life.
Climate modelers and the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) predict that one of the consequences of global warming will be rising sea levels due to thermal expansion of ocean water mass and the melting of non-polar glaciers. They claim that the oceans already have risen 18 cm during the 20th century with an annual rate of 1.8 mm per year. They feel that the oceans will rise approximately a further 50 cm during the 21st century, an accelerated annual rate of 5 mm per year.
Sea levels have been rising at varying rates since before the end of the last ice age 11,000 years ago. Long before any man made global warming is claimed to have begun. Sea level rise over short periods is EXTREMELY difficult to determine, but it is believed that the rate of sea level rise has not increased over the past century when man made global warming is claimed to have occurred. If it has, it's rise is not of major proportion.
So, CO2 is no big deal. Global warming may actually be a good thing. The earth is going through a climate cycle and we have nothing to do with it. There is no solid evidence of the sea levels changing drastically.
So what? It is apparent that global warming is a bunch of crap. But, what difference does that make to us? It will very soon if scared politicians have their way.
The rhetoric spewed out from the liberal media and through the global efforts or Gore and friends has caused unnecessary panic. Thus, we hear about "carbon footprints" and how websites will take donations to plant trees to off-set your damage to the environment.
What do the politicians have in store for us? It will cost us all. Barack Obama is planning on having industry reduce it's greenhouse emissions. Sounds great, right? This over-haul of industry will create greater price for product and eventually trickle down to the average consumer. (Read more about Obama's environmental stance here.)
Hillary is a little more vague on the issue, but her website does say: "Hillary recognizes that global climate change is one of the most pressing moral issues of our time. She supports policies to reduce carbon emissions and other pollution that contribute to global warming." (Read more here.) She has a video on there that I am unable to listen to because I don't have speakers, but I'm imaging that it is great.
New Jersey's state legislature on Friday mandated that New Jersey reduce greenhouse gases by 16 percent by 2020 and 80 percent by 2050. The governor of NJ was quoted as saying "We want to send a message to Washington. Wake up, get with the program and start doing something about greenhouse gases," Corzine told reporters at Giants Stadium on the eve of former Vice President Al Gore's international Live Earth concerts." This according to an article that was released today. Soon business will leave that state. We will see the economic effects of this choice very shortly as well. (Read the article here.)
The republicans are falling for this too. The Bush administration is expected to have some environmental bills passed before President George W. Bush leaves office in 2009.
This may soon escalate into an increase on taxes on energy to prevent us from using it so much. You will be paying MORE for gas and electricity. You will be essentially FINED because of all the fear that is being unnecessarily stirred up in Washington.
So, let your congressman (or congresswoman) know that Al Gore is full of crap and you don't want to have to put up with his BS any more. You do not wish any more legislation on greenhouse gases or global warming. While it is important to respect the earth, it is irresponsible to go as far as the environmentalists are taking this. The only exhaust and emissions to be concerned about come from their mouths.

Research done from the following articles: (These articles were also quoted, for more information on where and how much, please contact the author of this blog)

"Air Pollution Does Not Cause Global Warming" - by Jocelyn Tomkin
"The New American: Another Side To Global Warming" - by Dennis Behreandt
"The Effects Of Global Warming Will Be Beneficial" - by Dennis T. Avery
"Claims That Sea Levels Are Rising Are Unproven" - by John L. Daly

That was the article from two years ago. Am I 100% correct? I doubt it. No one should ever say they are 100% correct on a theory. If they do, then their credibility is in doubt. Am I closer to the truth than most people? Of course.
With this being said, I am open to comments on the topic. Let me know your thoughts and we will compare notes. This goes for whether you see things my way or the other way. Either way, we need to wake up and do something about the exploitation of the ignorance of the common American before it is too late.

30

2009-07-13T20:29:00.003-05:00

In a little more than a month, I will be 30. It seems like it is such a milestone. I know that I'm supposed to be frightened of it, but I'm not. I hear that a great deal of soul-searching goes along with the date. I know that a guy from work turned 30 a few months ago and it was a very sad occasion. He said that he wasn't where he wanted to be in life. He was living paycheck to paycheck working at a job that he didn't like. He was qualified to do more in life, but wasn't doing it. He was single and living with a friend.
It sounds a lot like what I may be doing. I'm working a job (several) that I don't like in order to pay my bills and get by. I don't have a wife and kids, instead I have a friend who shares a two-bedroom apartment with me.
But, what if that is where I'm supposed to be right now? Who knows? What if what I'm supposed to do in the future hinders on where I am today? Who am I to say what God has in store for me?
I will not be down. I will rejoice that I have made it 30 years on this planet with only a few broken bones and with a great deal of remarkable friendships and great joy from my family and accomplishments. I have a college degree. I am doing things that I want to do in addition to things that I need to do. I feel I have a healthy balance on the two.
While I'm not living the most comfortable of lives, I am living one that I'm comfortable with.
For my 30th I almost arranged a trip up to Toronto for their "BeerFest" next month. When I factored in the cost of air fare, hotel and the daily passes, it would run about $1000. Plus, I would need to get my passport renewed. When I really thought about it, very few of my friends would be able to drop $1000 just to join me on my 30th.
So, I scrapped that idea.
Instead I'm thinking of a two pronged attack. One being to travel down to Effingham to visit my friends down there. While there going on the Official Effingham Bar Crawl with some of the "city folk" from up here that are willing to take the trek down. Also, we could check out the Effingham County Fair with it's country acts, rodeo and truck pulls. (I would REALLY dig doing that!)
Then do something up here like a suite at the White Sox and then drinks locally with those who couldn't make it out.
At least, that's the plan for now. Should anyone have any thoughts, let me know.

My Own TextsFromLastNight

2009-06-19T20:41:00.011-05:00

One of my new obsessions is a site that I have discussed before known as http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/. If you haven't checked it out by now, I sincerely suggest you do so.
While you are there, you will notice that there is a way to submit your own on the right. I have attempted to do this with several of the texts that I have sent to or received from friends. Instead, they have gone unnoticed (except for one) from the screeners of the site. So, after coping with my rejection, I decided to post them here. No names have been used to protect the far-from-innocent.

A) I'm HUNGRY!
B) There's an ap for that

A) You are in Detroit in a Hawks Jersey as the Wings are about to lose? You're insane. You are going to be killed!
B) Redwings fans are p_ _sies so I'll be fine.
A) I just read that Detroit has guns now.
B) S_ _ T GUNS?!?!?!?! F_ _ kin Obama
(Time passes and the game ends)
A) PIT WINS! PIT WINS! Now is the time for you to RUN!
B) Noit yeyt
A) RUN! RUN! RUN!
B) Everyone is going home oh no dontr fo yerty thye party is judty started
A) You are going to die.
B) I just askrd this goirl if I could see her red wing.
A) And...?
B) still waiting!
A) Tell her you know The John Mc. and that he has even been to your house.
(Time passes)
A) Did it work?
B) She has a tongue ring!
A) Keep me updated.
(More time passes.)
A) Well?
B) Hammered and alone in hotel room

From my co-worker in the bathroom at the restaurant: A) Take 30's order, im puking lol
(30 is a reference to table 30 in the restaurant. My favorite part of that one is the "lol" at the end of it. He claims that it was genuine. This despite the fact that he didn't get out of the bathroom for roughly 2-3 hours after that text and I had to cover his entire section.)

A) iat fridays now drinking since 5 I'm such a lush.
(This was sent at 7:21 that day. She had been drinking since 2, not 5. She drank until 2 AM that night. She got kicked out of the restaurant that we all work at right after she struck up a conversation with our boss as if she had no idea who the boss was. It was a bad scene.)

For this next one, you need to know that was have $4 drink specials on Sundays as a part of a "Stimulus Package" at work. We make fun of them often.

A) FO DAHLAHZ!
B) Lol STIMULUS!
A) Stimulify dat echonamy, biznitch!
B) Lmfao. Thats our new motto
A) The video is now up online.
(That's the video you see above.)
B) From last night?
A) No. The one from your screen test during your interview at _______ (The name of the restaurant where we work)
B) Oh thank god. My screen test i cried and i think i peed a little lol
A) It happens to the best of us. Just not me.
B) Lol it will
A) Are you now able to tell the future like Paul Mooney?!
B) Negrodamus
A) I was going to let you say it because I can't. You know, being white and all.
B) I know.

A) _______ has found a girl who just told him that she has a stripper pole in her bedroom. He is making good progress, but could still use your prayers.
B) Done.
A) _______ appreciates your support.

A) How's the new job?
B) I hate it.no floor plan,you check out w an atm machine,its disgusting,no one will pick up a shift unless u pay them,we got a drag queen and another server stabbed a guy on the greenline.
A) Sounds lovely.

A) What was her dad doing on CBS Morning news with her? Did you see that?
B) I think her dad is border line retarded

A) You never know when Ghosts will be following you around. Constantly take pictures and look for those orbs.
B) Omg I f'ing hate u

A) Trivia tonight?
B) Fo Sho
A) Ok. We'll be there.
B) Thanks for the warning.
A) Maybe we won't be going, then!
B) Sounds like someone needs to switch out their tampon.
A) You're an ass.
B) Sounds like someone can't take a joke.
A) Not funny. jus wait till later haha
B) Because you can't think of anything to say now?
A) Haha ya

A) I?m in sioux city. CALL ME my phone will not be in service much longer.

A) Get out here. You are a lazy-ass bastard!
B) No just one hungover bastard. I fell in a bush last night and was blackout hammered at the wedding reception.
A) You went to a wedding reception after your adventure in Detroit?
B) Yeah open bar with my buddy Mr. Beam. In addition to letting every Wing fan that it was awesomethey lost. Oh and flirted with a few.
B) But told her I don't bang ugly girls.

A) Dude hammered thinking of old females...... then wanna break shit mode. Luckily no civilians around to die.

A) You commin' out to $1 drink night?
B) As tempting as that is I will have to decline. I've been neglecting the couch. By the way I might be high but I think the girls in front of me art talking 3 way

A) This is perfect fishing weather.
B) Big time
A) We should go sometime.
B) Right now?
A) No. Soon.
B) Soon.

There ya have it. Those are some of the more recent gems. I may have done the one about the dad on TV before, but I liked it so much I posted it again. Before you ask, I didn't go to Detroit and yes, the last one was a continuation (if you will) of one from two nights prior.
If you have some good ones, post them as comments on here.

Good-Bye, Old Friend

2009-06-15T20:09:00.005-05:00

This is it.
I must say good-bye to an old friend.
I am selling my Chrysler LeBaron convertible.
This car has taken me to Effingham and back. (Every weekend for the better part of three years!) It has been featured in Effingham's Sesquicentennial Celebration (The town's 150th birthday). The convertible aspect as allowed me to show many ladies the stars over the years.
Yet, unfortunately I must now give the car away to a good home.
Here is the link to the Craig's List ad that I have put up. I wanted to let the loyal readers (both of you) of this blog to have the opportunity to own such an important piece of history.

Click here for all of the details.

I need to sell it fast and am asking for your help. If you or someone you know is looking for a car, please have them check it out. I am making appointments all the time!

Thanks! (And, yes. That's an actual photo of the car!)

Serving Rant

2009-06-13T14:25:00.006-05:00

I am not a fan of waiting tables. Not at all.
Why do I do it? I certainly don't do it for the money, the prestige or the birthday songs. I do it because I enjoy the people that I work with. (Even the ones dating an accused murderer, sometimes.)
At the restaurant, they encourage us to call each customer "guest." I'm guessing it is because some focus group somewhere found the term "guest" was warmer and more personable than "customer" and they thought that the restaurant would get more repeat business if we approached each customer with this mindset. I, however, won't be doing this today. Mainly because the a-holes that I will be disgusing in this rant would NEVER be welcome in my home.
In every job, there are things that tick me off. The main thing about waiting tables is tips. Now, I have lucked out. I have been working in the service industry for over three years (two separate restaurants) and have only been stiffed roughly 6-7 times. However, this doesn't include the awful tips that sometimes get left.
Let me explain to you why tips are so very important. Obviously, the more money you tip, the more money goes to the server. That is an equation that everyone can figure out. However, what most people don't understand is that the server is working for LESS THAN Minimum wage. That's right. LESS THAN! Most servers make roughly $4 an hour. Why is this legal? It is because the government assumes that the server is not an idiot and can make up the remainder of the minimum wage from the tables they help. Plus the government assumes that the kindness of strangers will pay your rent. It usually does. What also happens is that at the end of the night, we have to tip out 3% of our total sales. 1% goes to the bussers who clean the tables. 1% goes to the bartenders who make the drinks. (This is 1% of everything, not just liquor sales, which I think is B.S. because what the hell does the bartender have to do with the chicken fingers that I served?!) and the final 1% goes to the hosts. Why we tip them out is beyond me, they are mostly morons who are too dumb to be able to handle a mindless job like waiting tables. Most of the time they can't even count to get the seating plan correct. But, that is a whole different rant.
Let me show you how easy it is to figure out your tip. If you can multiply by two, you can figure this out. You take the total of your bill and ignore everything after the decimal. If your bill is $15, then you double that. You get $30. Thus, your tip should be $3. If your bill is $55, double that. Your tip should be.... $11. See how easy that is?
Yet there are some people that have issues with that. OR you have the idiots that carry that tip card around with them so that they can figure it out to the penny. Don't worry about change - EVER. All it does is accumulate on my dresser. (Unless you want to toss me some quarters. I'm cool with quarters because I have laundry to do.)
There are other people that leave $5. NO MATTER WHAT THEIR BILL IS - $5. On a $20 bill, $5 is appreciated. On a $50 bill, it is frowned upon. On a $100 bill - you are getting your licence plate written down and I will come find you at your job and get your cheep-ass fired so you have no income to go out to restaurants ever again. Enjoy your Ramon noodles, bitch.
Right now, in order to bring in more customers, my restaurant is offering "buy one entree, get one entree free" coupons. Really? You have to be kidding me. This does bring in more customers, but it hurts our tips greatly. Let me explain.
Let us say that you and your friend have each ordered $20 meals. Your bill (if we keep this simple and take out appetizers, drinks and tax) would be $40. With the coupon, you would only have $20 left. You should still tip me on the $40. Give me AT LEAST the $8 that is due to me. I did 100% of my job. Just because you paid 50% doesn't mean you should tip me 50%. PLUS I have to tip out on the whole amount. Remember that 3% I mentioned earlier? That is on th $40 not on the $20. So, my tip is even LOWER thanks to these dumbass coupons.

Being a server makes you a racist. It does. I won't go into it, but what I will say is that the racist thoughts are shared with all servers irregardless of the race of the server. Everyone knows it, yet they can't discuss it at work or they risk being fired.
It sucks, I know. I treat all my tables the same, because on occasion you will find someone who wishes to live above the stereotype. Unfortunately, they are few and far between.
Tables that ask if there are "free refills" you know are not going to tip you well. If right off the bat you are proving that you are a cheep-ass, then we know that you are going to give only 10% or less on your bill.
If you run my ass off, I know that I'm not going to get a good tip from you. Logic would say that the inverse is true. Not so. If I drop off the food and one of the people at the table asks for a side of ranch, I smile (like I care) and run to the back to pester the cooks for the side of ranch that you should have asked for when you originally placed your order. The cooks are running around making meals for the entire restaurant. Most people don't realize that this could take a moment for them to stop what they are doing so they can put a bit of ranch in a cup for the customer that lacks fore-sight.
Should I return to your table with your precious dollop of ranch and another member of your table also asks for a side they neglected to order, not only am I pissed now because I have to go all the way back to the kitchen, ask for everyone to stop what they are doing once again and then bring it back to the woman who shouldn't be asking for more dressing ANYWAY, but I know that I'm not going to get tipped on this table.
Why? My theory is this. They don't get it. They don't see us handing multiple tables at the same time. Refills for this table, ordering for this table, check drop off at this table, sides for this one. Constant running. These people who run you don't see that they are not the only ones in the restaurant. I did not drive a half hour to work just to wait on you. (And if I did, I would expect your tip to AT LEAST cover my gas consumption on this hour-long round-trip!) I came in to work today to make money from every table that I am asked to help.

One other group of people that aggravate the F___ out of me is the indecisive. If you haven't made up your mind - FINE! When I ask "Are we ready to go?" Don't say yes and then say "I haven't really decided what I want." What part of my question was confusing? It is one thing if you are between two items and are asking for my opinion. (What I like is when I recommend option A over B and they look at the menu, thank me then pick option B. What was that? That some stupid power trip mind screw that you just pulled? If you don't want to use my opinion, then why the hell did you ask me in the first place?!) I get it. If you are close, then fine. But when you say that you are ready and you are not, you are wasting my time. More importantly you are wasting the time of all the other tables that I'm supposed to be helping. Out of the corner of my eye I see the 8 year-old at the table next you polish off his 12th Dr. Pepper that I could be refilling. I see the old people in the other direction finish looking at the desert menu with their selection in mind. I see the table behind me getting sat with a family of 5 with a high chair. All the while YOU CAN'T MAKE UP YOUR MIND! Release me. Let me take care of the other tables and I will be back to you in 3 minutes or less. By then you should have been able to make it through the entire menu several times. (Well, if you got help with the big words like "cheeseburger.")
At this point, I usually say something like "I can come back to you in a moment or two when you are ready." I have learned to not wait for a response. Because the indecisive are sure about one thing at this moment - they will "be ready in just a second." NO. NO YOU WON'T! I have been down this road before. The old people are getting impatient and want their cheesecake. The family behind me are looking for their server and are about to complain to management that no one has helped me and that little brat is banging his empty cup on the table in search of more Dr. Pepper!
What is just as bad are the cell phone users or the mumblers. I put these people in the same category because they are both capable of communication, but are not willing to do so. If I come up to your table and you are on the cell phone, what I used to do is patiently wait until you tell whoever is on the other line to hold while you make your order. Now I look at your eyes and then walk away. You know that I was there to help you out, but you are on the phone. I then don't come back up until you are off the phone. At the very core of what you are doing, it is rude and I won't tolerate it.
I also don't understand the mothers that come in with their kids and the kids have to occupy themselves with the crayons and placentas while mom is on the phone. Going out to eat should be a bonding experience for families. You shouldn't be talking about who did who over the weekend in front of your 3 year old anyway, you poor excuse for a parent. Put down the damn phone and talk to your kid before he grows up to be a thief because you didn't talk to him enough. I also have had it with the mumblers. If you place your order and I can't hear you, what I used to do was lean in and say "I'm sorry, what was that?" and really work with you. Now I lean back and say "I can't hear you."
"Oh, yeah, I want a cheeseburger."
"That comes with lettuce, pickle, onion and tomato."
"Aw, nofremblkake."
"What was that? I couldn't catch that."
"No pickles."
(I then start messing with you.)
"So that's lettuce, onion and tomato."
"Uh, slfcowhcqie."
"You are going to have to speak up."
"Uh, yeah."
"Any soup or salad to start?"
"Um, slehiwergonewasdoifweoihoigh4htaohgoihweoithhtew."
"Was there a number 4 in there? I didn't get any of that. Please repeat it." (at this point, usually the others at the table are just as aggravated with the mumbler as I am.)
"No."
"Great. I'm going to get that started."

After serving for as long as I have, you begin to notice personality types. I can (usually) within 30 seconds of talking to a table tell you what kind of tippers they are. Now, this doesn't mean that they won't always tip. Let me explain. Some people are just nice people. They are easy to get along with and are out to a restaurant for a change of pace. They are out to enjoy themselves with their families. This is the ideal situation. Very little effort is necessary here. Joke around a bit with mom and dad, call the kids sir and ma'am and you have it in the bag.
Then you have the people who have had a stressful day and are not in the best of moods. This can go either way. This is what separates the good servers from the bad servers. You can either make their day worse or better. It is up to how things go and you pray that the kitchen or the idiots that run your food don't mess anything up. Because, should the slightest mistake occur, all your hard work goes down the drain. However, these tables bring the greatest reward if you can turn their day around.
Then you have the sadistic bastards that come in that are at a restaurant NOT to have a good time with their families, but (I believe) because there is a place where they can order someone around. Perhaps something happened to them in their childhood or they have a boss that really brow-beats them. Whatever it is, it isn't my fault. Don't think that you can take it out on me. If you dish it, I will smile my biggest sarcastic smile and ask "Is there anything else I can do for you?" You won't be able to rattle me. If you have come in to piss me off, I will turn the tables and have you feeling worse when you leave. These people will pay for their piss-poor attitudes once Jesus calls them over on judgement day.
"Why am I not going to heaven?" They will ask wondering what they did wrong.
Jesus will reply "You were a jerk-face to that server. That is what pushed you over the end. If it wasn't for that, you'd be in. You will now spend an eternity fetching ranch from a kitchen that is too far."
I see this as part sociology experiment. I am a good judge of character and have become better thanks to this job. For example, I have recently been wondering why is it that the bigger the customer the smaller the tip? I really don't get this. I have a theory on this expressed by the following video:

What I like is when our dumb-ass hosts try to seat these people in the booths. Look, when you are halved by the table, perhaps you should start walking more. Oh, and SIT AT A DAMN TABLE!!!
Now, with all this being said, a healthy majority of customers are great people. They come in to have a good time and a good experience and don't want to make things hard on the server or anyone else. They make the job worthwhile. It is unfortunate that there are several ignorant a-holes that ruin it for everyone else.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get ready for work.

The 2009 Waste Of An Award Show Awards

2009-06-10T14:14:00.005-05:00

I decided that I would watch the 2009 MTV Movie Awards this year. I saw that Andy Samberg was hosting and have found him to be one of the funniest current members of SNL. So, surely this would be a good show.
I set the DVR to record it and caught the show a few days later when I had some free time.
The opening act reminded me of Billy Chrystal's Oscar openings where he would put himself in the movies that were nominated. Only this time, we didn't have to endure Billy Chrystal and his huge over-inflated ego. (Harry Met Sally YEARS ago! Get over it! You shouldn't have even been cast in that.)
Anyway, the show began by nominating the best supporting actress award. I'm not too sure who else was in this category, but the chick from Slumdog Millionaire should have taken this one home. Alas, she didn't. Who won instead?
Some dumbass from "High School Musical 3."
I was puzzled. How could this be?!
The next award went to best fight scene. One of the fight scenes up for consideration was the battle between Batman and The Joker. This should win HANDS-DOWN!
WTF?!
Two pansy-asses from "Twilight" won. If it weren't for CGI, these two would have probably just slapped each other around quite a bit!
I shut off the TV after that. I deleted the program and blocked MTV from my channel listings I was so pissed. MTV is owned by CBS, the same station that was responsible for broadcasting Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction. They got hit with some hefty fines from the FCC and last I checked still had to pay some of them after several lawsuits.
The FCC must have taken a night off otherwise the fines would have been greater had they seen the disgusting nature of this audio and visual assault on an unsuspecting American public. It bordered on terrorism.
That is until I recently talked to my manager at the restaurant, G. G told me that there was a special rendition of the best of Andy's digital shorts. I was intrigued and kind of wished that I had fast-forwarded the program to that instead of completely deleting it.
It was today that I found this clip and had to share it with you.
(However, when it comes to the rest of the program, it, MTV, CBS and all other affiliates can piss off.)

New Music - More Music Videos

Three Short Videos

2009-06-09T10:19:00.003-05:00

As kind of a palate cleanser from all the usual garbage on the internet, I found these videos:

This is a twist on the "Dramatic Chipmunk" that we have all seen

I am still trying to figure out why I like this one so very much

This one is just weird for the sake of being weird

Judge Sotomayor

2009-06-04T23:12:00.003-05:00

Sonia Sotomayor has been selected by Obama as a potential new addition to the United States Supreme court. Good choice? Well, she has experience in the field. She was a Princeton history student and politically active even back then. All seems good.
That is until you read her yearbook from back then. A nice quote from Norman Thomas was on there. He was quoted as saying "The American people will never knowingly adopt Socialism. But under the name of 'liberalism' they will adopt every fragment of the Socialist program, until one day America will be a Socialist nation, without knowing how it happened." He ran for president six times on the Socialist Party ticket. Being a history buff and politically active at the time she quoted him on her yearbook page, surely she knew of his Socialist leanings and it appears, she agrees with them. (Much like Obama)
Her experience is great too. In Connecticut, she threw out test results of an entrance exam for firefighters saying that it was racially biased because whites outscored minorities. A counter suit was filed. The article I found said: "The lead plaintiff in this case is dyslexic," said Shapiro, referring to Frank Ricci, a white firefighter who says he spent $1,000 on study aids for the exam.
Those study aides included someone to read the material to him so that he could memorize them despite his dyslexia. He also quit his job so he could study full time. He passed the test. Unfortunately, he was white.
Racist? Some may say that she was only being fair. Others point to her comments on race. In a 2001 speech she said: "I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male."
Don't let anyone call this "reverse-racism." It isn't a white thing. Sotomayor has proven this.
She has also gone on to say that she looks forward to changing a great deal of laws. Maybe it has changed since I went to school, but I was taught that the judicial branch was supposed to "interpret the laws" not make them. Perhaps Obama changed the constitution when we weren't looking.
Wise choice with this one, Obama. Wise choice.
Let's just hope that the right thing is done for America and that this woman is kept far away from our laws.

Not All Are Celebrities - Get Them Out Of Here!

2009-06-04T20:34:00.006-05:00

I just finished watching this week of "I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here" on NBC. I am so very aggravated and my frustration comes primarily from Spencer and Heidi Pratt. I have heard of "The Hills," and after watching these two losers, I'm so glad that I have been able to avoid it.
Their irreverent behavior is fine for two spoiled brats. I expected them to act this way. I could have told you before the show that these two would be complete a-holes. Spencer saying that he was a bigger celebrity than the rest of the people they were stranded with was laughable and expected from someone with an IQ that rivals that of Paris Hilton. Their cause is not helped at all by the fact that his hair-conscious wife is not any brighter than him.
What aggravated me is that they had to bring Jesus into the mix. Heidi bothers The Lord with every little thing. "Lord, help me get through the jungle to our site." "Jesus, be with us to protect us from bugs." "Lord Jesus, help me with my split ends from this jungle humidity."
Someone needs to gag that girl. While she would pray, Spencer would be occupying himself by showing the others what an ass he was.
The two left and came back so many times that I thought they even rivaled Drew Peterson's fiance.
The first thing that ticked me off was that they asked Patti Blagojevich what happened with her husband. She rattled off the same B.S. that Rod had been shoveling on the New York talk shows about how he wanted great things for Illinois and the special interest groups did not. They are just a bunch of jerkfaces. When in reality the biggest accomplishment that Blago ever did for our state was put his name on all of the highways!
It was then that brain-dead Heidi did something that really got me upset. She held hands with Patti and asked Spencer to join them. They then prayed that "the truth" would be found. Little did they know, the truth was found - on the recorded phone calls. What they should have prayed for was that Patti didn't drop an F-Bomb during their live sessions.
Did it end there? Nope. Spencer then asked Steven "I'm not an ordained minister, but I play on on reality shows" Baldwin to baptise him.
Perfect.

I'm all for Jesus to be in the mainstream. However, it is idiots like these two that give Him a bad name.

NBC just ran an article quoting an NBC executive that says:

NBC Exec: Spencer & Heidi Pratt 'Are Everything That's Wrong With America'

I couldn't agree more!

I just wonder if I want Spencer, Heidi and Patti to have to suffer more and stay and potentially win or if I want them gone. Even local radio jack-ass Mancow has weighed in on Patti and wants her off on his site. I only hope water boarding is the next food challenge.

Provisions

2009-06-02T14:23:00.004-05:00

Yesterday I went to the store to get some milk. Each time I do this, I end up getting more than I went in for. However, yesterday marked a very important annual purchase - the Summer's BBQ Sauce supply.

This year, I'm trying my friend's recommendation - "Budweiser BBQ Sauce." (I got regular and Beechwood) I tried some at his place and was impressed, despite the fact that it was awful Budweiser. Perhaps it is actually good for something other than a headache the day after you drink it.

I am also trying a brand I have never tried before known as "Culinary Circle." They make an "All Natural Red Cream Ale Barbeque Sauce." I purchased this and brought it home and then realized that not only is my fridge stocked with beer, but so is my BBQ Sauce. I don't think I have a drinking problem, just a diversification problem.

I also picked up a marinade from "Culinary Circle." It is their Roasted Garlic Peppercorn Marinade and Cooking Sauce. I have high expectations for it.

Don't let me down, CC! So, when I have you over for BBQ this summer, you know what you are getting into. Now all I need is something better than a Foreman!

550!

2009-06-02T14:18:00.004-05:00

Thome hits his 550th Home Run last night! I got to see it! (Not live, but on TV, but still!) Get the HR counter out! We are on our way to 600!
Here's a bit more on it:

Floyd was among those who grinded it out on Monday. He did not receive credit for a decision in seven innings, but he kept the White Sox in the game long enough for another hero to emerge.
That hero was 19-year veteran Jim Thome, who mashed a tie-breaking, three-run home run in the bottom of the eighth inning to push the White Sox ahead, 5-2.
The 389-foot homer to left-center field off A's reliever Santiago Casilla gave Thome nine on the season, 550 for his career and propelled the White Sox to their fourth straight victory.

To see the whole article and video, click here.
To keep up on White Sox Milestones, click here.

Pause

2009-05-20T11:33:00.005-05:00

In light of new developments, it can be easy to forget what is important. A great deal of excitement, relief and joy was felt by majority of the nation when Drew put on his "new bling." A swarm of attention, once again, fell on the Chicagoland suburbs. Talk shows booked up. News sites had new stories and videos each hour. The developments were fascinating and consuming.
However, I encourage us all to pause from the bright lights for just a bit. Take a moment to pray for the families of those effected. Pray for the children who have been innocent victims of all of this for years. Perhaps even one for Drew and Joe that they see the light and come clean with what they know. One for Chrissy who STILL doesn't understand what she is involved with and needs professional help.
But, most of all, for the families of those effected by this.

Text Messaging

2009-05-04T17:08:00.002-05:00

I just found the funniest site ever! A friend of mine, Amy, mentioned it in her facebook status and I had to check it out.
It is a collection of drunk texts.
That's it.
Hysterical and simple. What a great combination. You can submit your own and comment on other people's. The only identifying aspect to the texts is the area code that they came from. Some are funny, others just drunk texting. Here are some of my favorites so far:

(719): wanna go halves on a baby?

(312): I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk

(803): I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you

(312): awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
(708): Did someone propose they get off the stage?

(512): I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
(519): If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.

And my all time favorite:

(214): dude. I'm so drunk.
(972): pete, this is bryce's mom
(214): I can't wait to have my ______ in your ___
(972): pete, this is still bryce's mom

(I had to edit that last one. Contact me for the missing words. Both words are animals. Let's just say that it would work for Bryce or his mom.)

Do you have a funny text? Post it as a comment. Check out the website by clicking here.

Oh, one of my favorites that I have received actually comes from Chrissy's ex-boyfriend Mike when discussing her father on the CBS morning show. He wrote:

(630): I think her dad is border line retarded

DJ Thoughts

2009-05-02T00:02:00.003-05:00

I hate DJing. I hate it.
As I drive to the warehouse to pick up the equipment I question why I have been doing this for a dozen years. I load up the equipment knowing that I'm meant for more than this pathetic physical labor. Why do I have an assistant if I'm doing all the heavy lifting?!
I then drive to the job with a disgust in my mouth. I'm too old for this. I am not keeping up on the new music. I don't want to do this. There is so much more going on tonight. The game is on. The party is about to begin. The gathering of friends that I rarely see will soon be assembling.
Yet, I'm on the road. I'm setting up the equipment. I'm starting boring-ass cocktail music during dinner.
I am not happy.
That is, until I press play for real. That is when the world changes. That is when I feel the pressure of the song ending before I know what to play next. This is before I encounter the stress of entertaining a crowd of people that I have never met, and that I will never meet again, for hours on end.
To find the perfect song to regain the trust that I lost earlier in the night. Or, better yet, to maintain the flow and growth of a memorable time for everyone involved. To create a set list. To know what I'm going to play five songs out - what a great sense of calm. To have a game plan. To have a logical AND emotional flow to the evening. Hoping that no one interrupts it with a stupid request.
I pray for the events that are filled with nothing but great requests. Songs that I know already work. Give me the "Brown Eyed Girls." Tell me of the "Y.M.C.A." Even sneak in the best song to get everyone out on the dancefloor - "Footloose" by Kenny Loggins. (Why does this work? I don't know. Loggins must be a musical genius.) Then mix in a sprinkling of "Oh, my God! I haven't heard this song in FOREVER!" as I play Bel Biv Divo's "Poison." Yeah, that's right. That girl is poison!
A good evening ends with me coated in sweat. Your guests have their arms around each other shouting out lyrics to a song they have heard a hundred times already. They form a positive emotional bond to it that they now associate with you. I have a full set list of songs that I wish that I could have played.
I want to hear "Man, you're the best I've ever seen." Or at least a "We had a great time tonight." without being prompted as we wrap up our cords and pack away our lights.
Then toss me that tip. Please don't make it $20 or a blank "thank you" card. That tells me that you know that you are supposed to tip, but are cheap. Give me one worthy of my time. 20% in the service industry is standard!
Let me know that you are glad that majority of your very special day (The day that you dreamed about since you were a little girl, the day that you planned for months or years, the day that assembled everyone important in your life) that was controlled by me, was worth while. That people celebrated. That they came together and rejoiced as one.
I did that. I pieced it together. I psychologically created a utopia of joy centered around you through the use of music. I labored. I stressed. I persevered over silence to fill the void with great immeasurable happiness.
I won. This is why I still DJ.
See you next Saturday.

What? Where? Why?

2009-04-21T22:09:00.002-05:00

I find it interesting to see where people come from when they visit my blog. (You can see for yourself on the right side of the blog. Click the link in the bottom of that list. It will give you even more information.) Some people come from other blogs, some from e-mails that have been sent to them from friends and most through google image searches on "9-11" or "cute girl." Yeah, apparently I have the picture of the cutest girl on my blog in the post "The Ten Commandments" where I discuss the 10 things that I'm looking for in a woman. Go figure.
However, recently I have noticed several people arriving here because they have searched "Blogger John Mc." Anyone know why this is? Is there something that I'm missing? Is there a popular blog somewhere that shares a name similar to this?
As I noted in my 400th post, (I know, it was an important post and I wasted it with that. I will make it up to you with a big, important post soon as I usually do for such milestone posts!) if you were to google "John Mc" this blog would be one of the first things to come up. If John McCain hadn't run for president, it may very well have been the first. (See, his name and mine are the same for the first six letters. Get it?)
Surely that is just because "John Mc" is not a very sought after search like "Used car" or "Italian restaurant" or "Boobs."
Well, if you are new to this blog, welcome. Please tell me how you heard about it. Even if it was by accent. And please don't use the "anonymous" option. At least give us your first name! I did. And you can find it on google.

Craig's List

2009-04-21T19:31:00.004-05:00

I have recently been on Craig's List more than I want to be.
I'm trying to sell my 1993 Chrysler Le Baron to no avail. The landlord wants the space for new tenants and I need to sell it before it gets towed. (If you or someone you know wants it, let me know ASAP!)
While I was on Craig's List I decided to sell some other stuff that I have around here. I have a satellite radio, an HD radio and vacuum. While I was posting all of these, I also noticed that they had a "Free" section of Craig's List.
This is for people that just want rid of their junk. Usually they post "must come pick" up because they don't want to be bothered one more minute with it.
Most of it is understandable. Furniture that isn't being used anymore, firewood, etc.
But, there is some really bizarre stuff that I have found. So, I decided that I would share it with you.

This is just sad:
http://chicago.craigslist.org/nwc/zip/1128720082.html

Note the location:
http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/zip/1128804320.html

Remember the 80's? He recorded them for you:
http://chicago.craigslist.org/sox/zip/1129974075.html

Brand new? I'm there!
http://chicago.craigslist.org/wcl/zip/1130561285.html

Sound but no picture? Isn't that called a radio?:
http://chicago.craigslist.org/nwc/zip/1131087325.html

Dinner?
http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/zip/1132418317.html

Dinner for your infant?
http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/zip/1130595645.html

Will trade for gravel or sand:
http://chicago.craigslist.org/sox/zip/1129275813.html

And my favorite:
http://chicago.craigslist.org/wcl/zip/1131258033.html

Let me know what you find!

WGN News

2009-04-14T19:07:00.001-05:00

What do the news anchors do during the commercial breaks? Get their make-up adjusted? Work on their non-regional diction? Drink some scotch?

Nope.

They do this:

Facebook vs. MySpace

2009-04-14T15:32:00.003-05:00

I never thought I would ever leave my MySpace. It was great. You could keep up with friends, you could post topics and best of all, you could have songs and images on your page to really make it your own. You could even post videos.
However, I have now moved over to Facebook. I originally thought that it was just for the high school/college crowd, but that is no longer the case. There are so many people my age and older that are on there. Plus I am linked with more people than I ever have been on MySpace.
I must admit, I'm hooked. The only thing that I don't like is all the stupid applications. I think I have over 100 that I haven't looked at yet.
Other than that, I'm liking it. You can find me on there by looking for "John Mc." If I'm not mistaken, my main picture is the same as the one on this blog. Find me now!
I also am addicted to the status updates. It is because of this that I'm scared to venture over to Twitter!

Google Me!

2009-04-13T20:38:00.002-05:00

If you Google "John Mc," this blog is one of the first things to pop up. However, how many people are typing that into their search engines?!

The Drew Peterson Battle

2009-04-13T19:48:00.005-05:00

Ah, Drew Peterson. Yup, his name is still being tossed around my restaurant more than... salad dressing? I guess I should have thought that analogy through before I started that sentence. I will keep the details brief, but here is the basic story.

If you haven't heard yet, my co-worker is the on-again, off-again fiance' of the (alleged) murderer. She has moved into and out of his house so many times that I've lost track... and interest.
Drew has become somewhat of a local celebrity on the radio waves. TV has given up on him, so they have resorted to being on WLS's Mancow and Casedy weekdays from 9am-11am. For some reason, Mancow is a fan of Drew's and even let Drew pull an April Fools day prank on everyone bye saying that he had something to confess - that he likes chicken wings. Way to really hold the memory of your former wives in the highest regard.
One thing that has been left out of the spotlight is that his fiance' (Chrissy) left her boyfriend for Drew. Chrissy's ex is Mike and he ALSO works with us at the restaurant. Mike has tried to stay out of this circus until he was given an offer that he couldn't refuse - a chance to beat the hell out of Drew. Mike asked me to attend his interview with Q101, but I declined. I don't really want to be involved with all of this. However, he did get a great deal of media coaching from me. I also encouraged him to give a portion of the proceeds to whatever he does to the families of those effected. That's something that Drew (to my knowledge) has never done. As a matter of fact, I wonder why he hasn't gone on any of the searches?!
While I wasn't with Mike for this interview, I may be with him for the next one that he does which may be Mancow. That one will be a little rough. He will be attacked from multiple angles. I will for sure be with Mike when he enters the ring.
When you listen to the interviews below, none of it has been staged. All Mike did was tell Chrissy to listen at a specific time and he knew that the info would get back to Drew. Soon video of the interview will be available on their website.

Click on the links below for the two parts of the interview:

Part 1 Part 2

Drew was also found removing the memorials put up for his ex-wife. (Loving tribute, right? Sounds very remorseful.) He and his son snuck out in the middle of the night to remove the ribbons set up by their neighbors. Great guy, huh?
This was right around the time that his step-brother was granted immunity for his story about his involvement with the blue barrel removal. According to Chrissy when that story broke, things were not as peachy in the Peterson household as they had been in the past. As a matter of fact, she talked about how much she hated having people there 24/7 going over possible scenarios with Drew.
What probably hurt his feelings a great deal was when two weeks ago she declined to go on a vacation to Vegas with him. This was when she was going to (allegedly) tie the knot with him. I wonder what gave her cold feet?
Although, the marriage wouldn't be legal. Drew still needs to get a divorce from Stacy. In order for that to happen, he would have to be found innocent of any wrong-doing in her disappearance. That is a wish not likely to be granted any time soon.
And now with Chrissy gone, he will no longer have anyone to become the guardian of his kids and they will have to go back to the family of Stacey when Drew gets tossed in his orange jump-suit.

There is so much more to tell you, but I will leave that for another time. Maybe I should start from the beginning next time. Clear your calendars for the end of June. That is when this is supposed to go down.

Drew News

Why Chi? Because It's The Best City In The World!

2009-04-13T19:42:00.002-05:00

My sister found this. I dig it and thought you would like it as well.

Why Chi? Answers are blowing in wind

By Scoop Jackson
ESPN.com

Many people across America will ask, "Why Chi?"

Why did Chicago get the first ESPN local site to itself? They will ask what makes us so special. What makes us think we are so special? Why did ESPN choose the Windy City? They will find fault.

Cool.


	Why Chicago? Well, we did have the greatest basketball player ever ...

As a city, we don't have a problem with any of that. Most of us will accept it because we are so used to it. Try living here and you'll understand. If you are born and raised (and gonna die) here, you more than understand ... you embrace it. We are -- in our minds -- the most slept-on, overlooked, underappreciated sports city in the world.

In our minds, this site, one dedicated to all of Chicagoland sports at every level, is long overdue. Because when it comes to the games we all play, watch and love, no one -- and I repeat no one -- on any corner of any block in any city any place in the world got swagger like us.

These reasons only further our proof:

Because we turned the saying "Good Guys Wear Black" into a rally cry.

Because our Cubs blue is truer blue than Yankees or Dodger blue.

Because the words "upscale" and "sports" don't mix here.

Because when it comes to sports, we die harder than Bruce Willis.

Because we have a Claes Oldenburg-designed steel sculpture of a 100-foot baseball bat on the corner of Madison and Jefferson in the middle of the city for no damn reason!

Because Michael, Scottie and Phil got us six rings.

Because our players only cry after winning.

Because only here can you have two sides of town that hate each other because of their beloved teams while they will never ever be a threat to one another in winning a World Series.

Because we will put this city up against any city in the world when it comes to diversity, knowledge and passion for sports. There isn't a city that exists that holds our desire for sports on an everyday basis.

Because we're about to host the Olympics in 2016.

Because Jackie Robinson is a league to us, not just an icon.

Because only here could a car dealership (Chicagoland Chevrolet Dealership Association) get Michael Jordan and Muhammad Ali together for an ad.

Because of Walter Payton.

Because we just won the Jay Cutler sweepstakes.

Because no other place can handle the annual pain that comes along with loving the Cubs.

Because when the Blackhawks eventually win the Stanley Cup, we will -- in all of our belligerent arrogance -- have the gall to say to anyone who is listening, "We told you so!"


	... and the greatest NFL team of all time ...

Because we have Ozzie and they don't.

Because we were the originators of "March Madness."

Because we were too stupid to trademark the phrase and too forgiving to sue someone -- anyone! -- for copyright infringement.

Because as far as we're concerned, there is still no team in the history of the NFL that could beat the '85 Bears.

Because we play with 16-inch Clinchers (TM).

Because we drink Old Style and Olde English at games.

Because we hoop on ice, golf in snow, row on frozen ponds, play beach volleyball on hard sand, do marathons on North Face and play soccer on grass that won't bend.

Because what Green Bay calls a "tundra," we simply call "a football field."

Because "strikeout" is much harder than "stick ball."

Because we validate the existence of a sports jinx.

Because Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews are the next Crosby and Malkin, and ESPN wants to get an early jump on covering them.

Because the women at Wrigley Field look better (and can drink more) than women who go to baseball games in any other city in the country.

Because our "W" doesn't stand for a hotel chain or a former president.

Because we consider pitching pennies a sport.


	... and we'll keep showing up at those rooftop seats until the Cubs finally win it all.

Because win, lose, draw and lose again, we rep our teams like Drew Rosenhaus reps his clients.

Because the greatest sports documentary of all time ("Hoop Dreams") and arguably the greatest sports film ("Brian's Song") were about what we are all about.

Because we use our brown paper bags for sneaking booze into stadiums, and we don't use them to show we're embarrassed of the team we came to see.

Because we (not Denver) made "Rock and Roll, Part 2" famous.

Because we nurtured a Rose from concrete.

Because at least 81 times a year, we "take you out to the ballgame."

Because we'd rather build a spaceship inside of our football stadium than do what the Yankees did to theirs.

Because on any given day, at any given sporting event in the city, Oprah or Obama could be sitting next to you.

Because of what Devin Hester is about to do this season.

Because no one gives the term "ride or die" more meaning when it comes to sports teams than us.

Because of the overtly obvious reasons not even worth mentioning.

Because we got Mike Ditka, fool.

Bad Coupon

2009-03-22T16:12:00.002-05:00

It has been a long time since I've blogged. I apologize to my loyal readers... both of you. More posts will occur this week, I promise. Until then, enjoy the Peter Griffen vs. The Chicken fights!

Paul Harvey 1918-2009

2009-03-02T20:14:00.005-06:00

This weekend was a sad one. A radio legend, Paul Harvey passed away. If you have never had the opportunity to hear Paul Harvey or if you don't know who he is, here is what WGN had to say about him and some examples of what he did.

Paul Harvey Dies

Legendary Broadcaster Passes away at 90

February 28, 2009

(WGN-AM) - ABC Radio Network says broadcasting pioneer Paul Harvey has died at the age of 90.

(Chicago Tribune file image)

ABC spokesman Louis Adams says Harvey died Saturday at his winter home in Phoenix, Ariz., surrounded by family.

No cause of death was immediately available. In a statement, ABC Radio Networks President Jim Robinson calls Harvey "one of the most gifted and beloved broadcasters in our nation's history."

In regard to the passing of legendary broadcaster Paul Harvey, WGN Radio Vice President/General Manager Tom Langmyer released the following statement: "America has lost an important icon. Paul Harvey was one of the greatest broadcasters of all time.

He wove stories of life together in a way that will never be matched. He provided inspiration to countless journalists and broadcasters and touched millions by connecting in a way that was not only informative, but also creative and unique. Paul and the love of his life, Angel, are now together. We were lucky to have had him in our lives."

Harvey was a news commentator and talk-radio pioneer whose staccato style made him one of the nation's most familiar voices.

He was forced off the air in 2001 because a virus weakened a vocal cord. But he returned to

(Chicago Tribune file image)

work in Chicago and was still active as he passed his 90th birthday. His death comes less than a year after that of his wife and producer Lynne.

"My father and mother created from thin air what one day became radio and television news," said Paul Harvey Jr. in a statement. "So in the past year, an industry has lost its godparents and today millions have lost a friend."

Known for his resonant voice and trademark delivery of "The Rest of the Story," Harvey had been heard nationally since 1951, when he began his "News and Comment" for ABC Radio Networks. He became a heartland icon, delivering news and commentary with a distinctive Midwestern flavor.

"Stand by for news!" he told his listeners. He was credited with inventing or popularizing terms such as "skyjacker" and "Reaganomics." "Paul Harvey was one of the most gifted and beloved broadcasters in our nation's history," ABC Radio Networks President Jim Robinson said in a statement. "We will miss our dear friend tremendously and are grateful for the many years we were so fortunate to have known him."

In 2005, Harvey was one of 14 notables chosen as recipients of the presidential Medal of Freedom. He also was an inductee in the Radio Hall of Fame, as was Lynne.

Former President George W. Bush remembered Harvey as a "friendly and familiar voice in the lives of millions of Americans." "His commentary entertained, enlightened, and informed," Bush said in a statement. "Laura and I are pleased to have known this fine man, and our thoughts and prayers are with his family."

Receiving the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 2005

(Chicago Tribune file image)

Harvey composed his twice-daily news commentaries for ABC from a downtown Chicago office near Lake Michigan. He spent winters in Phoenix.

Rising at 3:30 each morning, he ate a bowl of oatmeal, then combed the news wires and spoke with editors across the country in search of succinct tales of American life for his program. At the peak of his career, Harvey reached more than 24 million listeners on more than 1,200 radio stations and charged $30,000 to give a speech.

His syndicated column was carried by 300 newspapers. His fans identified with his plainspoken political commentary, but critics called him an out-of-touch conservative. He was an early supporter of the late Sen. Joseph McCarthy and a longtime backer of the Vietnam War.

Perhaps Harvey's most famous broadcast came in 1970, when he abandoned that stance, announcing his opposition to President Nixon's expansion of the war and urging him to get out completely. "Mr. President, I love you ... but you're wrong," Harvey said, shocking his faithful listeners and drawing a barrage of letters and phone calls, including one from the White House.

In 1976, Harvey began broadcasting his anecdotal descriptions of the lives of famous people. "The Rest of the Story" started chronologically, with the person's identity revealed at the end. The stories were an attempt to capture "the heartbeats behind the headlines." Much of the research and writing was done by his son, Paul Jr.

Harvey also blended news with advertising, a line he said he crossed only for products he trusted. In 2000, at age 82, Harvey signed a new 10-year contract with ABC Radio networks. Harvey was born Paul Harvey Aurandt in Tulsa, Okla.

His father, a police officer, was killed when he was a toddler. A high school teacher took note of his distinctive voice and launched him on a broadcast career. While working at St. Louis radio station KXOK, he met Washington University graduate student Lynne Cooper.

He proposed on their first date (she said "no") and always called her "Angel." They were married in 1940 and had a son, Paul Jr. They worked closely together on his shows, and he often credited his success to her influence. She was inducted into the Radio Hall of Fame in 1997, seven years after her husband was. She died in May 2008.

People are D-U-M!

2009-02-19T23:00:00.005-06:00

People are dumb. I have to deal with them on a daily basis. (You probably do to, but this blog is about me.) I have trouble keeping a straight face while dealing with them sometimes. These are three examples from this week alone.
Today I worked at the restaurant. I asked a guy if he would care for something to drink.
"Just a water." He replied.
"Ok. Bottle or tap?" I asked. I always hope for bottle on the off-chance that I can actually make some money on the deal. Majority of the people just say "tap." Not this guy.
"Huh? No. I'll just have a glass."
Gotcha.
Another lady on Tuesday ordered the Chicken Strip Dinner. It is when someone orders the chicken strips that I ask them if they would like a dipping sauce. Because 90% of the time... well, more like 9 out of 10 times, they say "Honey Mustard." Thus my response to her order was "Would you like honey mustard with that?"
She looked up from her menu and said "Yeah, but only on the side."
Glad she mentioned that. I was going to drown her entire plate in the crap had she not.
But, this one takes the cake. On the same day only an hour later a woman ordered the salmon. I came to check up on the table. Both ladies said that their meal was good. Upon a follow-up check when they appeared to be nearing the end of their meal I asked if they would care for desert. They both declined. But, the woman who ordered the salmon had a comment on her dish that she wished to share with me.
"I don't know who you need to tell, but I have to tell you about this salmon." She informed me.
"Was everything alright?" I asked as I looked at her plate to see if she was one of those people that complain only AFTER they finish everything. Instead she only ate about 85% of her meal. Still more than the maximum for me to give a crap about her opinion.
"You should know that it tasted a little 'fishy.'"
I looked back at her. I caught her eyes and searched for any degree of her messing with me. For surely she was joking. She didn't seem to be, so my mind raced as to what the hell she was talking about. This woman had no expression on her face. Not even anger or disgust, which you would expect from someone not happy with their meal. "Is this a bad thing?" I asked her.
She looked at me as if I had asked her what 2+2 was. "Yes." She said in an extremely condescending tone.
"Let me see what I can do about that." I said. This is my knee-jerk response to anyone bitching about something. It is rare that it happens, but when it does, you want to say something that shows that you will try to right the wrong without promising anything. That is exactly what this phrase does for me.
I went to the manager on duty. I have no problem going to any manager with any customer issue because I know that after the amount of my life that I have wasted there, I am pretty much safe from any criticism that a customer may toss my way.
"Hey, Jim?" (His name isn't Jim, but I changed it for his protection. He's alright.)
"Yeah, what's up?"
"There's a lady at table 10 that wasn't happy with her meal."
"(Expletive deleted) What's the issue?"
"She said that her salmon was a bit..." I could barely finish the sentence it was so ridiculous. "Her salmon was a bit on the fishy side." "What?"
"Yup."
"You have GOT to be kidding me. It's SALMON! It's FISH! What's it supposed to taste like? A (expletive deleted) burger?! I'll go talk to the (expletive deleted)!"
He straightened his tie and went around the corner to the front of the restaurant to ask the woman what was wrong. He even knelt by the table. (They must be trained in manager school that this is a good way to "get on the same level" with the customer. But, we all know this is when any manager is giving the customer a load of [expletive deleted] and we don't have anything to worry about.)
He came back to the computers where I was prepared to comp her meal. "Do we have to comp it?" I asked.
"No, she's fine." He responded and went back to his little office in the back of the restaurant.
I shrugged, printed their bill and thanked them for coming in. They tipped me very well. I then told every server of the weirdos that I had encountered and we had a laugh at their stupidity.

Effingham In The National News... Nearly 4 Years Ago

2009-02-19T19:31:00.004-06:00

I couldn't believe it when I heard it, but back in September of 2005, Jon Stewart of "The Daily Show" mentioned "Effingham," the town I was working in, durring his program. I had to watch the show twice to be sure I heard it correctly. Not only did he mention "Effingham" he also brought up two smaller towns around it! (Needless to say this audio was placed in many drops for my show on the radio station at the time.) For the first time ever, I have found it online and can share it with you. Here is something that you probably don't care about, Jon Stewart says the name of the town that I spent nearly three years in. Enjoy. (P.S. Don't worry about watching the whole thing. Only the sentance at 1:04 matters.)

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Headlines - March of the Peaceniks

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things With Demetri Martin

Funny Political News
Joke of the Day

Don't Even Think About It!

2009-02-18T20:00:00.004-06:00

I have a roommate named Dan. For those who have met Dan, you know that he is pretty even-tempered. It takes a great deal to get him to show much of any emotion. For the first few months I knew him while living at Rick's home, majority of our conversations were reduced to primal grunts.
Dan would come home and I would say "Hey. How are ya?"
He would respond. "Hey." or "Hm."
And I was ok with this. Depending on his tone or whether or not he used words, we could decipher what his response truly meant.
Since I moved to an apartment and Dan joined me a few months later, our conversations have increased. But, for the most part, Dan has remained rather quiet and keeps to himself. A "Hey, man." Or perhaps "Take care" when I leave the apartment is what has developed.
Things changed one night about a month ago.
Dan and I are both big Hamburger Helper enthusiasts. I have even branched out to the store brands in some cases. Monday nights were my night to create this culinary treat and on this particular occasion, I had selected the Cheesy Italian Shells dinner. I'm not one for cheese, but I trust the Hamburger Helper to never guide me down the incorrect path. While Dan passed the table, I casually mentioned "This may be better with some warmed up marinara."
It was then that Dan stopped in his tracks and pivoted to face me. "NO!" He cautioned. "Don't you ever, EVER adjust the Hamburger Helper recipe. The Hamburger Helper people have brought us their meals for generations and they know what they are doing."
I was taken aback slightly. "Ok. I won't-"
"Don't even think about it. The biggest mistake one can make is thinking that they can improve upon decades of intense research and countless study groups. These people know what they are doing and shouldn't be messed with!"
You would think that I was talking about over-throwing the government or something!
"I once made the same mistake that you are talking about. My meal was ruined. All effort was lost. You enjoy your Hamburger Helper the way that it was meant to be enjoyed - by using the directions that you find on the box."
It was that night that I made a binding vow to Dan, Hamburger Helper and the rest of the world to never again adjust or consider adjusting the recipe for Hamburger Helper.
Just don't tell him that I will on occasion add a bit more milk and spice up the meat. I am concerned with what he may do if he knew.

Pope and Pelosi

2009-02-18T11:25:00.003-06:00

Recently House Speaker Nancy Pelosi met with Pope Benedict XVI. (Click here for the article.) They discussed many things, but the one thing that Pope Benedict XVI stressed was that Catholics, as politicians, should work toward outlawing abortion. He even went on to say that should they support abortion, they should abstain from receiving holy communion. Here is the press releases from each of their camps:

Pope Benedict XVI:

"His Holiness took the opportunity to speak of the requirements of the natural moral law and the Church's consistent teaching on the dignity of human life from conception to natural death which enjoin all Catholics, and especially legislators, jurists and those responsible for the common good of society, to work in cooperation with all men and women of good will in creating a just system of laws capable of protecting human life at all stages of its development."

Pelosi:

“It is with great joy that my husband, Paul, and I met with his Holiness, Pope Benedict XVI today.
“In our conversation, I had the opportunity to praise the Church's leadership in fighting poverty, hunger, and global warming, as well as the Holy Father's dedication to religious freedom and his upcoming trip and message to Israel.
“I was proud to show his Holiness a photograph of my family's Papal visit in the 1950s, as well as a recent picture of our children and grandchildren.”

For some reason I don't think Pelosi got the message.

Adventures

2009-02-15T19:50:00.003-06:00

For the past three weekends, I have gone on three separate adventures. These will be composed this week as well as a special warning about Hamburger Helper.
Until then, here is a great video about The Office that my sister found for me. If you are a fan of The Office, then you will enjoy it. If you are not a fan of The Office, then you won't. But, you really should be by now!

Talk to you soon and comment often.

Then And Now!

2009-02-13T16:59:00.004-06:00

The story when she left Drew:

The story now:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

She apparently didn't learn. We are at a loss as to what we can do about this. Pray that she isn't killed before she can escape from this madman!

V-Day = L-A-M-E!

2009-02-13T10:41:00.005-06:00

Valentine's Day is for losers. It is L-A-M-E! Don't agree with me? Check out what Marc Rudov has to say:

See? It is all about the woman! Guys, think of the last great Valentine's Day gift you got her. Now try to match that greatness with anything that she got you. Any comparison? I didn't think so.
Not that it is about gifts. It is a forced holiday. Romance should be spontaneous. It shouldn't be a specific day of the year. Yet, we feel compelled to exchange gifts with our loved ones on this day because we are told to.
What a crock.
April 15th is tax day. We are forced to pay from the government. February 14th is Valentine's Day. We are forced to pay by Halmark. It is ridiculous!
If you want to take your lady out to a very romantic dinner but don't want to break the bank, I have a solution for you:

The Circus

2009-02-11T18:43:00.005-06:00

This was last week:

This was yesterday:

Dating Drew

What's next for the media circus's favorite clown
By STEVE RHODES
Updated 8:34 AM CST, Wed, Feb 11, 2009

The engagement is back on!

Christina Raines, the 23-year-old on-again, off-again fiancee of person-of-interest in multiple murders Drew Peterson, has moved back in to her lover's Bolingbrook home. And they've already taped on appearance on the Today show to tell the whole world about it.

We asked our Drew Peterson Desk to speculate on the next developments we can expect to see in this scintillating story.

- Drew Peterson's fiancee moves back out

- Drew Peterson gets a new fiancee

- Drew Peterson gets a reality show called Be My Fiancee

- Sun-Times announces new Bolingbrook edition with a companion Web site called DrewsBlock.com

- Tribune announces Drew Peterson to-go edition

- Drew Peterson impersonates cop, takes a shift on Chicago's Southwest Side

- Geraldo Rivera stages prime-time special opening of Drew Peterson's vault

- In embarrassment to Obama administration, Drew Peterson awarded stimulus funds

- Drew Peterson joins Viva Viagra band

- Drew Peterson's fiancees go missing

This is today:

WLSAM.com

And this due to her money-hungry d-bag dad:

WBBM780.com

What element of the circus is coming up next? (Watch "Today" tomorrow.) To be honest, I'm sick of these clowns!

B52 Press Confrence

2009-02-06T09:54:00.008-06:00

The press were assembled yesterday for a very landmark press conference held by the B52's. After years of guilt silently piling up, they issued a very long sought after apology to the people of the world. For over 20 years, the people of Earth have been subjected to the painful "Rock Lobster." Not only is it excruciating, but it is 23 minutes long while lacking ANY noticeable beneficial content.

Many felt that this song was prepared by the CIA as a unruly mob manipulation device for the general public. However, it was finally confirmed that the song was just a really bad decision made by the group. It was almost not released until a sadistic member of the record label secretly put the song on the album and made sure that it was released as a single.

Kate Pierson broke down in front of the cameras as Cindy Wilson pleaded for an acceptance of the group's apology. "We didn't know what we were doing at the time. We were unaware of the power that we were wielding" Wilson claimed. The other members of the band, Keith Strickland and Fred Schneider held their heads low as Wilson spoke for the group.

Soon Schneider looked right into the camera with mascara running down his face and just mouthed "We're sorry" over and over again.

Pierson then told stories of sleepless nights and weeping in the dark alone. She said that none of them knew what they were doing at the time. Had they been aware of the devastation that they were creating, they never would have assembled the most repulsive assault on the ears that had ever been created.

Strickland remained silent until the end of the press conference. It was then that he looked up from his hands to say "Please, if you can find it in your hearts, your forgiveness... Your mercy... Please know that we say this from the bottom of our hearts." The rest of what he said was lost in his tears.

The media hounded them for follow up questions, but they denied to answer. It was apparently a very moving experience for them. It was a release of many upon many years of personal anguish. Once this anguish reached the levels of those subjected to the music, they felt compelled to apologize for the attack on the world.

One bystander, who wished to not be identified, was asked "Mr. James Getrowski, what does this mean, in your opinion, to the general public?"

"The healing process has finally begun... Finally begun." James Getrowski then wiped away a tear, dropped the microphone and ran away down the street while keeping his arms very still.

No word on an apology for "Love Shack" yet.

My Co-Worker

2009-02-03T00:52:00.004-06:00

I will write more about this post when I have the time and can process all of this.
But, I thought that I should share this with you.
Christina's (Chrissy's) father is NOT helping. We all know what a douche this guy is. Why prove it to the world. AND take Johnny Cash's name down with him?! (He has a tattoo of Cash on his fore-arm if that's any indication of who we are dealing with!)
The CNN interview has been pre-taped. The CBS one hasn't been.
To me, these don't look like interviews, but instead commercials for book deals. However, I think her father's will be a coloring book.

If they don't show up, here are the links:

CNN: http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/02/02/drew.peterson.breakup/index.html#cnnSTCVideo

CBS: http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=4768555n

Watch CBS Videos Online

I have known Chrissy for over two years.
I will soon decide what else will be added, if anything, to this post.

Super Bowl

2009-02-01T18:48:00.002-06:00

Why do I have this prediction?
Don't know.
But, here it is:

PIT: 27
AZ: 24

But, I'm pulling for AZ.

Enjoy the best day of Football all year! (Only made better if the Bears were in it... and won.)

Miley Usage

2009-01-21T20:00:00.000-06:00

We must conserve our usage. We must think of future generations!

New Thoughts

2009-01-20T22:55:00.003-06:00

It's over.
Obama's sworn in.
Did I vote for him? Nope. But, he is our president. For the next four years he will lead this country. I must respect that. Do I like it? Nope. But, I defiantly respect it. I respect him, the office and above all, the country.
I sincerly hope (no pun intended) that he does remarkable things for this country. I hope that through his leadership that America comes out on top and proves to the world why it is the best country in the world. Maybe, just maybe, he is what we need right now. Only time will tell.
With a democratic president and a democratic congress, perhaps they can show what they are made of and put together something incredible that we weren't able to see before this.
Perhaps we will get out of the financial mess that we are in. Maybe we will be able to offer universal health care for everyone. Hopefully we will be able to say that today is better than yesterday and tomorrow offers nothing but greatness.
I hope above all else that this administration does great things for America. I hope they make us proud. I hope they accomplish great things and that this gives them confidence for greater things.
While I may not agree with all that they stand for, I will stand with them and respect them as the current administration. I do not wish them ill. I do not hope that they falter. I pray for success and the assistance from God that will prove necessary in these tough times.
I challenge everyone who is in my position to do the same. While we may not have enjoyed the outcome, we must face the fact that bitching and moaning about it won't do anything. (Thus, I deleted many recent posts on this blog.) If this country comes together and works toward a common goal of bettering the day-to-day life of the average American, which I believe both sides want, then nothing but great things will occur.
May God bless Barack Obama, his family, his supporters and above all - America.

Very Important Decision!

2009-01-20T06:00:00.005-06:00

A lot went into putting together the dance routine for Obama's inauguration!:

Poor Obama Supporters

2009-01-19T12:00:00.001-06:00

Hopefully there are support groups for the Obama supporters.

Champs

2009-01-18T13:24:00.003-06:00

Here is who is going to the Superbowl:

The Steelers
The Cardinals.

Yup.
Those are my choices.

The Ravens' defence isn't as scary as they pretend that they are. Watch for the first interception from their rookie QB. The Steelers have their number. This despite many people saying "It's hard to beat a team three times in one season." No, it's not. You have the ability to see what worked and how to not only copy that, but build upon that. Ray Lewis is a blow-hard and will be silenced today.
The more controversial choice - Arizona. Yes. Here's why: The Eagles love to blitz. They are very scary when blitzing and usually create great results. However, that will not be a good game-plan against the Cardinals. Warner is great in dealing with the blitz. While his O-Line isn't perfect, it is better than most. Plus, they anticipate the blitz well and usually give Warner several options to get the ball out. Expect some big plays early. As long as AZ can gain the momentum and the lead early, it will become an uphill battle for The Eagles.
This was a hard decision. If PHI realizes this, then they could shut down AZ. AZ will have to go to their running game if PHI covers the field well. AZ isn't that great at the run-game and this could go the way of The Eagles. However, with the inflated egos of The Eagles' defence, I see them starting out by blitzing heavy and then having to re-adjust.

My post-season record has been a little less than desired. I haven't run the numbers, but I bet that I'm somewhere around .500 for the post season. So, expect the Superbowl to host The Eagles vs. The Ravens.

Enjoy your football!

Obama's Experience

2009-01-18T12:00:00.000-06:00

Obama makes up for his lack of experience. No worries anymore!

The Evolution Of Dance!

2009-01-16T08:00:00.003-06:00

Remember the YouTube sensation "The Evolution of Dance?"
Here is part two!:

Incase you didn't see the origional, here it is:

And, of course, The Evolution Of Dance for the rest of us:

Cuisines, Pizza - What?

2009-01-15T08:00:00.007-06:00

Another weird-ass wedding two weekends ago. With all the 2008 re-cap going on, I didn't have a chance to let you know about it.
The bride and groom were both frigid. And at the end of the night, she was pretty drunk. So much so that we ended a half hour early. (Honestly, I enjoy having a good time as next as the other guy, but I'm not going to be drunk and miss an important day like my wedding. How pathetic.)
I started off the wedding with my regular set. I was told that the bride and groom had specifically asked me not to play the first two songs. I looked through my list of music and noticed that their "do not play" list was completely empty. I was confused. Had the office forgotten to include that? I went to ask them.
The bride pointed to a footnote that said that she didn't want any interaction for fear that her wedding would become like the bar mitzvah that she had experienced with our company a few months prior. I became even more confused.
I asked her what that had to do with the music that I was playing. She then let me know that I shouldn't play anything that would be played at a bar mitzvah. I must have looked as confused as I really was because she followed it up with "Have you even been to a bar mitzvah?"
The way she said it put me on the defensive. "No. I haven't. I've DJed nearly 12 years of solely weddings and corporate parties. Not once have I DJed or attended a bar or bat mitzvah." She gave an aggravated huff and asked me if I had gotten her list of suggested songs. I said I did and that I would just stick to that for the rest of the evening.
As I walked away she said "You don't have to do that. Just don't play anything that would be played at a mitzvah!" I thought I had made it clear that I have NO IDEA what the hell she was talking about. But, I figured that if I slipped up, they wouldn't fear coming over to let me know. I started by playing three of her awful requests in a row and they got mixed results. No way as good as the "mitzvah songs" that I had played earlier, but not bad.
She seemed happy, which is all that matters.
They gave a generic and empty "Thank you." to us at the end of the night. I don't care. Whether they are happy or not, I get paid the same.
What was unique about this evening was not the bride and groom, the guests or even the staff. It was the surroundings. First, it was where I worked at an insurance company for 8 hours a day sorting claims in 2002. Nothing but bad memories from that place. The insurance company had since moved out and a prominent national bakery company had moved in.
The wedding took place in the cafeteria. Now, it is not a bad place and actually has a simple elegance to it. It is not the linoleum floors that we imagine with the word "cafeteria." However, there was a food serving section that the employees would go through to get their food and then pay for it on their way to the cafeteria.
This section was closed off and all the food removed. However, we stored our empty equipment boxes back there. This is where we noticed the signs that they had as options for the employee's lunches. These are their options:

Action? Really? That's an option?

"Bill, what did you have for lunch?"
"Well, I was going to get some Pizza. Instead I decided to get some Action."
"Huh, me too. It usually seems more appetizing."
"I don't understand how Jim is able to get some Cuisine AND some Action in the same sitting."
"You think he would be too full from the Cuisine to get some Action."

One sign that I wish I had gotten a picture of, but didn't was "Links." This must be for the morning crowd who are looking for some breakfast. They must keep their sausage links there.
If that is the case, though, why have it called "Links?" Are there other types of Links that I am unaware of?
Oh well. Another Saturday. Another grouping of weirdness.

Mr. Chi-City Breaks Down Justice

2009-01-14T20:00:00.001-06:00

Mr. Chi-City gets heated over a ticket in the cold. $550 to describe an "Overlapsation Situation!"

Erin - Come Back!

2009-01-14T08:30:00.002-06:00

Whatever happened to Erin Gray? She played "Kate" on Silver Spoons (Who didn't want that train in their house?!) and also was Wilma Deering on some AWFUL 70's TV show called "Buck Rodgers."

Since then she has gone down the standard path of pathetic cable TV movies. (Probably that insulting Lifetime crap that Joanna Kerns does) One of her most recent "Loaded" had a comment with the phraze "...it's poorly acted, stereotypical, and ultimately terribly boring."

Erin! You're better than this! We all know it.

All I'm saying is, Erin, come back. We miss you.

Blockbuster Museum

2009-01-13T19:00:00.002-06:00

The Onion is AWESOME! If you are unable to get a copy of the paper, the videoes that they release online are very well done as well.
This one is on Blockbuster.

The Best of The Best

2009-01-13T06:45:00.005-06:00

Red Line - Pants = Social Experiment

2009-01-12T19:59:00.003-06:00

Pants off on the red line?
It went down.
Were you there?
Did you see it?
If you did or if you didn't, here's what the Chicago Tribune had to say about it: Click here
Or you can watch last year's event here:

No Pants 2k8 from ImprovEverywhere on Vimeo.

No Pants 2k8: Woman's Reaction from ImprovEverywhere on Vimeo.

One More

2009-01-10T22:32:00.005-06:00

There is one more post that I didn't have time to put up from the "2008 Re-Cap" series. There were two more, but I have decided against one of them. I work at the same restaurant where Drew Peterson's (alleged) fiance' works at. But, due to the fact that this story is rooted in the (alleged) homicide of two of his wives, I thought it would be in bad taste to tell you of the behind-the-scenes stuff that I witnessed.
The second story, however, I debated as to whether or not I should post it. It is, by far, the most controversial post that I will put on this blog. I am currently re-writing it so that I can be placed on here.
You will see this post on Monday at noon, if everything goes well.
After that, a "Best of 2008" post will occur on Tuesday for those who don't want to see what will occur on Monday.

Where's Waldo?

2009-01-10T15:19:00.001-06:00

Finding Waldo is not always fun.

Post-Season Week Two!

2009-01-09T22:19:00.002-06:00

Here's how this weekend is going to go down:

TEN over BAL
PIT over SD (Sorry, Chad!)
CAR over AZ (Warner can't keep going, can he?!)
PHI over NYG (This one is hard. I thought about this quite a bit. While the Giants did so well last year, this was before Burris shot himself. I think the Eagles have a good shot.)
Enjoy your football this weekend. I have it completely off of work, so you now know what my priorities are!
Oh, and thank you to all who enjoyed the "2008 Re-cap" (Stories I forgot) that we had this week!

Pants Off Commute Off

2009-01-07T21:25:00.001-06:00

I just heard on WLS an interview with one of the leaders of a group called "Improv Everywhere."
They do strange things to mess with people such as get a group together in a store to "shop in slow-motion." Or have an even bigger group freeze at the same time in a train station for five minutes. Then move for 15 seconds then freeze for another five.
They plan on doing something rather interesting at noon on Saturday across the world. Here in Chicago, it will go down on the Red Line.

Find out more by clicking here.
For the specific Chicago aspects, click here.

Across The Desk

2009-01-07T14:01:00.006-06:00

As most of you know, I teach college. For the most part, I teach adults who want to better themselves and their place in the world. Sometimes a child with an attitude slips into the mix. Such is the case of a girl named "Amy." I have changed her name to protect the innocent, namely, me. She is far from it.
Amy is the kind of girl who some found very attractive and thus, got everything handed to her. It was because of this that she felt that talking with her friends during class was appropriate behavior. When I would call them out on it, they would deny it. I would even remind them that they are in the front row and I can both see and hear them. They would then sulk and begin texting between each other.
Each time they aggravated me, I made mention of it to the higher-ups so that everything was documented should I ever need to lay down the law. At one point, management even recommended that the three be separated. I went back to class and told them that management wanted me to split them up. I told them that I wasn't going to do this because I knew that they enjoyed sitting next to each other. I played it as if I was on their side and it was us vs. management. This despite the fact that I am the one that brought up their behavior to management. And these students bought it for a while. They became more involved with the class and the assignments. Well, for a little while.
They slipped up again, but I didn't have the energy or desire to go through separating them. But, it was great to know that if it ever did get really bad, those over my head had my back. As you may have guessed, it did eventually get bad. It went from bad to worse really quickly.
One of the projects that we worked on as a class is a study of News Talk radio. Think of WLS or Rush Limbaugh for examples. As a class I had each of them select a controversial topic and take a side. Someone else in the class will select the other side.
These topics are controversial. They are heated. They cause great emotion. I encouraged them to express this. However, they must remain respectful of themselves, their opponent, the class and me. Should anyone in the class lose this respect, they will be docked points on this project.
Sure enough, while some students were giving their opening arguments, others were talking. I would make eye contact with the offender(s) and then make a fake mark in my book. I would later decide if the infraction was enough to dock them actual points. But, it scared the hell out of them and they thought twice before doing that again.
After just a few tandems, it was Amy's turn. She brought her typed research up to the desk that I had at the front of the class room. On opposite sides of the table sat two chairs for the debaters. She took the one on the class' right and Jasmine the one on the left. Jasmine didn't have anything typed. As a matter of fact, Jasmine didn't have anything with her.
This in light of me telling the entire class "Research the hell out of your side. Then do just as much research on the opposite side. Come to class with a one minute of typed opening statement. Then have the fact supporting your argument well documented." She must have missed that small portion of the assignment.
The two girls would be discussing gay marriage. Amy gave her opening statement. Jasmine gave hers. Then they began talking. Then arguing. This was fine. It is a part of the project. They weren't personally attacking each other.
Amy stopped mid-sentence and turned to me and asked "Why are we doin' this?" I paused from my notes to look up at her. "She don't even have any research. I did my part. Where is her papers?"
Jasmine then let us know that her research was that she had a cousin who was gay. Thus her research was in her heart. The class found this amusing. I told the two girls to continue. Amy stopped once again and looked at me. "I can't believe we are still doin' this! She didn't do any work before this!" I reminded Amy that it would be pretty easy to prove Jasmine wrong then. "Amy, you can use the research you gathered in order to shoot down what she says." Amy sucked it up and went at it again. She seemed a bit calmer at first, but then she burst like a pressure cooker.
Jasmine brought up some sort of "fact" of hers. Amy took a look at her and said "Where did you find that? Made-up land?" Jasmine got aggravated and Amy took advantage of that. Amy looked her dead in the eye and said "I'm better than you."
I couldn't believe that someone would have such a warped sense of self to say that to another human being's face. This was the last straw. Jasmine broke. She leaned forward and said "Don't make me come across this desk."
"You do it. I dare you. You come over here, me and my group are gonna mess your world up." Amy pointed at her obnoxious friends in the front row. They looked at each other as if to say "How the hell did we get involved with this crap?!" Their true colors really shined at that moment.
It was here that I started telling them that their presentation was over. They didn't hear me. I even got in between them by leaning over the desk and telling them that they were done. They leaned around me.
It is very rare that I become upset. I don't have a temper and don't usually let things get to me. This didn't quite upset me as much as I made it seem. But, I realized I could not allow this to escalate any more than it had, so I put on a bit of a show.
I threw their papers on the ground, slammed my hands down on the desk and shouted "YER DONE!"
They both paused and looked up at me. I stood up and shouted "YER DONE. GET BACK TO YOUR SEATS, YER DONE!"
They gathered up their papers and when they caught each other's eye, started shouting across the classroom to each other again! I couldn't believe it. They were each about to sit down when I shouted at them again. "YOU KNOW WHAT? I HAVE A BETTER IDEA - GET OUT." They looked at me very puzzled. "YOU HEARD ME. GET OUT. I'M DONE DEALING WITH BOTH OF YOU!"
Jasmine quickly gathered her things and headed out of the room. Amy took her time. She was about to say something to one of her pain-in-the-ass friends, but before she could get a word out I cut her off. "AMY, GET OUT. WHAT PART OF THAT IS DIFFICULT FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND?"
She came up to me and said "But, I didn't start-" I cut her off again. "I don't care who started it. I don't care what you have to say. I'm sick of your attitude. I'm sick of your mouth. I'm sick of you. Get out of my class room. If you want to run your mouth, I have office hours after class for an hour and a half. Until then, shut up and get out."
The class was speechless. She even backed up a bit not expecting that out of me. She (literally) stomped out of the classroom and then all eyes fell on me. I knew that I needed to cut the tension otherwise things could ignite once again.
"MARCUS! SEAN!" Both students had the knee-jerk reaction to shout "HERE" I tried to hide my smile when I said "YOU'RE NEXT. GET UP HERE." I then turned to the rest of the class as they made their way up to the table and said "They will be discussing the legalization of marijuana. I'm assuming that this will be a MUCH more mellow conversation than the previous one." Everyone laughed and they began debating.
While I was evaluating them, I hear the door open behind me. You'll never guess who was entering the classroom. Amy walked up behind me and said "Excuse me. Mr. Mc?" (No, she used my real name, but I'm not about to publish it here! Remember? Have to protect the innocent!)
I turned to her and whispered "Can you not see that I'm busy evaluating other students? What part of shut up and leave don't you understand?" Meanwhile the students continued debating.
"I just need to know what the assignment is for Wednesday."
"Check your syllabus. Get out."
"I don't know where mine is."
"Then see me after class. You are bothering me and cheating the current students out of their time."
"Ok. Oh, and I thought you should know, Old Girl is talking to your boss."
She then stomped out again. This poor thing must have had unusually heavy feet.
For the remainder of the class I thought about what was going to happen when I went back to my office. I knew that my boss had heard from at least one of them, if not both of them. Would I be reprimanded for how I handled things?
I thought I did the right thing at the right time. I did everything in my power to hold back any cursing. I was so very tempted. So very tempted.
We closed up shop and I went to my boss' office. I asked him if he had heard of all the fireworks that occurred in my classroom. He asked me to close the door.
He looked at me and said "You had to deal with some really F-ed up bitches today, didn't ya?"
I was relieved that he had the same opinion of them as I did. He reminded me that they always had my back from day one and that they will continue to do so. If I was able to justify my actions, then I was cool.
I ran into Jasmine in the hall moments later. She saw me and then looked down at the ground. "Come here" I said to her. She slowly walked over.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Mc. I didn't mean to disrespect you or your classroom."
"Good. I appreciate hearing that. You know what happened in there? You lost it. She got to you. And you let her. You let her." "I know, Mr. Mc."
"You're better than that. You are much better than that."
"I know, Mr. Mc."
"Don't let that happen again. Do you hear me?" "I do, Mr. Mc. I'm sorry."
"Fine. I will see you on Wednesday."
Amy was no where to be found until Wednesday. It was shortly before class that I saw her in the hallway.
She came up to me and said "Mr. Mc., I want to apologize for what happened in the last class. But, it wasn't my fault. I didn't start it."
"Thanks, Amy for your attempt at an apology." No true apology has a "but" in it. "Irregardless of whether or not you started it, you escalated it. That is why you are getting a 0 out of 100 points on this project. There is only 700 points total for the class."
"What? I got a zero after all the work I did? She didn't do any of her work and I'm the one that got a zero?!"
"You nearly started a fight in my class. Do you honestly feel that I should give you points for that?" "You mean that if I started something with someone we would both get in trouble?" "If they behaved like an irresponsible child and fed into it, then, yes."
She looked at me, snorted and went into the classroom.
She didn't end up passing my class. Although, her "friends" put forth more effort (and didn't start any fights in my class) and passed. It looks like it will just be me and her next semester. I can't wait.

Let's Go Go Go White Sox!!!

2009-01-06T09:00:00.004-06:00

This year was a great year for the Chicago White Sox. No, they didn't win the World Series. They barely limped into the play-offs. But, I got to watch their progress. I caught nearly every game this season. Some on television, but the best were in person. I have lost count of how many times that I had the opportunity to go to the ball park. However, the most memorable was the rained-out game that I went to! Click here for that full story.
On that day, we got a tour of the park that included a trip to the field. While we didn't get to go on the grass, we did get to go in the dug out. How very awesome! They also showed us the view that the rich people get of the game from the seats that we would never be able to afford.
Here are some photos of us hanging out at that game: (I'm in the white 2005 World Series Champions Chicago White Sox hat.)

I should have brought some sunflower seeds!

This is the view the White Sox see right before entering the field.

Got to stand on the warning track. How VERY awesome!

We also went for my birthday (it just so happened that the game that we went to was one week prior to it so that we could take advantage of Nick Swisher Bobble Head Day)

Me and some co-workers enjoy the tailgating before the game.

We even went for no apparent reason other than it was time to catch a game. And it was time for Marcus and I to start a tradition - a 40 before the game for good luck:

If we get our 40's before the game, Da Sox will win that day. This season we may try doing it at home for added luck for Da Sox.

That sign never gets old.

A Scrubs Christmas

2009-01-06T08:22:00.003-06:00

I know. Christmas is over. It is no longer on our minds. Instead, we are now agonizing over the Visa bill and wondering why we spent $5 on wrapping paper that would be in existence for less than 24 hours?!
The last thing that you probably want to see is another Christmas special.
Well, because I'm addicted to YouTube, I found one last Christmas present under the tree before it is tossed. This one is a little different.
We looked at the best moment in Christmas Special history last month with the Charlie Brown gang. Today, we get to hear Scrubs' take on the whole thing. I don't think this has ever aired. I am not sure why this was made. But, if you are a fan of Scrubs or Charlie Brown or Christmas, then you'll dig this. It is surprisingly touching at the end.
Another reason why this is being posted today is because Scrubs makes their triumphant return to television tonight on ABC. Cortney Cox (She was in a show called "Friends." I recommend you google it. It wasn't too bad) also makes a guest appearance for the first few episodes. Probably just another way to stick it to NBC.
Without any further delay, this is A Charlie Brown Christmas from the cast of Scrubs:

(More forgotten 2008 posts to come! They get better and better! Keep checking back!!!)

Tying The Knot In Effingham

2009-01-05T07:00:00.006-06:00

Effingham. How I miss thee.
Effingham always provided for me a slower, quieter and calmer look at life. This perspective really allows one to observe and appreciate life in general. The short amount of time that I got to spend down in Effingham will be a point in my life that I will always cherish. The strangers who became friends very quickly became my family away from home.
One member of my family got married on September 21st. His name is Josh.
A little back-story on Josh:
When I first interviewed at WCRC, Effingham, Josh was currently filling in on the show that I would be taking over. While he will never admit it, most everyone knew that he wanted to keep the program. He claims that he always wanted to be behind-the-scenes doing electrical work, which is what he eventually ended up doing. He is currently an engineer in Iowa for several radio stations and is soon going to be moving to field worker for a radio computer company.
However, our relationship was strained in the beginning. He mentioned that he would show me around "his town" during my first week. I thought that would be enjoyable, not realizing that he was quoting "My Town" by Montgomery Gentry when he said this.
After a few months of Miller Lights on the deck and late nights discussing the relay systems for the satellite programming, I knew that I had a friend in Effingham. He was also very proud to call himself a "redneck" and owned many Jeff Foxworthy albums to back up his claims.
While I was down in Effingham, he met a girl named Sherry. They dated and eventually started living together while she went to school in Carbondale, IL. This was the longest that I had seen Josh date anyone and we all were wondering when they were going to take the next step.
I was thrilled to get a phone call from Josh letting me know that he had asked her and, by some miracle, she said "yes!" They let me know the date was September 21st and I let them know that I wouldn't miss this for the world!
Not only would I get to see my two friends get married, but I would have an excuse to head back to Effingham after several years of being 3 hours north in Chicagoland.
I packed up the Scion early that morning (Well, early for me - 9am) and headed south to Effingham. I had forgotten how long that trip was. I passed the familiar scenery that I had come to know after many weekend round-trips while I worked in Effingham during the week and Chicago on the weekends.
While on my trip down, I contacted the folks that I had come to know while I was down there to set up times to see them. One person I talked to was Heather. She had the air shift right before me. She let me know that she was going to the wedding as well. Plus, her husband and daughter were not going to be there, so she would be my date that evening. I asked her to be my designated driver in return.
As I pulled into town, I quickly made my way to the United Church of Hope (or something like that) for the ceremony. I knew that this wouldn't be the regular wedding that I was used to. I was expecting things to be slightly off.
They were.
The church reminded me of the theater for Second City. It had a black ceiling and movable chairs with a raised stage that had white background and a sound booth behind the "audience." I was given a program and found a seat next to Heather. As I entered I didn't hear the standard string quartet that I was used to, but instead a guy on saxophone and another on guitar played blues rifs. I recalled Josh's love of "The Blues Brothers" and pretty much anything blues and this really made sense. I found it a great touch and a way to make your wedding ceremony unique and your own.
I agreed with the design until I saw the groomsmen enter the room and then read how the bride would be welcomed down the aisle. The groomsmen all wore the sunglasses and hats of Jake and Elwood as they walked in. (Despite us being a little further than 106 miles from Chicago.) "Here Comes The Bride" would be played by Josh... on harmonica.
I recalled that when I met Josh that he had just received a harmonica. He would attempt (key word) to play me a song on harmonica. Instead it sounded nothing like the song he was aiming for and bordered on noise more than music. I was fearful for his performance.
However, apparently there had been months of practice on this song and it came out alright. The ceremony had the unity candle and the pouring of the sand and all the rest of the standard stuff. That is until we went out to welcome them to their car.
No one was given rice or bells or bubbles. Instead, everyone got a mini harmonica to play as they left the church. Cute. Way to keep the theme going. I dug it and expected nothing less from Josh.
We had some time between the ceremony and the reception. So, we went to a former hang-out of mine called "Sneaky Pete's." (The locals creatively nick-named this "Stinky Pete's") After a Jack and Coke and a Long Island, I was doing ok.
Heather and I ventured off to the American Legion where this was being held. I knew of two in Effingham, but it was at a mystery third that I never knew existed. (And I thought I had been everywhere in Effingham. Apparently not!)
We step out of the car onto the gravel parking lot and head for the doors. Inside, long tables with white plastic table cloths await us. Each has a center piece with balloons and mutli-colored sprinkles on it. We sat right near the buffet table. (Wise move, if you ask me.)
Heather, being the great date that she was that evening, got a drink for herself and me while I met the folks at the table. They claim to have known me from when I was down there before. I let them know that I have no idea who they are. (I'm working on being more honest.) They talked about how they listened to me all the time and have even hung out with me on occasion. Still didn't ring a bell.
The servers gathered up a portion of each item from the buffet table in big clear plastic bowls and brought it up to the head table so they didn't have to wait in line at the buffet. The rest of us shuffled through the line to get our meal. Fried chicken, mashed potatoes and other amenities were available for us. Just don't forget your napkins and plastic silverware at the end, otherwise you have to go through the line again or cut in briefly to retrieve them.
I got just what I needed for round one of my meal. I figured this would be all that I needed, but left room for more of what tasted good for my next time through the line. That is until Heather pointed out that the waiters had taken what was picked over from the head table and were placing it back in the food's respective containers on the buffet table.
I didn't get a second round.
Heather then pointed out the gun rack on one of the walls in the room. I must say that it was the widest variety of rifles that I had seen in a wedding hall in quite a long while.
The bar was on the side of the dance floor. There you could order anything you wanted. As long as it was Bud, Bud Light, Miller Lite or Miller High Life. All in cans. At one point I went up to place my order of Miller Lite, and the bartender paused.
"Do I know you?" She asked.
"No. I'm not from around here." I quickly responded. I knew where this was going.
"Sure I do. Are you on the radio?"
"No. I used to be, but I'm not anymore."
"SURE! You're John! You're from Gayle and John in the Morning! Where's Gayle?"
"Yeah, I am. Not sure where Gayle is."
"Well, I used to listen to you guys all the time. You were great. Tell Gayle I said 'Hi' the next time you see her."
The bar, itself, remained open during the reception. The denim-clad patrons would walk through the dance floor to the bar and watch the festivities. This wasn't a problem, for most of the patrons were also in jeans. even the bride wanted to slip into something more comfortable than her high-heals and donned her cowgirl boots.
When I heard that the DJ was a cousin of Josh, I had my doubts, but she did a great job. Everyone really enjoyed the festivities.
Meanwhile, up in Chicagoland, one of my second-cousins was getting married. My folks were invited and told me of the $1000 centerpieces that were on each table. How the meal was filet and lobster tail. The floors were marble and the chandeliers were plentiful.
I thought about this and realized that I was glad that I was where I was. I guarantee that I had MUCH more fun with fried chicken and cans of Miller Lite than I ever would have had at my second-cousin's wedding.
The reason? Josh's wedding was a celebration. It was friends and family gathering to spread the joy of their union. My second-cousin's may have had that. However, people didn't talk about that. Instead they discussed how expensive and lavish everything was. The pomp and circumstance seems to have clouded the real reason that we celebrate a momentous occasion like this.
I had a blast. And it wasn't over yet!
There was an after-party at Josh's folks house. Did Josh and Sherry retire to their honeymoon suite after their reception? Hell no! They were at the after party as well! A keg of Miller Lite (What else?) was in the backyard. Small bottles of Jack and Baccardi were on the picnic tables for shooting. (One lady had to really twist my arm to get me to do a shot of Jack with her. Then it hit. I let her know it would be a few minutes before I did another one.)
After my first beer, a 13 year-old came up to me and asked "Would you care for another, sir?" I asked him if he knew how to pour it properly. He looked at me as if I had asked him if he knew how to walk. "Yes, sir. My grandpa has taught me well."
Sure enough, 99% beer and 1% head was in my solo cup in no time. I turned to Josh shortly after and said "That kid really knows how to pour a beer."
Josh pointed behind me and said "He knows how to drink it as well." I turned behind me and several adults huddled around this kid encouraging him to "Chug, chug, chug!"
"I love this place," was all I could think.
It was at this point that I was glad that Heather had drove. She remained responsible and took me back to my hotel where I called it a night.
The next day, I woke up early to go to church with my good friends William and his wife, Nancy. We met up with Chad to have lunch at William's parents' house. This isn't a standard lunch. This is an Effingham Sunday lunch. His dad was on the grill with the hot dogs and hamburgers. I assumed this was it. Not a chance. His mom brought out pasta, steamed vegetables and 106 other dishes. Not to mention desert afterwards.
It was after an afternoon of catching up with old friends that I once again said good-bye to Effingham. I miss it every time that I leave. But, I knew it wouldn't be the last time that I would be down there.
Sure enough, I have yet another wedding down there on the 31st of this month.
It is a different world and I'm thankful for every minute that I have the opportunity to spend there. I'm even more thankful for the friendships that have endured long after the distance between us has grown.
More on Effingham soon!!!

David Blaine Street Magic

2009-01-04T17:49:00.001-06:00

Before I do the 2008 re-cap. I had to share something with you. This is "David Blaine Street Magic." My friend Amanda showed this to me on New Years and I found it to be quite humorous. All you really need to see is the first two. The third is decent. Everyone after that is something done for a French company. Not really too sure what is going on.

Enjoy!

2008 Round-Up

2009-01-04T14:12:00.003-06:00

It looks as if I can only get .500 for my picks today. At least my BAL pick seems to be panning out as the 3rd Quarter comes to an end. Go McNabb! Don't make me a complete failure this week!
I have been thinking that there are a few stories that I have forgotten to post on here throughout 2008. I will be spending the next week updating you on the lost stories of 2008 and then concluding with a year-in-review.
Expect a post a day until we have cleared out all of 2008. It is then, and only then, that we can look forward to 2009.
So, stay tuned, more to come shortly!

Post Season

2009-01-03T15:11:00.003-06:00

Both the Giants and Colts are in the post season. Many, including myself, would like to see if they end up playing each other in the Super Bowl. This would pit brothers Peyton and Eli Manning against each other. Finally we will see who Archie likes better. (Chad from Effingham reminded me that it was Matt from AZ.) Both Matt and Peyton play today. (Well, Matt is in more of a Grossman position with his I-Pod on the side-lines, but he will be there.)
Here are the post season picks. (Not that the post season matters this year!)

ATL over AZ (I like Matt Ryan and Turner here.)
IND over SD (For some reason this is an upset. Yes, IND hasn't been playing as they have in past seasons, but in the post season they are a different team.)
BAL over MIA (What is MIA doing here?!)
PHI over MIN (MIN shouldn't be in the post season either.)

Without the Bears, it is pointless. But, should you watch the post season, this is how it's going to shape up.

Happy Holidays

2008-12-27T15:39:00.002-06:00

I spent way too much money this Christmas. Every time I thought I was done, I would remember someone else. It was even on Christmas Eve that I remembered I got nothing for my neighbors and went out to get a small box of chocolates. (Although, I must say that this is to put some minty chocolates in their mouths to make it more difficult to call in another noise complaint.)
One thing I noticed while shopping was that not once did I hear "Happy Holidays." I was so very impressed. I heard "Merry Christmas" from everyone who wished me well in a timely manner. I didn't know that this was allowed. Plus in the service industry, one may run the risk of upsetting someone of a different faith. (However, I doubt that many people will get their feathers ruffled over the well-wishes of someone just trying to make it through their shift.) What a great turn of events in the "war on Christmas." I think I will have to write O'Reily to alert him that he no longer has to yell. He (and we) will be so relieved.
I have also noticed that as one grows older, things shift. When receiving was the big deal as a child, giving has become a greater joy for me. Don't get me wrong, I like getting stuff (contact me for ways you can assist with this) but, I really enjoyed giving stuff this year. Just today I will be heading off to my aunt's house to give her and my God Son, Max, some presents. I can't wait. I don't even care what or if they got me anything.
I have also been told that I'm difficult to shop for. (Cash is always a welcome option) I think it's because I really don't want anything. I'm a minimalist. I don't need much to be happy. A Bears win and a few cold beers and I'm set. I don't need to watch the game on a 755" HD LCD TV. (Also a welcome option) I don't need to sip the expensive wine. (My palate won't appreciate it anyway.) I don't need the newest downloads. (I still don't have an MP3 player)
I am content with the way things are. However, I am excited at making things better in the future. I have a solid foundation for advancement and for that I am grateful. I have a great social network of incredible friends. (I even have some great ones three hours south of me!) I love each member of my family and enjoy each moment I have with them. Even most of my co-workers are alright.
Essentially, I have all that I will ever need and most of what I want.
Merry Christmas.

Last NFL Week

2008-12-27T11:22:00.003-06:00

It has been a fun ride through the regular season. I feel I did rather well. I'm not sure of my record (If someone with some time on their hands would like to figure it out, it would be much appreciated) but I'm sure that I'm extremely close to perfect. This week, the Giants and Bears must both taste victory in order for Da Bears to make it to the play offs. Should one or both of these things not occur, the evil Minnesota Vikings will advance to the post season and Da Bears go home to Burr Ridge. This unique situation will lift our "I Hate NY" status for a three hour period on Sunday. Be advised.

Here's what's going to happen in the last week:

ATL over STL
BAL over JAX
NE over BUF
CIN over KC (Upset? Really?)
GB over DET (Why not make it a new record!)
CHI over HOU (LET'S DO THIS!!!)
TEN over IND
NYG over MN (MAKE IT HAPPEN! Become Archie's favorite for once, Eli!!!)
CAR over NO
MIA over NYJ (Seek revenge, Chaddy!)
DAL over PHI
PIT over CLE
TB over OAK
AZ over SEA
WAS over SF
DEN over SD (Final upset of the regular season.)

I must say that these predictions are based on full team performance. Should a team that has clinched put in their scrubs after the first series, I can't be held responsible for the outcome of the game. (That should cover my ass.)

Enjoy football. I'll see you in the post-season.

Another NFL Week

2008-12-21T10:58:00.003-06:00

Here's how this is going to play out:

IND over JAX
DAL over BAL
CIN over CLE
TB over SD
TEN over PIT (Upset one)
SF over STL
NO over DET (Go winless, you jerks!)
AZ over NE (Upset two)
MIA over KC
DEN over BUF
NYJ over SEA
HOU over OAK
ATL over MIN (PLEASE!!!)
WAS over PHI (Final upset)
CAR over NYG
CHI over GB

Now, I'm off to Second City to see some former classmates perform. You enjoy your football, and I will join in with you shortly!

GO BEARS!!!

Blockhead Update

2008-12-17T20:10:00.001-06:00

Ok. While looking up the Charlie Brown Christmas clip that I found for the previous post, I found this and had to share it. It's cheezy. It's well-edited. It's a slight twist on your favorite dancing Charlie Brown charecters. (I usually play the part of the yellow shirt kid, but I just noticed the girl in green. What the hell is she doing?!)

Christmas Specials

2008-12-17T12:25:00.004-06:00

I still enjoy watching all the Christmas specials that play each year. It brings me back to a time when my sister and I would watch Frosty, Rudolph and the rest with our folks and some popcorn.
This year, I really noticed how messed up Rudolph really is! That "Holiday Special" is dangerous! It teaches kids that if you notice someone different than you, ridicule them. This builds character. Then Rudolph runs away from home to solve his problems. He teams up with a gay elf and a prospector. This seems safe! THEN he runs away AGAIN! The gay elf stops the evil monster that has been following them by taking out all of his teeth... Yeah. When Rudolph's girlfriend and mother say they want to go searching for him, Rudy's father tells them "No. This is man's work." It wasn't until Rudolph returned and his abnormality was found to be a benefit in the harsh snow that he was permitted to join in with the rest of the group. Had this not happened, surely a reindeer eating disorder would have occurred.
I missed Frosty and accidentally taped the Jim Carey version of The Grinch, so I missed out on those. But, I bet I would have been just as disappointed.
What was on just last night that I am glad that I got to see was A Charlie Brown Christmas. Now, disregard the last half hour of this hour-long Christmas special. The last half hour is all the characters asking for stuff on their Christmas lists, which completely ruins the message of the first half hour. This looked like it was done in the mid-90s. Although, I'm assuming it was after so that Charles Schultz could spin in his grave over this crap.
Today's youth should turn off the TV at the 30 minute mark of this program. It is here that Linus explains the true meaning of Christmas. This moment was asked to be taken out by CBS and Schultz refused. Thank God he did. It is this little speech that makes it, by far, the best Christmas Special ever.

First Snow

2008-12-15T13:52:00.003-06:00

A few weeks ago, Chicago got 437 inches of snow in one evening. It seems ridiculous that they still stuck with the inch measurement, but they did.
I captured this event, the first snow of this season, with my camera from my balcony just for you. Here are some of the images:

Here's how it all started.

My Christmas decorations got a little more festive.

Nope. Not in black and white, it was just that damn cold out.

Electric lights + Melting snow + 1972 extension cord = Merry Christmas!

Moon not actual size.

Steve P. and me on 12/07/08 - Bears vs. Jags. The good guys won.

New NFL Week!!!

2008-12-14T11:07:00.005-06:00

Da Bears have already played and won against The Saints. Of course I was going to pick Da Bears, so we will add that to my picks. Our defence showed up to play. They brought both the noise and the funk. Our offence seems to have lost a step. Orton needs to gain some confidence (he has the protection, if you ask me.) And speaking of confidence, our special teams FINALLY ran one back this week. This SHOULD have lit a fire under 23's ass, but it didn't. Instead he kept going backwards. But, I will not do that. Let us look forward to this weeks' remaining games:

SEA over STL
NYJ over BUF (Why is this game on instead of The Packers? I think that Chicagoians would rather see a divisional rival fall on their face instead of a town in NY that no one ever travels to?)
MIA over SF
SD over KC (The official "I don't care" game of the week.)
JAX over GB (First upset of the week. I had to go against my better judgement here.)
IND over DET (Let's have a consistent season, Detroit, shall we?)
TEN over HOU
WAS over CIN
ATL over TB
AZ over MIN (PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!!)
NE over OAK
BAL over PIT
CAR over DEN
NYG over DAL (Upset two. TO needs to shut up in order to get some wins.)
PHI over CLE

That's it for this week.
Enjoy your football.
Go ARIZONA!!!

Produce Pete

2008-11-27T06:00:00.001-06:00

I really wish I had this up for Halloween. Oh well, Thanksgiving is the same thing. Just no costumes and we eat turkey instead of candy and the day is about giving thanks for the blessings we have and not scaring away bad spirits through the use of carved gourds. Other than that, the same thing.

Happy Thanksgiving!

NFL Picks

2008-11-26T18:45:00.001-06:00

Turkey and football go together like Obama and Socialism. (Obama just came up in the Spell Check for this Apple computer. You would think that Apple would be on that by now.)

Anyway, I can't wait to relax in front of the TV tomorrow and watch some football and drink some beer after enjoying too much turkey. Oh, and my relatives will be there too.

Here is what is going to happen:

TEN over DET (Come on! THIS is the Thanksgiving Day game?! It might as well be the '85 Bears vs. a ballet company! I would like to see the remarkable odds on DET coming up with a win on this one!)

DAL over SEA

AZ over PHI (Let's see McNabb cry on the bench again this week!)

TB over NO

NYG over WAS

BUF over SF

IND over CLE

CAR over GB (This is a "wishful thinking" upset from me.)

MIA over STL

ATL over SD (I can't believe this is an upset, but it is. Go Ryan!)

PIT over NE

OAK over KC (Who cares anymore?)

NYJ over DEN (Should be a good game.)

CHI over MIN (An upset? Really? All they have is a running game and we proved in the past two out of three games that we can shut that down. Now, if we can shut down both the ground AND air attack, we'd have something!)

HOU over JAX

That's it for this week.

Enjoy your football with turkey.

Ronnie

2008-11-26T12:42:00.003-06:00

I buried my cousin this week.

Please keep him and his family and friends in your prayers.

Week 12

2008-11-23T03:53:00.003-06:00

I know that the Thursday game has already been played. And I know that the Steelers have already won. However, I picked them before the game started. Trust me, that due to my above average record, it should be known that I am aware that The Bengals suck this year. Perhaps Ocho Sinco should change his name back to Johnson.

Here is the rest of the league:

BAL over PHI
TEN over NYJ (Although, if any team were to beat them, the Jets would be them. I hope they do! The Titans need a reality check!)
TB over DET (Detroit has NO CHANCE!!!)
MIN over JAX (Even though I hope the Jags win to give Da Bears a better record in the NFC North!)
BUF over KC
CHI over STL (FINALLY an easy win for us... I hope!!!)
MIA over NE (Who would have said this before the season started?!)
DAL over SF (Despite the fact that I want Singletary to have his second win of the season!)
HOU over CLE
DEN over OAK
ATL over CAR (Close game here! AZ is playing for more than CAR is.)
NYG over AZ
WAS over SEA
IND over SD
NO over GB (Hopefully. Assume this is my only upset of the week with GB doing as well as they have been this week.)

Enjoy your football this week.
Go Bears. (We need it!)

Jay Won!

2008-11-19T15:55:00.005-06:00

Congrats to Jay! He has won the picture contest. Thanks to all who entered. Your responses were as quick as they were wrong. Except for Jay.

The Speedway with the altered sign is on Cass Avenue in Westmont ( 6241 S. Cass Ave, Westmont, IL 60559 (630)810-1120) Enjoy reasonably priced gas (Roughly $2.05 at the moment) as well as other amenities.

The clerks come close to speaking English which makes for a better purchasing experience. Expect to find lighters and chap stick on the counter.

While the amenities leave a little to be desired, majority of what you are looking for is available. It is not as expansive as it's counter-part found on Boughton Road in Bolingbrook. (499 West Boughton Road, Bolingbrook, IL 60030 (630)759-1950) The only thing that I wish they would bring back to either location is the quart of chocolate milk. That was a staple of mine for nearly a year until they took it away roughly 8.5 months ago. They do have the pints of "Milk Chug" chocolate milk, but that defeats the purpose! Bastards. Expect the gas price to be anywhere from 0.03-$0.12 more than it's Westmont counterpart. This being due to it's location, I'm guessing, not to compensate for nearly triple the shopping experience with it's larger store. Despite the larger store, the selections seem to just be spread out more. Granted, they have the rotating hot dogs, Mexican crispy things and other stuff that I fear investigating. They have the large soda fountain that no one uses. They have the extra magazines in the rack. (Maxim and FHM) But, the other amenities (chocolate milk) that the average consumer craves are not there. Lets see some soup or chili or cereal! If you are a convince store, you should provide the simple stuff. The cat food is not necessary for everyone. Chili is. (Beans in. Don't skimp on the beans, dammit!)

Jay you now have a week to compose a blog post for the blog on whatever you would like. E-mail it to be in time and it will be included for all to see. Should you desire pictures or video, include the links.

Thanks to all who played. More later!

Read Carefully!

2008-11-17T20:03:00.003-06:00

Where is this picture from?

The one who guesses first can be a guest poster on my blog!

Week 11

2008-11-16T11:10:00.003-06:00

Jets over Pats
Eagles over Bengles
ATL over CLE
MIA over OAK
TEX over IND (1st Upset)
NO over KC (The "I don't care" game of the week)
CHI over GB (PLEASE!!!)
TB over MIN
CAR over DET (Obviously)
NYG over BAL
SF over STL
AZ over SEA (Another upset)
PIT over SD
WAS over DAL
BUFF over CLE

Beware

2008-11-15T22:04:00.006-06:00

Each year it happens right around Halloween. Usually within two weeks after Halloween, right in the center of football season and around the time that everyone is used to wearing at least a jacket each day, it comes back.
An unsuspecting nation is subjected to the return of - THE MCRIB.
Each year it returns. And each year I can't remember if I want to indulge myself in the McRib once again. I have completely forgotten whether or not the McRib was a sandwitch worthy of a second attempt. That is until about two years ago when I made a mental note:

"The McRib could very well be the most lethal sandwich ever created by man."

The "Rib" aspect of the sandwich must be a lie. It doesn't resemble a good rib at all. The BBQ sauce is laughable. It must be the most generic greasy, gelled crap that has ever resembled anything edible. If I'm not mistaken, aren't there pickles and onions on there as well? When was the last time that anyone put pickles on their half-slab? Ribs are pretty simple. They are ribs and BBQ sauce. Nothing more. Why include extra elements if the original assembly has gotten so much mileage?
After the first bite of the McRib, my thought was always "Damnit. I remember this now." The second is "Well, I bought it. Might as well finish it."
Buyers remorse was invented after someone ate a McRib. I would guess that no one in the history of man has ever finished a McRib and felt better about themselves or the world around them. Instead they are wondering if the last thing they eat is processed rib, awful sauce and a pickle.
Then the process of self-torture comes into play as you force your system to "Keep it down." If the body rejects the McRib, it is just a sign that you are healthy. If it is accepted, you need to go to an "Immediate Care" facility and have them run the "McRib Series" of tests on you. It will be painful, but help is right around the corner.
There are now protests focused around the McRib. It isn't to raise awareness of the health issues associated with it, they are instead hosted by miss-guided Southern California residents. While majority of the rest of the country is subjected to this awful meat-based scare, Southern California has been spared. (No pun intended) They are upset that they aren't able to select the way and manner in which they will meet their maker. The OC Register wrote an article on the plight of So. Cal. Click here for the article. The article talks about a McDonald's executive: " The female exec essentially said the McRib doesn’t show up that often in restaurants because sales aren’t good enough to sustain the product for a very long time." Of course this is true. After the first attempt, the diner recalls that they dislike the inherit McGenocide that this sandwich could provide Americans. Thus, they take it off the menu to create temporary processed meat amnesia (TPMA) which causes a re-sampling of what should never be ingested.
What I like about the article is that they have quotes from some of the readers. Eric said " The only Mikey D’s sandwich I’ve ever thrown away instead of finishing was a McRib………..Yuck-O!" Yuck-O is right, my friend. Yuck-O. Meatloafer (Tragically, his actual name. His parents wanted to express to the world that they feel meat doesn't contribute much to society. What a cruel childhood he has experienced) wrote "There is no such thing as fake meat, but there such meat at Clown Meat. But it tastes kinda funny." Obviously the stresses of his name and the exposure to The McRib have altered his thinking to assume that this was a constructive contribution to a very serious meat debate. My favorite is from "Dumb In OC" and they write: "If I wanted to put toxins in my body, I’d opt to do drugs - at least you get a high out of it…" I guess not everyone in The OC is dumb.
Follow the Dumb warning: AVOID THE MCRIB. It is not something that you want to eat. Should you fall to the temptation of The McRib, the McTerrorists have won.

Tony and Jackie's Wedding

2008-11-15T12:47:00.004-06:00

It is rare that I have the opportunity to take a day off. Each day off has a number of activities that have to get done. I couldn't tell you what was the last day where I didn't have some sort of commitment. Yesterday was the same way.

I HAD to work in the morning. But, the day ended great. I got to relax with many friends that I haven't seen in a while. This is due to Tony and Jackie getting married last night.

It was a relaxing and enjoyable evening for me. From what I could tell, nearly everyone enjoyed a drama-void evening.

Because I like you, here are some pictures from last night:

Jay is very excitable.

Bill and Laura and Anna

Me and Brock and Blythe (In no particular order)

Me, Blythe, Tony and Jackie. (Bonus points if you can select who is Jackie!)

Last night was a great night. Congrats to Tony and Jackie

Tender Crisp Bacon Chedder Ranch

2008-11-10T23:29:00.003-06:00

This is one of THE BEST commercials ever made. The song is catchy, yet not annoying. It challenges you to sing along each time it is played.
And who saw Hootie as a future country star based on this commercial? Well... probably no one. But, it is still a kick-ass commercial that I have searched YouTube for many-a-time.

Enjoy.

Week X

2008-11-09T11:14:00.004-06:00

Da Bears won last week barely. It should have been a blow-out, yet it was an uphill battle. Plus it was very painful to see Orton leave the game in a play that didn't matter just seconds before he could be relaxing in the locker room. While we were losing under his leadership during the first half, many (including myself) feared Sexy Rexy would help completely flush the remainder of the game down the toilet. And he tried. Throwing into heavy coverage, overthrowing receivers and just basically making poor decisions were commonplace. This week expect more of the same as Grossman takes the field once again against the BEST TEAM IN THE LEAGUE! Needless to say, it was hard to make that pick this week. But, I stand by my final decision.

DEN over CLE (This one may be a close one.)
ATL over NO
CHI over TEN (I have to. This upset is a painful one chosen by hope, not logic.)
JAX over DET
HOU over BAL
MIA over SEA
GB over MIN (Although, this should be a good game.)
BUF over NE (Upset due to my unreasonable faith in BUFF and dislike NE with great passion.)
NYJ over STL (Despite the slight confidence that STL has developed as of late.)
CAR over OAK (This is the BIGGEST no-brainer of the week.)
IND over PIT (I still back Peyton.)
SD over KC
PHI over NYG (Upset again.)
AZ over SF (In the "Who Cares" Bowl on MNF.)

Enjoy your football this week.
Go Bears.

Week Number Nine

2008-11-02T12:16:00.004-06:00

Halloween is over. The air is colder this week. The Bears are back on the field. All is right with the world once again.
All we need to do is get this damn election over with. I venture to guess that majority of people will share this sentiment. I think I'm going to be voting for Matt Forte'.
Here is who is going to win this week:

BUFF over NYJ
CHI over DET (Expect a blow-out. At least 4-digits for Da Bears.)
JAX over CIN
CLE over BAL
TB over KC
TEX over MIN (This may actually be a good game. TEX has learned to play this year.)
STL over AZ
TEN over GB (GO TEN!!!)
DEN over MIA (This will be my first upset of the week. DEN isn't getting the credit they deserve.)
NYG over DAL
ATL over OAK (My second upset. It is hard NOT to bet against OAK. Watch Matt Ryan light things up today. He's an under-rated QB.)
PHI over SEA
IND over NE (Peyton may actually win against the Patriots!)
WAS over PIT (Finally, a good Monday Night game!)

Enjoy football this week. Go Bears!

UIC Police & Dominick's

2008-10-29T19:46:00.001-05:00

From the same guys that brought you "I'm On My Cell Phone," here are three other videos I was able to find that are great. The first one is probably for the same class that he has at UIC.

With all that respect for UIC police, I thought it best to show this video as well.

And finally back to Terry, apparently he worked or currently works at Dominick's.

Pink 'N Knights

2008-10-28T20:24:00.003-05:00

As most of you know, I am a wedding DJ and have been for over 11 years. While most weddings are pretty standard, I have seen some pretty strange stuff. This month I seem to have gotten all of the weirdos. Now begins the first in this series of weddings that will document all the weirdness that I have experienced recently.
It was two weeks ago that I had the honor and privilege to be a DJ at Holiday Banquet. (While the pictures provided here are ones taken with my awful cell phone, feel free to click on that link to show the pride that they exhibit in their "gallery" section.) We arrived to a dark banquet room and figured we must have just been very early. So, after going back outside we realized that there was a buzzer on the main door. After alerting the "staff" that we were there, they flipped on the lights and told us we were able to load our equipment through the back door.
We moved the van around and opened the doors. We examined the route we would take and found it involved stairs preventing us from wheeling in our equipment. I took this as a sign that tonight would be a great night.
We decided that the best option would be to carry each piece in. Each of us grabbed a speaker and turned around to have a guy appear from the wooded alleyway beside the building.
"You DJ?" he asked.
"Yes. We DJ." I responded.
"You unload here?"
"Yup."
"You wait fermadug."
I looked at my assistant who shrugged his shoulders. "What?" I asked.
With a slight hint of frustration he responded, "You WAIT FERMADUG."
We nodded as he stood in between us and the building and whistled. A HUGE rottweiler with a barbed wire collar appeared from the alley and made his way into the building. We assumed that he wanted us to "wait for my dog." They disappeared into a door marked "private" and "beware of dog." This door, I have deduced, lead to their home on the property. I'm pretty sure that they live in the back. They probably have Grandma cooking her ass off each Saturday making what looked like food later on.
This was the START of the evening.
After carrying in the speakers to our "stage," we realized that there wasn't a table to place our system on. The rottweiler handler happened to be walking by when we asked for a table. "You not bring a table?" he asked us rather confused. When we responded "Nope" he rolled his eyes as if we were supposed to supply that.
A guy in an apron with long hair carried a folding table with the handler up to the stage and dropped it off. Mr. Handler took off while Mr. Apron stood next to me as we looked at the room.
The room that we were in was pink. Everywhere there was pink... and knights in armor. To go along with this theme, the bride and groom's seats were thrones. Very fitting. The walls all had mirrors from 1986 that had great designs on them. They showed off music notes, a vertical piano, a palm tree and a martini glass with a lime wedge. (Because that's how I enjoy my martini's. Keep your olives. I want a lime.)
Mr. Apron took a deep breath while taking in the room and turned to me over his shoulder and said "pretty."
"Oh yeah! I have a room in my house done up the same way."
He nodded.
"Should we expect a lot of guests?"
He nodded again. I realized now he has no idea what I am saying.
"I think that the pink and the knights are a bit much though."
He nods and smiles as he walks out of the room. Either he realizes that the Sixteen Candles motif is outdated or he fears another follow up question.
After we set up our equipment, my assistant notices that there is a red rope of lights that span the bottom of the stage we are on. "Well, hell! Plug 'em in!" I recommend. I figured when in Rome, be as tacky as the Romans are. It really put a nice touch on the whole image.
It was time to get changed out of my jeans and t-shirt so I would look very respectable for what I assumed would be a very discerning crowd. It is there that I noticed the "instillation art" that someone had placed upon the bathroom wall. Very nice. On my way back to the "stage," I couldn't help but note the Solo cups on the tables to toast the bride and groom in style.
As the bridal party was arriving, the hall made sure to plug in the trellises that framed each doorway. They had flashing white Christmas lights on them. "Perfect" I thought.
When the bride and groom arrived, I realized she was white and he was black. Plus, as the room started showing up, it was apparent that the half to my right would hate the music that I played for the half on my left and vice versa. No matter what I played, no one was going to be happy. Including me.
The night keeps getting better and better!
The bar had one bartender for the 200 people in the room. This was not a good decision. From the time the bar opened to last call, there was a constant and obscenely long line that crept onto the dance floor on more than one occasion. (Including during the bride and groom's first dance.) I guess Mr. Handler was busy not getting killed by his dog to hop back there to pull a cap or two off of some beers. It also didn't help that the bartender also spoke English as well as Mr. Apron.
The waitstaff was an interesting bunch. One kid couldn't have been more than 14 at the most! I got the notion that the completely Polish staff was probably all related. The hall/bridal couple had me assist them in cutting their cake right before soup and/or salad. This is usually a sign that they are going to serve it for desert. My assistant and I killed time during dinner sitting in the other room and making fun of things. (This is standard at weddings. The DJ will constantly make fun of everything and everyone possible. This is a HUGE part of the job description.) We opted to not dine with the guests for fear of health code violations killing us within a few days. Grandma may have made it, but it most certainly was not with love, probably with rat instead.
We get back to our DJ table, which is right next to the cake table to see that the cake was still sitting there. I nudged my assistant and pointed out that "someone has dropped the ball on this one." He nodded and smiled and we began looking around for a server to see if there was something we were missing, or instead, something they had missed. It is then that a swarm of waiters and waitresses descended upon the cake and quickly ushered it into the back. After some rather quick and dirty cutting, (I say dirty not as a part of the phrase, but due to the condition of the hall) they got the desert out nearly in time. Only 20-30 minutes late. I'm fine with this. This is a half hour that I don't have to work and if everyone around me looks bad, I don't have to try as hard to look good.
The first dances go well. We start with a slow song and then move into "Celebration" and "We Are Family" as I do at EVERY wedding. This is when one of the groom's guests graces us with her presence at our DJ table.
"When you gonna play some of our music?"
"What?" I asked.
"You know, black people music."
"I could be mistaken, but wasn't there a few black people in 'Kool N The Gang?'"
She then made some noise with her mouth, tilted her head and stormed off. Only to join us again with the beginning of the next song.
"Ya all got some booty, ghetto music?"
"Yup."
"Ya gonna play dat shit?"
"Yup."
"Next?"
"Nope."
"What you got?"
I tossed her the list of songs that the bride and groom requested.
"This it?"
"No. That is what the bride and groom want."
"You gots to be kiddin'. When you gettin' to da good shit?"
"I have some good news for you. We have 2.5 hours of dancing tonight. At some point tonight, EVERYONE'S request will be played. Give me time to make the bride and groom happy and then we will get to what you want."
"Next?"
"No."
She stormed off again. I took "Gold Digga" out of the cue list that was due up next. I told myself if she could let three songs go by without requesting one of her own, then I would play her request. I'm not a racist. I just don't like assholes.
She never let that happen.
Soon it was time for the dollar dance. If you are not familiar with this, it is the most insulting thing that a bride and groom can ever do. Everyone has assembled to celebrate their marriage. Everyone has given them a card with cash or a wedding present. The bride and groom, being the greedy bastards that they are, attempt to raise more cash by making their guests pay at least $1 for a dance with one of them.
It is during this time that I play all the boring-ass slow songs that have been requested that evening to get them out of the way. What I did here was play 5 country songs in a row. "Amazed" was played followed up by "I Hope You Dance" and "Bless This Broken Road." It was right around this time that my "Gold Digga" friend gathered up her group and headed for the door. I'm not too sure why. My assistant was outside smoking at this point and hurried back in to let me know what occurred past the doors.
Apparently her friends were trying to convince her to give them her keys due to her great and apparent intoxication.
"No, I's fine."
"Well, at least let us take your drink from your hand before you get to your car."
"I'm gonna finish it!"
They then proceeded to play a CD in the parking lot and dance to that. Which is perfectly fine, because when you attend someone's wedding it is all about getting your favorite song(s) played, not the celebration of their union.
The remainder of the evening was decent. Nothing else of mention occurred other than the bride saying that we "made her night" and that "we did better than expectations." I was surprised, because I thought the evening kinda sucked. However, her perception was all that mattered. I had hoped that her great opinion of the evening would equate to a tip. In hind-sight, I'm glad that I didn't get my hopes up too high.
I guess most people don't realize that the DJ is a part of the service industry (like waiters, movers, valet, etc.) and get tipped. If you drop $1200 on a wedding for the DJ, I expect AT LEAST $100 from you. That isn't even 10%!
Yet, when you have a country-filled dollar dance surrounded by used Solo cups and knights in shinning armor, I can't expect that much from you.

I'm On My Cell Phone

2008-10-28T11:02:00.004-05:00

A co-worker of mine did this for a project in college. It is hysterical. I must warn you, the song will get stuck in your head. There is no way around it. However, you will be ok with it after you see this video.

A White Sox Victory Without Playing

2008-10-26T20:00:00.002-05:00

Nearly two months ago, I was on the Southside of Chicago. It was Friday, September 12 and I was joined by a dozen other people to tailgate for The Chicago White Sox vs. The Detroit Tigers. We drove up to the stadium EXTREMELY early to get to the park by 10 am. The reason for this is so that we could go on a tour of U.S. Cellular Field. What a great experience. Next season, I recommend that every baseball (Sox) fan goes on this tour. I was expecting $30-$50 a person. Nope. Only $5 to take the tour. Plus all the money goes to White Sox Charities which helps out under-privileged children in the area.
So, I got to sit in the dugout where Ozzy yells at people and chews on sunflower seeds. It was a great start to the day.
However, at this point a mist filled the air that looked threatening enough to develop into actual rain. After my many trips to Da Cell that year with inclumate weather looming, it always cleared up by the time the first pitch was tossed out. Surely this would be one of those times.
After a quick adventure on the Red Line into the city to pick up the remainder of the supplies necessary for tailgating, we were back in the parking lot under the sign that can be seen from the Dan Ryan.
We had hot dogs and hamburgers. We even had steak. We drank Miller Light and Apple Pie Shots (Thank you, Sarah!) We played bags or stayed under the trees when the rain really picked up.
With determination that God would not let Da Sox (His favorite team) to be rained out, we marched to the field that we had behind-the-scenes access to earlier that day. We paused for a moment at the 2005 World Series Championship monument (as every true fan should do before each Sox victory.)
It is there that we met up with three of my other friends, Dan, Tatiana and Liz.
After getting our Official, Limited-Edition 2008 Halfway to St. Patrick's Day White Sox Hat at the gates, we went on a quest for the Miller Lite Sports Deck to fulfill a tradition started at the beginning of the season. Should Marcus and I have a tall Miller Lite as soon as we enter the field, Da White Sox win. However, because our friend Josh had too much fun awaiting the game, he needed assistance to his seat by Marcus.
Irregardless, the quest for the deck went on with me and three others. The winding ramps and escalators all blended together and the passageway to the sports deck which was once easily found was extremely illusive.
With the game about to start, we ventured up to our seats and gave up on tradition. We climbed nearly 3 hours to get to our seats at the very top of the stadium. (We could see three separate states from where we sat.) Halfway through the announcement of our team, the game went on rain delay.
This opened up the opportunity to search for the sports deck again. This quest was mainly fueled by the fact that half of our party was already down there. After getting my tall Miller Lite, things felt as if they were beginning to look up. Alas, I was mistaken.
Not even halfway through my Miller Lite I was taking part of my first ever rain cancellation in my many years as a White Sox fan. How very depressing. I hadn't even had an opportunity to have a ball-park dog yet. Let alone enjoy a brat or Polish sausage!
I couldn't stand by this. The three who had joined me on my quest to enjoy 24 oz of Miller Lite in one sitting still had enough adventure surging through their veins to sneak onto the 100 level to get the best brats and Polish sausages in the entire ballpark at The Straightaway Cafe under the bar in center field.
These cylindrical meals of goodness are made by God Himself and handed to you by Jesus. "Enjoy, my son." One of the participants in this expedition was my Second City friend Liz who has a website that talks about food and stuff. Click here for her take on the best bratwurst in the city. (She has a great value in my refined palate.)
While we were all soaked and disappointed that the day ended without the expected White Sox win, it still was a good day to catch up with old friends and hang out with new ones. The comradery enjoyed by everyone there was apparent and appreciated. Plus, our tickets are still valid for next season, so it won't be a total loss. (Like The Cubs in the postseason!)

The Others In Week 8

2008-10-26T11:33:00.003-05:00

This is always a weird week for me. I look forward to it as I do every Sunday in football, yet, not with the same excitement as the others. There is football to be played, just not Bears football. While they take a breather, I will as well. Instead of being glued to the TV while I live and die with each down, I will probably get some much needed grading done while the game is on in the background.
Everyone enjoy the week off while we watch the "others" in the league.

BAL over OAK
CAR over AZ
TB over DAL
WAS over DET (Won't find your first win here, Detroit!)
MIA over BUF (I feel good about this upset. Not sure why. Oh yeah, due to bye weeks, I have Williams and Pennington playing this week. Damnit!)
STL over NE (Another upset. STL is on a roll and NE is rolling down the hill.)
SD over NO (In England, you have to factor in the Crumpet Factor. Plus, "I can't wait to see the Eifel Tower!")
NYJ over KC
PHI over ATL
JAX over CLE
TEX over CIN (Where have you gone, Pennington?!)
PIT over NYG (Should be a great match-up!)
SF over SEA (Sunday Night Game is this crap? It is starting. I expect the last half of the season to be dripping with mediocrity.)
TEN over IND (A no-brainer. I don't care what anyone says about Peyton + Monday Night = Victory.)

That's it for this week. Short and sweet. Enjoy your football.

The Whitest Kids U' Know

2008-10-25T13:16:00.002-05:00

Set your Tivos to record this show. It can be found on IFC (Channel 550 on Direct TV) MUCH better than any other sketch comedy show that I have ever seen.
Granted, not all are winners and some are just strange, but each episode they hit one out of the park. Here is just one of their sketches:

Important News

2008-10-22T18:04:00.000-05:00

Coming soon - Wedding Extravaganza! There have been SO many wedding I have been a part of in the past few weeks (Working and as a guest) and they will all be re-capped in one big post.

The rained-out White Sox game that I went to was documented. Info and links on that.

Finally, the most important news of all, a good friend of mine (and one of the 8 readers of this blog), Eric is undergoing surgery on Friday. Please keep him and his family in your prayers. He should be ok, but let's collectively make sure.

Stay tuned.

Tiger Buys Food Too!

2008-10-22T13:48:00.005-05:00

I'm at Jewel Food Store last night buying some essentials. I got some spaghetti and sauce. Some milk, eggs, cereal and English muffins. You know, the essentials. Nothing big. I was out of there with less than $30 worth of stuff.

However, as I leave there is a small Asian man at the door with his cart right up against the entrance to the exit. (You know, where they have the guide rails in betwee

n the entrance doors and the exit doors?)

His cart was there and he was a few steps behind it facing the window that looked out onto the parking lot. Was he checking his receipt for accuracy? Was he awaiting a ride? Making sure that it wasn't raining before getting out of the store?

Nope. He was practicing his golf swing... without a club.

I decided within a nano-second of evaluating the situation I was n

ot going to confront this guy and just nudge his cart out of the way and keep on going. However, when he saw me coming, he quickly dropped his imaginary club and shuffled out the door in front of me.

As the automatic door swung open for him, he cried out "Million dollar golfer!"

Why me? Why always me?

2008-10-20T08:46:00.000-05:00

Let's see...

Dems say "Give mortgages to those who can't afford it."
Repubs say "That isn't a good idea. We recommend that not happen."
Dems say "But, we will have a VERY pretty 'Housing bubble!'"
Repubs say "It's going to burst."

Then the housing market tumbles. The bubble bursts.
The market holds for a little while, then falls with it.
The biggest hurt were (obviously) the lenders forced to give homes to those without credit, and in some cases, without citizenship.

The Dems and Repubs get together and give $700 BILLION to companies that failed. Letting all big companies know that they don't have to be responsible for their mistakes as long as they are big enough and important enough for the country. Or, maybe it was just that the congress (who has the lowest approval rating in the history of the country at 9%... has Bush ever been that low? No.) felt guilty about forcing their hand in putting that chained pen in the hands of those they knew couldn't pay for the loan.

Who recommended all of this? It doesn't matter. Let's focus on the solution, not the problem. I heard a quote recently that said it was as if we had "hired the arsonist who burned down our home to rebuild it." Good analogy, but not great. It is more like giving a monkey a gun and then once the shooting is over, a scalpel to be the surgeon on call.

Maybe there is a reason why in some polls that voters feel that McCain is better suited to handle the economy than Obama. Check out what I posted in AUGUST - LONG before all of this came to a head!

Dems say they can handle the economy.
Dems make illogical moves to prove that they are incapable of currently handling the economy.
Dems ruin the economy.
Obama (D) says that he can handle the economy.
Seems logical to give him the reigns.
That way he can work together with a highly respected democratic congress (9%) to solve our issues in the best way possible - illogically.