Cuisines, Pizza - What?

Another weird-ass wedding two weekends ago. With all the 2008 re-cap going on, I didn't have a chance to let you know about it.
The bride and groom were both frigid. And at the end of the night, she was pretty drunk. So much so that we ended a half hour early. (Honestly, I enjoy having a good time as next as the other guy, but I'm not going to be drunk and miss an important day like my wedding. How pathetic.)
I started off the wedding with my regular set. I was told that the bride and groom had specifically asked me not to play the first two songs. I looked through my list of music and noticed that their "do not play" list was completely empty. I was confused. Had the office forgotten to include that? I went to ask them.
The bride pointed to a footnote that said that she didn't want any interaction for fear that her wedding would become like the bar mitzvah that she had experienced with our company a few months prior. I became even more confused.
I asked her what that had to do with the music that I was playing. She then let me know that I shouldn't play anything that would be played at a bar mitzvah. I must have looked as confused as I really was because she followed it up with "Have you even been to a bar mitzvah?"
The way she said it put me on the defensive. "No. I haven't. I've DJed nearly 12 years of solely weddings and corporate parties. Not once have I DJed or attended a bar or bat mitzvah." She gave an aggravated huff and asked me if I had gotten her list of suggested songs. I said I did and that I would just stick to that for the rest of the evening.
As I walked away she said "You don't have to do that. Just don't play anything that would be played at a mitzvah!" I thought I had made it clear that I have NO IDEA what the hell she was talking about. But, I figured that if I slipped up, they wouldn't fear coming over to let me know. I started by playing three of her awful requests in a row and they got mixed results. No way as good as the "mitzvah songs" that I had played earlier, but not bad.
She seemed happy, which is all that matters.
They gave a generic and empty "Thank you." to us at the end of the night. I don't care. Whether they are happy or not, I get paid the same.
What was unique about this evening was not the bride and groom, the guests or even the staff. It was the surroundings. First, it was where I worked at an insurance company for 8 hours a day sorting claims in 2002. Nothing but bad memories from that place. The insurance company had since moved out and a prominent national bakery company had moved in.
The wedding took place in the cafeteria. Now, it is not a bad place and actually has a simple elegance to it. It is not the linoleum floors that we imagine with the word "cafeteria." However, there was a food serving section that the employees would go through to get their food and then pay for it on their way to the cafeteria.
This section was closed off and all the food removed. However, we stored our empty equipment boxes back there. This is where we noticed the signs that they had as options for the employee's lunches. These are their options:












































Action? Really? That's an option?

"Bill, what did you have for lunch?"
"Well, I was going to get some Pizza. Instead I decided to get some Action."
"Huh, me too. It usually seems more appetizing."
"I don't understand how Jim is able to get some Cuisine AND some Action in the same sitting."
"You think he would be too full from the Cuisine to get some Action."

One sign that I wish I had gotten a picture of, but didn't was "Links." This must be for the morning crowd who are looking for some breakfast. They must keep their sausage links there.
If that is the case, though, why have it called "Links?" Are there other types of Links that I am unaware of?
Oh well. Another Saturday. Another grouping of weirdness.