Week 2 Picks

MIN over DET
TEN over TX
ATL over CAR
NO over PHI (First upset of the week)
JAX over ARI
OAK over KC (The first - who cares game - of the season!)
GB over CIN (It's a shame, but true.)
NYJ over NE (Upset number two.)
WASH over STL
TB over BUF
SEA over SF (Upset three!)
BAL over SD
DEN over CLE
CHI over PIT (PLEASE?! Although, PIT is 9-1 at Chicago in their past 10 meetings)
DAL over NYG (OOOH! A good NFL primetime game? Who knew they could do it?! This should be a good one tonight.)
IND over MIA (I spoke too soon.)

Week One!

It has been WAY too long. So much has happened to tell you about. Plus I just did another weird-ass wedding last night. All this and more in the next few days.
Until then, it is that time of year again - Football Season!
Here are my picks for the first week:

PIT over TEN
DAL over TB
NO over DET
JAX over IND (Upset one)
HOU over NYJ
MIN over CLE (MIN is going to be rough this year. But, not as bad as GB.)
DEN over CIN (Upset two!)
PHI over CAR
BAL over KC
ATL over MIA
SEA over STL
NYG over WASH
ARI over SF
CHI over GB (Shouldn't be an upset, but it is!)
NE over BUF
SD over OAK

SD and OAK as a Monday night game?! How lame. The NFL is starting to disappoint early on this year.
Have a great football season!

First Climate Change Prediction That Came True!

Recently our out-of-control government has suggested something that I predicted almost two years ago to the date. (Kind of scary, right?)
First, the Democrats have spent a great deal of time talking about how awful America is and how we are responsible for "climate change." It is due to our awful use of carbon that we are solely responsible for this extreme disruption in the Earth's climate. When in reality, this couldn't be further from the truth.
What this will allow, however is for the left to make some money off the paranoia of the ignorant. Carbon credits go into the pockets of the Democrats that sold you the Snake Oil in the first place. This scare will also allow them to control the industry of the greatest nation in the world. If you don't play ball, you must pay us in their new "Cap And Tax" scheme. (Click here for their propaganda. And click here for an accurate opinion of it.)
Like I said, two years ago I predicted this. I have never re-posted anything before, but I think that this is important enough to be said twice considering today's environment of increasing spending and ignorance. Here is the original article that I published on this very blog on 07-09-07:


This weekend on 7-7-7, Al Gore and friends put on some big concerts with big name acts. They did this to raise awareness of Global Warming and Greenhouse Gases. It all seemed very legit and concerning. After all was said and done, they probably all patted themselves on the back for a job well done.
What they failed to tell the general population was that Global Warming is a bunch of crap. The Chicago Sun Times (of all papers) printed an article yesterday that points out many of the falsehoods of Al Gore's stance on this issue. It offers many direct correlations to the claims that he has made in his (Oscar-winning) movie and why they are false. To read the article, I encourage you to click here.
First, Gore and friends make a big deal out of Carbon Dioxide (CO2) emissions. However, these are not that big of a deal. Over the last 100 years, the level of CO2 has increased by 25 percent. While the greenhouse effect has increased around one percent. Since the beginning of the industrial age, CO2 went from 280 parts per million (ppm) to 365 ppm. (Prehistoric CO2 levels changed 100 million years ago they weren't 365 ppm, but instead 3,000-5,000 ppm. Plant and animal life was VERY abundant.) The main increase of CO2 occurred before 1940. Humans put seven billion tons of CO2 into the atmosphere each year. Nature does 200 billion tons in a year. Since then the increase in cars and global industry should have created a larger increase in the atmosphere's CO2. Instead, the results are not there. Where could it have gone? Several experts are suggesting that it is absorbed by plants for photosynthesis and the oceans. Dutch greenhouses, for example, routinely and deliberately triple their CO2 levels and crops respond with 20 to 40 percent yield increases. More than a thousand experiments with 475 crop plant varieties in 29 separate countries show that doubling the world's carbon dioxide would raise crop yields 52 percent. A raise in CO2 may be extremely beneficial for the global environment.
If there is a greenhouse effect, the main contributor would be water vapor. You do more damage to the environment boiling some hot dogs than you do driving your car.
Some feel that global warming may be a good thing. Between 900 ad and 1300 ad, the earth warmed by 4-7 degrees Fahrenheit. (We have increased global temperature roughly .5 degrees Celsius) This is almost exactly what the "computer models" are predicting for the 21st century. Written and oral history tells us that the warming created one of the most favorable periods in human history. Crops were plentiful, death rates diminished and trade and industry expanded while art and architecture flourished.
Food production soured because winters were milder and growing seasons were longer. There were less floods and droughts. Human death rates declined, partly because of the decrees in hunger and partly because people spent less time in damp, smoke-filled hovels that encourage the growth and spread of tuberculosis and other infectious diseases.
Thus, we can cast aside the forecast that global warming will bring more drought and expanding deserts. Modest warming would help crops, not hinder them. There is virtually no place on Earth too hot or humid to grow rice, cassava, sweet potatoes or plantains.
Another thing that most people don't seem to piece together is that THE EARTH GOES THROUGH CYCLES. Everything has a cycle, the rotation of the earth, its revolution, the moon, EVERYTHING. We have had ice ages in the past. We've had incredible heat in the past. 150,000 years ago the earth was extremely warm. (MUCH more than what Gore and others are predicting for the next 100 years.) There we saw the greatest boom in plant and animal life.
Climate modelers and the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) predict that one of the consequences of global warming will be rising sea levels due to thermal expansion of ocean water mass and the melting of non-polar glaciers. They claim that the oceans already have risen 18 cm during the 20th century with an annual rate of 1.8 mm per year. They feel that the oceans will rise approximately a further 50 cm during the 21st century, an accelerated annual rate of 5 mm per year.
Sea levels have been rising at varying rates since before the end of the last ice age 11,000 years ago. Long before any man made global warming is claimed to have begun. Sea level rise over short periods is EXTREMELY difficult to determine, but it is believed that the rate of sea level rise has not increased over the past century when man made global warming is claimed to have occurred. If it has, it's rise is not of major proportion.
So, CO2 is no big deal. Global warming may actually be a good thing. The earth is going through a climate cycle and we have nothing to do with it. There is no solid evidence of the sea levels changing drastically.
So what? It is apparent that global warming is a bunch of crap. But, what difference does that make to us? It will very soon if scared politicians have their way.
The rhetoric spewed out from the liberal media and through the global efforts or Gore and friends has caused unnecessary panic. Thus, we hear about "carbon footprints" and how websites will take donations to plant trees to off-set your damage to the environment.
What do the politicians have in store for us? It will cost us all. Barack Obama is planning on having industry reduce it's greenhouse emissions. Sounds great, right? This over-haul of industry will create greater price for product and eventually trickle down to the average consumer. (Read more about Obama's environmental stance here.)
Hillary is a little more vague on the issue, but her website does say: "Hillary recognizes that global climate change is one of the most pressing moral issues of our time. She supports policies to reduce carbon emissions and other pollution that contribute to global warming." (Read more here.) She has a video on there that I am unable to listen to because I don't have speakers, but I'm imaging that it is great.
New Jersey's state legislature on Friday mandated that New Jersey reduce greenhouse gases by 16 percent by 2020 and 80 percent by 2050. The governor of NJ was quoted as saying "We want to send a message to Washington. Wake up, get with the program and start doing something about greenhouse gases," Corzine told reporters at Giants Stadium on the eve of former Vice President Al Gore's international Live Earth concerts." This according to an article that was released today. Soon business will leave that state. We will see the economic effects of this choice very shortly as well. (Read the article here.)
The republicans are falling for this too. The Bush administration is expected to have some environmental bills passed before President George W. Bush leaves office in 2009.
This may soon escalate into an increase on taxes on energy to prevent us from using it so much. You will be paying MORE for gas and electricity. You will be essentially FINED because of all the fear that is being unnecessarily stirred up in Washington.
So, let your congressman (or congresswoman) know that Al Gore is full of crap and you don't want to have to put up with his BS any more. You do not wish any more legislation on greenhouse gases or global warming. While it is important to respect the earth, it is irresponsible to go as far as the environmentalists are taking this. The only exhaust and emissions to be concerned about come from their mouths.

Research done from the following articles: (These articles were also quoted, for more information on where and how much, please contact the author of this blog)

"Air Pollution Does Not Cause Global Warming" - by Jocelyn Tomkin
"The New American: Another Side To Global Warming" - by Dennis Behreandt
"The Effects Of Global Warming Will Be Beneficial" - by Dennis T. Avery
"Claims That Sea Levels Are Rising Are Unproven" - by John L. Daly



That was the article from two years ago. Am I 100% correct? I doubt it. No one should ever say they are 100% correct on a theory. If they do, then their credibility is in doubt. Am I closer to the truth than most people? Of course.
With this being said, I am open to comments on the topic. Let me know your thoughts and we will compare notes. This goes for whether you see things my way or the other way. Either way, we need to wake up and do something about the exploitation of the ignorance of the common American before it is too late.

30

In a little more than a month, I will be 30. It seems like it is such a milestone. I know that I'm supposed to be frightened of it, but I'm not. I hear that a great deal of soul-searching goes along with the date. I know that a guy from work turned 30 a few months ago and it was a very sad occasion. He said that he wasn't where he wanted to be in life. He was living paycheck to paycheck working at a job that he didn't like. He was qualified to do more in life, but wasn't doing it. He was single and living with a friend.
It sounds a lot like what I may be doing. I'm working a job (several) that I don't like in order to pay my bills and get by. I don't have a wife and kids, instead I have a friend who shares a two-bedroom apartment with me.
But, what if that is where I'm supposed to be right now? Who knows? What if what I'm supposed to do in the future hinders on where I am today? Who am I to say what God has in store for me?
I will not be down. I will rejoice that I have made it 30 years on this planet with only a few broken bones and with a great deal of remarkable friendships and great joy from my family and accomplishments. I have a college degree. I am doing things that I want to do in addition to things that I need to do. I feel I have a healthy balance on the two.
While I'm not living the most comfortable of lives, I am living one that I'm comfortable with.
For my 30th I almost arranged a trip up to Toronto for their "BeerFest" next month. When I factored in the cost of air fare, hotel and the daily passes, it would run about $1000. Plus, I would need to get my passport renewed. When I really thought about it, very few of my friends would be able to drop $1000 just to join me on my 30th.
So, I scrapped that idea.
Instead I'm thinking of a two pronged attack. One being to travel down to Effingham to visit my friends down there. While there going on the Official Effingham Bar Crawl with some of the "city folk" from up here that are willing to take the trek down. Also, we could check out the Effingham County Fair with it's country acts, rodeo and truck pulls. (I would REALLY dig doing that!)
Then do something up here like a suite at the White Sox and then drinks locally with those who couldn't make it out.
At least, that's the plan for now. Should anyone have any thoughts, let me know.

My Own TextsFromLastNight

One of my new obsessions is a site that I have discussed before known as http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/. If you haven't checked it out by now, I sincerely suggest you do so.
While you are there, you will notice that there is a way to submit your own on the right. I have attempted to do this with several of the texts that I have sent to or received from friends. Instead, they have gone unnoticed (except for one) from the screeners of the site. So, after coping with my rejection, I decided to post them here. No names have been used to protect the far-from-innocent.

A) I'm HUNGRY!
B) There's an ap for that

A) You are in Detroit in a Hawks Jersey as the Wings are about to lose? You're insane. You are going to be killed!
B) Redwings fans are p_ _sies so I'll be fine.
A) I just read that Detroit has guns now.
B) S_ _ T GUNS?!?!?!?! F_ _ kin Obama
(Time passes and the game ends)
A) PIT WINS! PIT WINS! Now is the time for you to RUN!
B) Noit yeyt
A) RUN! RUN! RUN!
B) Everyone is going home oh no dontr fo yerty thye party is judty started
A) You are going to die.
B) I just askrd this goirl if I could see her red wing.
A) And...?
B) still waiting!
A) Tell her you know The John Mc. and that he has even been to your house.
(Time passes)
A) Did it work?
B) She has a tongue ring!
A) Keep me updated.
(More time passes.)
A) Well?
B) Hammered and alone in hotel room

From my co-worker in the bathroom at the restaurant: A) Take 30's order, im puking lol
(30 is a reference to table 30 in the restaurant. My favorite part of that one is the "lol" at the end of it. He claims that it was genuine. This despite the fact that he didn't get out of the bathroom for roughly 2-3 hours after that text and I had to cover his entire section.)

A) iat fridays now drinking since 5 I'm such a lush.
(This was sent at 7:21 that day. She had been drinking since 2, not 5. She drank until 2 AM that night. She got kicked out of the restaurant that we all work at right after she struck up a conversation with our boss as if she had no idea who the boss was. It was a bad scene.)

For this next one, you need to know that was have $4 drink specials on Sundays as a part of a "Stimulus Package" at work. We make fun of them often.

A) FO DAHLAHZ!
B) Lol STIMULUS!
A) Stimulify dat echonamy, biznitch!
B) Lmfao. Thats our new motto
A) The video is now up online.
(That's the video you see above.)
B) From last night?
A) No. The one from your screen test during your interview at _______ (The name of the restaurant where we work)
B) Oh thank god. My screen test i cried and i think i peed a little lol
A) It happens to the best of us. Just not me.
B) Lol it will
A) Are you now able to tell the future like Paul Mooney?!
B) Negrodamus
A) I was going to let you say it because I can't. You know, being white and all.
B) I know.

A) _______ has found a girl who just told him that she has a stripper pole in her bedroom. He is making good progress, but could still use your prayers.
B) Done.
A) _______ appreciates your support.

A) How's the new job?
B) I hate it.no floor plan,you check out w an atm machine,its disgusting,no one will pick up a shift unless u pay them,we got a drag queen and another server stabbed a guy on the greenline.
A) Sounds lovely.

A) What was her dad doing on CBS Morning news with her? Did you see that?
B) I think her dad is border line retarded

A) You never know when Ghosts will be following you around. Constantly take pictures and look for those orbs.
B) Omg I f'ing hate u

A) Trivia tonight?
B) Fo Sho
A) Ok. We'll be there.
B) Thanks for the warning.
A) Maybe we won't be going, then!
B) Sounds like someone needs to switch out their tampon.
A) You're an ass.
B) Sounds like someone can't take a joke.
A) Not funny. jus wait till later haha
B) Because you can't think of anything to say now?
A) Haha ya

A) I?m in sioux city. CALL ME my phone will not be in service much longer.

A) Get out here. You are a lazy-ass bastard!
B) No just one hungover bastard. I fell in a bush last night and was blackout hammered at the wedding reception.
A) You went to a wedding reception after your adventure in Detroit?
B) Yeah open bar with my buddy Mr. Beam. In addition to letting every Wing fan that it was awesomethey lost. Oh and flirted with a few.
B) But told her I don't bang ugly girls.

A) Dude hammered thinking of old females...... then wanna break shit mode. Luckily no civilians around to die.

A) You commin' out to $1 drink night?
B) As tempting as that is I will have to decline. I've been neglecting the couch. By the way I might be high but I think the girls in front of me art talking 3 way

A) This is perfect fishing weather.
B) Big time
A) We should go sometime.
B) Right now?
A) No. Soon.
B) Soon.


There ya have it. Those are some of the more recent gems. I may have done the one about the dad on TV before, but I liked it so much I posted it again. Before you ask, I didn't go to Detroit and yes, the last one was a continuation (if you will) of one from two nights prior.
If you have some good ones, post them as comments on here.

Good-Bye, Old Friend

This is it.
I must say good-bye to an old friend.
I am selling my Chrysler LeBaron convertible.
This car has taken me to Effingham and back. (Every weekend for the better part of three years!) It has been featured in Effingham's Sesquicentennial Celebration (The town's 150th birthday). The convertible aspect as allowed me to show many ladies the stars over the years.
Yet, unfortunately I must now give the car away to a good home.
Here is the link to the Craig's List ad that I have put up. I wanted to let the loyal readers (both of you) of this blog to have the opportunity to own such an important piece of history.

Click here for all of the details.

I need to sell it fast and am asking for your help. If you or someone you know is looking for a car, please have them check it out. I am making appointments all the time!

Thanks! (And, yes. That's an actual photo of the car!)

Serving Rant

I am not a fan of waiting tables. Not at all.
Why do I do it? I certainly don't do it for the money, the prestige or the birthday songs. I do it because I enjoy the people that I work with. (Even the ones dating an accused murderer, sometimes.)
At the restaurant, they encourage us to call each customer "guest." I'm guessing it is because some focus group somewhere found the term "guest" was warmer and more personable than "customer" and they thought that the restaurant would get more repeat business if we approached each customer with this mindset. I, however, won't be doing this today. Mainly because the a-holes that I will be disgusing in this rant would NEVER be welcome in my home.
In every job, there are things that tick me off. The main thing about waiting tables is tips. Now, I have lucked out. I have been working in the service industry for over three years (two separate restaurants) and have only been stiffed roughly 6-7 times. However, this doesn't include the awful tips that sometimes get left.
Let me explain to you why tips are so very important. Obviously, the more money you tip, the more money goes to the server. That is an equation that everyone can figure out. However, what most people don't understand is that the server is working for LESS THAN Minimum wage. That's right. LESS THAN! Most servers make roughly $4 an hour. Why is this legal? It is because the government assumes that the server is not an idiot and can make up the remainder of the minimum wage from the tables they help. Plus the government assumes that the kindness of strangers will pay your rent. It usually does. What also happens is that at the end of the night, we have to tip out 3% of our total sales. 1% goes to the bussers who clean the tables. 1% goes to the bartenders who make the drinks. (This is 1% of everything, not just liquor sales, which I think is B.S. because what the hell does the bartender have to do with the chicken fingers that I served?!) and the final 1% goes to the hosts. Why we tip them out is beyond me, they are mostly morons who are too dumb to be able to handle a mindless job like waiting tables. Most of the time they can't even count to get the seating plan correct. But, that is a whole different rant.
Let me show you how easy it is to figure out your tip. If you can multiply by two, you can figure this out. You take the total of your bill and ignore everything after the decimal. If your bill is $15, then you double that. You get $30. Thus, your tip should be $3. If your bill is $55, double that. Your tip should be.... $11. See how easy that is?
Yet there are some people that have issues with that. OR you have the idiots that carry that tip card around with them so that they can figure it out to the penny. Don't worry about change - EVER. All it does is accumulate on my dresser. (Unless you want to toss me some quarters. I'm cool with quarters because I have laundry to do.)
There are other people that leave $5. NO MATTER WHAT THEIR BILL IS - $5. On a $20 bill, $5 is appreciated. On a $50 bill, it is frowned upon. On a $100 bill - you are getting your licence plate written down and I will come find you at your job and get your cheep-ass fired so you have no income to go out to restaurants ever again. Enjoy your Ramon noodles, bitch.
Right now, in order to bring in more customers, my restaurant is offering "buy one entree, get one entree free" coupons. Really? You have to be kidding me. This does bring in more customers, but it hurts our tips greatly. Let me explain.
Let us say that you and your friend have each ordered $20 meals. Your bill (if we keep this simple and take out appetizers, drinks and tax) would be $40. With the coupon, you would only have $20 left. You should still tip me on the $40. Give me AT LEAST the $8 that is due to me. I did 100% of my job. Just because you paid 50% doesn't mean you should tip me 50%. PLUS I have to tip out on the whole amount. Remember that 3% I mentioned earlier? That is on th $40 not on the $20. So, my tip is even LOWER thanks to these dumbass coupons.



Being a server makes you a racist. It does. I won't go into it, but what I will say is that the racist thoughts are shared with all servers irregardless of the race of the server. Everyone knows it, yet they can't discuss it at work or they risk being fired.
It sucks, I know. I treat all my tables the same, because on occasion you will find someone who wishes to live above the stereotype. Unfortunately, they are few and far between.
Tables that ask if there are "free refills" you know are not going to tip you well. If right off the bat you are proving that you are a cheep-ass, then we know that you are going to give only 10% or less on your bill.
If you run my ass off, I know that I'm not going to get a good tip from you. Logic would say that the inverse is true. Not so. If I drop off the food and one of the people at the table asks for a side of ranch, I smile (like I care) and run to the back to pester the cooks for the side of ranch that you should have asked for when you originally placed your order. The cooks are running around making meals for the entire restaurant. Most people don't realize that this could take a moment for them to stop what they are doing so they can put a bit of ranch in a cup for the customer that lacks fore-sight.
Should I return to your table with your precious dollop of ranch and another member of your table also asks for a side they neglected to order, not only am I pissed now because I have to go all the way back to the kitchen, ask for everyone to stop what they are doing once again and then bring it back to the woman who shouldn't be asking for more dressing ANYWAY, but I know that I'm not going to get tipped on this table.
Why? My theory is this. They don't get it. They don't see us handing multiple tables at the same time. Refills for this table, ordering for this table, check drop off at this table, sides for this one. Constant running. These people who run you don't see that they are not the only ones in the restaurant. I did not drive a half hour to work just to wait on you. (And if I did, I would expect your tip to AT LEAST cover my gas consumption on this hour-long round-trip!) I came in to work today to make money from every table that I am asked to help.



One other group of people that aggravate the F___ out of me is the indecisive. If you haven't made up your mind - FINE! When I ask "Are we ready to go?" Don't say yes and then say "I haven't really decided what I want." What part of my question was confusing? It is one thing if you are between two items and are asking for my opinion. (What I like is when I recommend option A over B and they look at the menu, thank me then pick option B. What was that? That some stupid power trip mind screw that you just pulled? If you don't want to use my opinion, then why the hell did you ask me in the first place?!) I get it. If you are close, then fine. But when you say that you are ready and you are not, you are wasting my time. More importantly you are wasting the time of all the other tables that I'm supposed to be helping. Out of the corner of my eye I see the 8 year-old at the table next you polish off his 12th Dr. Pepper that I could be refilling. I see the old people in the other direction finish looking at the desert menu with their selection in mind. I see the table behind me getting sat with a family of 5 with a high chair. All the while YOU CAN'T MAKE UP YOUR MIND! Release me. Let me take care of the other tables and I will be back to you in 3 minutes or less. By then you should have been able to make it through the entire menu several times. (Well, if you got help with the big words like "cheeseburger.")
At this point, I usually say something like "I can come back to you in a moment or two when you are ready." I have learned to not wait for a response. Because the indecisive are sure about one thing at this moment - they will "be ready in just a second." NO. NO YOU WON'T! I have been down this road before. The old people are getting impatient and want their cheesecake. The family behind me are looking for their server and are about to complain to management that no one has helped me and that little brat is banging his empty cup on the table in search of more Dr. Pepper!
What is just as bad are the cell phone users or the mumblers. I put these people in the same category because they are both capable of communication, but are not willing to do so. If I come up to your table and you are on the cell phone, what I used to do is patiently wait until you tell whoever is on the other line to hold while you make your order. Now I look at your eyes and then walk away. You know that I was there to help you out, but you are on the phone. I then don't come back up until you are off the phone. At the very core of what you are doing, it is rude and I won't tolerate it.
I also don't understand the mothers that come in with their kids and the kids have to occupy themselves with the crayons and placentas while mom is on the phone. Going out to eat should be a bonding experience for families. You shouldn't be talking about who did who over the weekend in front of your 3 year old anyway, you poor excuse for a parent. Put down the damn phone and talk to your kid before he grows up to be a thief because you didn't talk to him enough. I also have had it with the mumblers. If you place your order and I can't hear you, what I used to do was lean in and say "I'm sorry, what was that?" and really work with you. Now I lean back and say "I can't hear you."
"Oh, yeah, I want a cheeseburger."
"That comes with lettuce, pickle, onion and tomato."
"Aw, nofremblkake."
"What was that? I couldn't catch that."
"No pickles."
(I then start messing with you.)
"So that's lettuce, onion and tomato."
"Uh, slfcowhcqie."
"You are going to have to speak up."
"Uh, yeah."
"Any soup or salad to start?"
"Um, slehiwergonewasdoifweoihoigh4htaohgoihweoithhtew."
"Was there a number 4 in there? I didn't get any of that. Please repeat it." (at this point, usually the others at the table are just as aggravated with the mumbler as I am.)
"No."
"Great. I'm going to get that started."





After serving for as long as I have, you begin to notice personality types. I can (usually) within 30 seconds of talking to a table tell you what kind of tippers they are. Now, this doesn't mean that they won't always tip. Let me explain. Some people are just nice people. They are easy to get along with and are out to a restaurant for a change of pace. They are out to enjoy themselves with their families. This is the ideal situation. Very little effort is necessary here. Joke around a bit with mom and dad, call the kids sir and ma'am and you have it in the bag.
Then you have the people who have had a stressful day and are not in the best of moods. This can go either way. This is what separates the good servers from the bad servers. You can either make their day worse or better. It is up to how things go and you pray that the kitchen or the idiots that run your food don't mess anything up. Because, should the slightest mistake occur, all your hard work goes down the drain. However, these tables bring the greatest reward if you can turn their day around.
Then you have the sadistic bastards that come in that are at a restaurant NOT to have a good time with their families, but (I believe) because there is a place where they can order someone around. Perhaps something happened to them in their childhood or they have a boss that really brow-beats them. Whatever it is, it isn't my fault. Don't think that you can take it out on me. If you dish it, I will smile my biggest sarcastic smile and ask "Is there anything else I can do for you?" You won't be able to rattle me. If you have come in to piss me off, I will turn the tables and have you feeling worse when you leave. These people will pay for their piss-poor attitudes once Jesus calls them over on judgement day.
"Why am I not going to heaven?" They will ask wondering what they did wrong.
Jesus will reply "You were a jerk-face to that server. That is what pushed you over the end. If it wasn't for that, you'd be in. You will now spend an eternity fetching ranch from a kitchen that is too far."
I see this as part sociology experiment. I am a good judge of character and have become better thanks to this job. For example, I have recently been wondering why is it that the bigger the customer the smaller the tip? I really don't get this. I have a theory on this expressed by the following video:




What I like is when our dumb-ass hosts try to seat these people in the booths. Look, when you are halved by the table, perhaps you should start walking more. Oh, and SIT AT A DAMN TABLE!!!
Now, with all this being said, a healthy majority of customers are great people. They come in to have a good time and a good experience and don't want to make things hard on the server or anyone else. They make the job worthwhile. It is unfortunate that there are several ignorant a-holes that ruin it for everyone else.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get ready for work.

The 2009 Waste Of An Award Show Awards

I decided that I would watch the 2009 MTV Movie Awards this year. I saw that Andy Samberg was hosting and have found him to be one of the funniest current members of SNL. So, surely this would be a good show.
I set the DVR to record it and caught the show a few days later when I had some free time.
The opening act reminded me of Billy Chrystal's Oscar openings where he would put himself in the movies that were nominated. Only this time, we didn't have to endure Billy Chrystal and his huge over-inflated ego. (Harry Met Sally YEARS ago! Get over it! You shouldn't have even been cast in that.)
Anyway, the show began by nominating the best supporting actress award. I'm not too sure who else was in this category, but the chick from Slumdog Millionaire should have taken this one home. Alas, she didn't. Who won instead?
Some dumbass from "High School Musical 3."
I was puzzled. How could this be?!
The next award went to best fight scene. One of the fight scenes up for consideration was the battle between Batman and The Joker. This should win HANDS-DOWN!
WTF?!
Two pansy-asses from "Twilight" won. If it weren't for CGI, these two would have probably just slapped each other around quite a bit!
I shut off the TV after that. I deleted the program and blocked MTV from my channel listings I was so pissed. MTV is owned by CBS, the same station that was responsible for broadcasting Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction. They got hit with some hefty fines from the FCC and last I checked still had to pay some of them after several lawsuits.
The FCC must have taken a night off otherwise the fines would have been greater had they seen the disgusting nature of this audio and visual assault on an unsuspecting American public. It bordered on terrorism.
That is until I recently talked to my manager at the restaurant, G. G told me that there was a special rendition of the best of Andy's digital shorts. I was intrigued and kind of wished that I had fast-forwarded the program to that instead of completely deleting it.
It was today that I found this clip and had to share it with you.
(However, when it comes to the rest of the program, it, MTV, CBS and all other affiliates can piss off.)

New Music - More Music Videos

Three Short Videos

As kind of a palate cleanser from all the usual garbage on the internet, I found these videos:



This is a twist on the "Dramatic Chipmunk" that we have all seen





I am still trying to figure out why I like this one so very much





This one is just weird for the sake of being weird

Judge Sotomayor

Sonia Sotomayor has been selected by Obama as a potential new addition to the United States Supreme court. Good choice? Well, she has experience in the field. She was a Princeton history student and politically active even back then. All seems good.
That is until you read her yearbook from back then. A nice quote from Norman Thomas was on there. He was quoted as saying "The American people will never knowingly adopt Socialism. But under the name of 'liberalism' they will adopt every fragment of the Socialist program, until one day America will be a Socialist nation, without knowing how it happened." He ran for president six times on the Socialist Party ticket. Being a history buff and politically active at the time she quoted him on her yearbook page, surely she knew of his Socialist leanings and it appears, she agrees with them. (Much like Obama)
Her experience is great too. In Connecticut, she threw out test results of an entrance exam for firefighters saying that it was racially biased because whites outscored minorities. A counter suit was filed. The article I found said: "The lead plaintiff in this case is dyslexic," said Shapiro, referring to Frank Ricci, a white firefighter who says he spent $1,000 on study aids for the exam.
Those study aides included someone to read the material to him so that he could memorize them despite his dyslexia. He also quit his job so he could study full time. He passed the test. Unfortunately, he was white.
Racist? Some may say that she was only being fair. Others point to her comments on race. In a 2001 speech she said: "I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male."
Don't let anyone call this "reverse-racism." It isn't a white thing. Sotomayor has proven this.
She has also gone on to say that she looks forward to changing a great deal of laws. Maybe it has changed since I went to school, but I was taught that the judicial branch was supposed to "interpret the laws" not make them. Perhaps Obama changed the constitution when we weren't looking.
Wise choice with this one, Obama. Wise choice.
Let's just hope that the right thing is done for America and that this woman is kept far away from our laws.