Walker Vs. Dahl

One of the biggest wastes of space in Chicago radio is Steve Dahl. He is the epitome of how much Chicago radio sucks. Take an old man who was good in the early 80's and put him back on the radio. Let him release a DVD and have a special about something he did in 1979 because he hasn't done crap in the past 27 years. Dahl is boring and needs to be removed from any microphone that isn't made by Fisher Price.
What's worse is that his lesser talented son (if that's possible) got a job on the station Stever is on just because his last name is Dahl. There would be no way in hell that this brain-dead dumbass would have gotten a job on the radio if it weren't for his once famous dad.
So, my friend, Luke Walker talked about how much WCKG (the station that they are on) blows. He didn't get into the detail that I did or was as vicious, but got in trouble about what happened. Luke has posted about this as well as everyone else in the radio community. Steve Dahl is so damn boring and without any degree of creativity or originality that he commented on Luke's blog for about 15 on his show. Find out more with the links below:

www.lukewalkerblog.blogspot.com
and
www.chicagolandradioandmedia.com

The war is on. And Luke doesn't give a rat's ass.

Sunday

So, because of the weddings, my sister came into town. She was invited to the ceremony that I didn’t go to. But, with her in town, our entire family was together for the first time in a long time. My mom cried. It was great. We got a big Chicago-style pizza and watched some old home movies from 1993. Things were great. At about 5:30pm I packed all my things back in my car for my three hour trip south. (A three hour trip. A three hour trip.) As I turned onto the highway I noticed problems with my power steering. Great. Just great.
I turned off at the next exit to take a look at my car. I figured the “check engine” light shouldn’t be on. Sure enough, one of the belts had come off. After further inspection, it was the serpentine belt. The same damn belt that came off when I was heading up north to my friend’s wedding in October. (See the back-logs in the month of October for that award winning story!)
So after about a half hour of messing with it with my dad in my folk’s driveway, we decided to call it quits. It is a good thing that I pack for an extra day, because now I needed it. With nothing going on Sunday night and no car to take me anywhere anyway, I sat at home and watched boring TV waiting to be tired enough to go to sleep.
The next morning started off a little earlier than I would have liked. At about 8am I went to one of the few mechanics I trust (J&C Auto on Ogden. I highly recommend them. They don’t screw you over.) They let me know that the tensioner was off center and rubbing against the belt. That is why it was frayed and fell off. They told me that it would be roughly $300 to fix everything. I asked how much to just put a new belt on. $87 was their answer. I had them do the second option, because I have dumped enough money into that car.
They let me know that I would get a few months of use out of the car before I had the same problem again and I told them that was all I needed. I figured I would get off my ass, fax in the paperwork from my accident in December (see the back-logs for that story too) and get some extra money for a down payment on my next car. Meanwhile, I would use this one EXTREAMLY sparingly.
So, I made it to work that morning only about an hour and a half to two hours late, but very pissed. I think I will also contact the repair place that originally helped me out in October to see if I can get them to fix things for free. But, in any event, I have gone about a total of 120 miles in the past few weeks to make sure that I can get my car to last as long as I can. Needless to say, the days of the beautiful 1993 Chrysler Le Baron that you have all come to know and love are now numbered.

Saturday

Ok. So, it’s been a while since I’ve written. Sorry about that. Busy as hell at work and no desire to write when I got home. Where did we leave off? Oh yea, Saturday.
I had to be up really early on Saturday to make it to my friend’s wedding ceremony in DuPage. This is a three hour drive north of my home, so I needed a really early start... like 10am. The ceremony was at 2pm, so I knew that if I left after 11am, I would surely miss it. So, I stumbled out of bed at 9:30 and hit the showers. As soon as I was done, I was still so exhausted from the long night the night before, that I went back to bed for a quick 20 minute nap. I knew that I was risking throwing off my entire schedule, but I needed to do this.
So, I finally hit the road with my bags packed at about 10:30. I always pack for an extra day or two just incase something strange happens. Good thing I did this. More details on that later.
I hit the expected traffic on I-80 on my way up and begin to panic. For some reason I calculated only 20 minutes to be at the church. However, I really had closer to 40. I had to go to the bathroom ever since Kankakee, but knew that would throw off my schedule even more. Needless to say, while at the I-80 stand-still, the empty sports drink bottle on the floor next to me was looking like a good option. But, I made it to the church - full bladder and all.
I breezed passed the collection of friends that I knew standing outside the door to the bathroom. Then was ready with about 5 minutes to spare for the ceremony.
This was wedding number one for the day. Yup. One day - two weddings. Only my friend Christa and I were invited to both. We had worked out a way that we would be able to take part in both weddings without offending either party. She was going to be at the other ceremony (which started at 1:00) and then head over to my ceremony (2:00, remember?) once the first one was over. Well, due to a late start on her ceremony, she missed the entire one that I attended. She got there just as people were being let out for my ceremony. Which, worked out well for me, but not for her.
I hopped in her car and headed off to the other side of DuPage for the reception for her ceremony. (Following all of this so far? Needless to say, this was about a 30 minute phone call to set all of this up!) We stayed through dinner at this reception and then excused ourselves and headed over to the final destination of the evening - the reception for the wedding that I attended. We got there just in time for the main course. However, because I was so full from the hoer derves (sp?) and dinner at the first wedding reception, I wasn’t hungry for another meal right away.
Shortly after I arrived, one of my friends pulled me aside and told me that his sister was in attendance. I didn’t really see why this would concern me, until he let me know that she was very interested in me. He told me that I should at least go talk to her at some point that evening. I figured, why not humor the guy. She had always been my friend’s little sister, so I never thought twice about her.
Before I could make it over to her, she cornered me on the dance floor and said “I’m supposed to talk to you.” “Really,” I asked, pretending to be a little surprised. So, we talked for a few moments and then I told her to put her drink down and we’d dance. Shortly before the song was over, I said “I have a confession to make.” She was first perplexed and then very interested in what I had to say. “I knew that I would be talking to you soon. Your brother let me in on how you feel about me.” Well, she threatened his life and I told her to calm down because I thought it was cute. She then went to yell at him in front of me. I turned to his wife and asked if this was normal. “Oh, yeah,” she said. “They do this all the time. It’s just their way of blowing off steam. It’s really more of a show.” So, I decided to push it even further.
“You knew that she was interested in me and you didn’t give her my number?” “I didn’t have your number!” “Sure you did. You could have given her my cell phone number, my home number, my work number, my fax number, my personal e-mail address, my work e-mail address, my website, my blog, my MySpace account or a whole bunch of other ways to get in contact with me!”
She then looked at him with her eyes wide open and said “YOU KNEW THAT I WAS TRYING TO GET IN CONTACT WITH HIM AND YOU TOLD ME YOU DIDN’T KNOW HOW!”
“I DON’T HAVE ANY OF THAT INFORMATION!!! HE’S MAKING IT UP!”
She then stormed out of the room and I laughed at my friend who vowed to get back at me. I found that she had gone to a bar down the hall to cool down with her friends. In there we found a guy singing Elvis songs poorly on a karaoke machine. So, this girl and I busted out a rendition of her favorite duet song “Picture” by Cheryl Crowe and Kid Rock. (Look up the lyrics and let me know what you think about her selection!)
We then danced on and off throughout the rest of the evening and I got a number.
How about that? I go to a wedding stag and end up with a number. Nice. More details on what happens next, later.
But, the wedding reception ended and I’m in no shape to drive. So, my good friend Billy D (You might have checked out his blog on the right when it was still up and running. I will leave that link up there should he ever decide to enter back into the world of blogging. I really hope he does.) was gracious enough to drive me to the after party.
There many people were playing “The Happening Game.” Most of us met through a group called “The Happening” which was a group that put on retreats for teenagers in the area. So, once it disbanded, what did we do? Developed a drinking game about it.
After about an hour or so, I was driven home by Billy D after what turned out to be a very enjoyable (and productive) evening. Sunday, however, was a pain in the ass.

Carrots, Eggs and Coffee

I know I told you that the next post would be a continuation of what happened to me on Saturday, but I got this e-mail from my Mom that I wanted to share with you. We'll get back to my weekends soon, I promise. But, this is pretty interesting.


A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.
Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see."
"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. Themother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.
The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently.
The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.
"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean? The carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? The egg that starts with a malleable heart,but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level?"
How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Friday's Adventure(s)

Let's start off with Friday. I left this day EXHAUSTED! From the moment my feet hit the ground, I was running. The night before we had a planning meeting at the station to discuss the roles for everyone that is on the air. We had a bunch of Effingham troops returning from Iraq on Friday and we needed to be sure that we covered it correctly. Everyone had their roles and knew where they had to be and when.
So, the first thing I had to do was take our remote equipment in the station truck out to the football field where the Welcome Home Celebration was going to be held. I got there and got it wired so that we were able to talk to the station from the football field. I then realized that we didn't have all the wiring necessary to broadcast. So, I had to run back to the station. But, the truck was in a great location and I didn't want to loose it. So, I had one of the sales people drive me back.
I did a few commercials for a client, grabbed a bunch of wires and got to work. I found out that our engineer didn't have any solder in the station. We had a soldering iron, but no solder. I wondered why that was the case for a few moments and then realized that I would be using scotch tape instead.
I got out to the football field again and patriotic music began playing on the station from the on-air crew that would be in charge of broadcasting everything. I knew that I was cutting it short. When I got up to the press box, I found that I didn't quite get everything correct and had to do some more electrical work. But, now I had NO tools.
I wandered into the audience, which had already started gathering, and found a guy who had a pocket knife. Unfortunately it was meant for gutting fish and stuff. So, the edges were extremely jagged. I had to strip wires VERY carefully this time.
I heard the report from our first point person, Kate. She was standing on an overpass and reported on the troops as they drove down the interstate. She held her cell phone up in the air and we heard the horns, sirens and the applause as they passed by. I knew that they were now twenty minutes out.
At this point, I still hadn't heard from our second pointman who was supposed to be in the center of town at the courthouse to let the audience know that they had gotten into town. It was after talking to a back-up, Alissa, (You read about her annoying Cell Phone song earlier) that we got someone in place. It was as soon as I hung up with her that the regular guy showed up beside me in the press box. "Well, at least we got it covered now." I thought. William remained with me through the whole broadcast and actually offered a great deal of insight and comment to our broadcast from the football field.
With the combination of the entire air-staff working together, we sounded REALLY kick-ass on the air. The other station just had a guy with a cell phone in the stands. Nothing else. It is so great to blow them out of the water every chance we get.
My day was not over yet. That happened at 2pm. I ran back to the station and hopped on the air to begin my regular air-shift. I then left halfway through to broadcast our first ever weekly remote from a local bar. Each Friday we count-down drinking songs on the radio and I thought it fitting to do this from a bar... plus the bar owner is a very generous man.
Shortly after I arrived there he asked me if I would be willing to assist with his bikini contest that evening. (He really needed to twist my arm for that one) So, I became the host of the contest. The pictures here are from that evening. You can find more on their website www.whitegoosetavern.com or by clicking the picture of the exterior of the bar. They all had to answer questions from me (they were EXTREAMLY hard, of course) then they had to dance on the bar and finally show their skills in the suds pit that they had set up for that evening. One of the hot bartenders won the whole thing. For some reason, there isn't any pictures of her. If you look at the picture on the left, she's the one in the middle of the suds. I think that's as close as you're gonna get.
I didn't leave there until about 1 or 2am. One of the girls that came with me wanted breakfast food right then and there. I told her that I was going home. She asked if I had eggs at my place. I told her that I had bacon too. So, we grilled that up and I kicked her out at about 3:30. I knew that the next morning I had to be up really early.
Find out why in my next post!

What A Weekend

So, I write about how many people are checking out my blog and how I will keep up on things and then a weekend like the one I had happens, and I STILL haven't written anything about it! What a jerk I am. Coming soon you'll find out about my VERY exhausting adventure that started Friday morning and didn't end until Monday afternoon. Who knows, it could pick up again sometime this evening! I have been so bogged down with tasks that I haven't had the time. I finally had a spare moment to let you know to expect several long posts about what happened. Perhaps one for each day. I think that will be a little more digestable for ya.
But, I promise. You can expect something soon, friends.

Stats

Wow. Out of pure curiosity, I just installed a "Stat Counter" on this site yesterday and took a look at it this evening. Pretty interesting stuff! This counter tells me how long you've been at my site, where you're from and if you came back for more!
Majority of people stay on my site for over an hour (Wow! Thanks). And here are just a few of the cities that have been recorded for today:

Lynnwood, Washington
Nashville, Tennessee
Mattoon, Illinois
Naperville, Illinois
Milpitas, California
Bloomington, Illinois
Reston, Virginia
Omaha, Nebraska
Chicago, Illinois
Ft. Wayne, Indiana
Carlinville, Illinois

And even:

Barcelona, Spain
and
Swindon, England

Now, some of the places in Illinois, I was expecting. I know some people in those towns, but HOLY CRAP! I've gone international and I didn't even know it!
There have been a total of 33 people that viewed my site between midnight and 6pm Central Time.

I guess I should post more. Didn't realize that you cared! (tear)

Look to your right. It's actually MY left.

You may have noticed the message board that I've included on the right-side of this blog. "What is it?" you might be asking. It is your opportunity to send a message to me or everyone. Comment on what is written. Ask a question. Or you could complain about something. I really don't care.
So, leave a message or two. Then tell your friends. They will be so proud that you were able to convey your thoughts into words and then transform them into binary code by hitting computer keys in the proper order. Heck, I'm already proud of you and you haven't done it yet!
So, type away!
More posts soon!

VH1 Promotes Cloning

So, I just wrote about MTV earlier and now I'm onto VH1. There's something I like about VH1. I don't know what it is. The whole "I Love Toys" type of show (They had one for the 90's, 70's and about 16 for the 80's.) I become addicted to.
Anyway, I was watching it today as a back up channel. (I have back-up channels for the commercial breaks on my primary show) They were doing some sort of weekly count-down of the hottest songs in the nation right now. Some were decent, but none really struck me as great. Then I began to notice a trend. It began with this punk named Daniel Powter. (That is his actual picture on the right!) He sings this whinny-ass song called "Bad Day."
Then there were about 15,000 other artists that were dressed just like him and just as whinny. You know the kind. Where it looks almost painful for them to sing their songs in the music video. (If it's that painful, perhaps you should look into a different career choice, dumbass.) They all follow the Justin Timberlake trend. The whole preppie, not matching clothes, whinny white boy pop crap.
I was talking with my friend Luke a few months ago about music today. It sucks. It's so formulaic and generic. Very few artists break the mold. And as soon as they do, there are 26.3 others who follow right behind them. Are we just getting old, or does the music of today really suck that much?!
I'm hoping that it just sucks. I want to go back to the days of Collective Soul, Soundgarden and Live. I want Sir Mix-A-Lot and MC Hammer to get back into things. I need Run DMC to sing with Aerosmith again. Hell, the New Kids On The Block are better than some of these whinny preppies posing as "artists."
There's a Nelly song out called "Grills" that annoys the hell out of me. If you accidently stumble on this music video - CHANGE IT IMMEDIATELY!!! It's a bunch of rappers flashing their diamond and platinum teeth. It is disgusting. And in the song it is apparent that Nelly has issues hearing. Because there is a girl that will ask him to show his "grills" and he responds "You wanna see my what?" She then becomes aggravated that he didn't hear her and asks him "how much did you pay?" Again he is unable to hear her and answers back with "What?" She then goes back to her original question. Nelly! If you are reading this, and I know you are, sell an incisor and buy a hearing aid!
This is music? This is absolute crap. To make it worse, one of my co-workers, Alissa, has it as her ring-back tone on her phone. So each time I call her I hear this god-awful song instead of a phone ringing. I can't take it. Music today SUCKS!
Or maybe I'm just an old man.

Enhancement

So, I was sick all this weekend. All I did was lay on my couch and chugged OJ while eating everything in the house that had chicken in it. I had a fever, cold, cough and Bird Flu, I think. Anyway, the TV got it's most use this weekend. I watched the NFL draft all the way through. Saw the Sox win, the Cards win and the Cubbies loose. It was a great weekend for sports, just not for me.
But, anyone who watches sports on TV has seen commercials for Enzyte. Enzyte is a pill that boasts it assists with "male enhancement." I'm sure that you can figure out what that means. Anyway, you may remember the guy named "Bob" with the goofy-ass grin on his face. And then there's his wife who looks like an uglier version of the mom on "That 70's Show." (No wonder the guy needs these pills.) Forever they have been talking about their free sample of this stuff with your first order. I think they even have a nascar or something. There's a random car in the commercial with their logo on it - I don't really get why.
The reason I bring this up (no pun intended... ok, maybe a little one... pun there too!) is that they are now not only offering the free sample, but also a "Smilin' Bob T-Shirt!" Who the hell is going to order this crap because of a t-shirt. Their marketing firm (pun there too - did you catch it?) needs to be eliminated. How embarrassing is that?! The t-shirt might as well read "My penis doesn't work and all I got is this stupid t-shirt!"

TRLibral?

So, recently I was watching MTV. It is very rare that I am found watching MTV mainly because I forget that it exists. It's right around # 70 on my cable system and I have usually found something in the top 50 that will satisfy me before I land on MTV.
Anyway, when I did catch them they paused from "Pimp My Ride" or whatever the hell I was watching for an MTV News report. I was expecting to hear about how J-Lo has a new relationship, Tim Robbins has said something stupid at a political rally or how Britney has fallen two more notches on the White Trash board.
Instead it is an actual news story. They talked about the then heating up debate over illegal immigration. It wasn't a short 30 second or minute report that I was expecting, they spent about 5 minutes on the topic. It was so extremely watered down and liberalized that I became sick to my stomach. I felt like Bush Sr. eating sushi.
The little dumbasses that fill our high schools feel that they are informed? Not if they are getting their news from MTV! These kids probably can't even spell CNN let alone spot biased news reporting to begin with. Yet, they feel that they are informed enough to participate in political rallies, walk-outs and demonstrations. Well, they are eager to do so when it interrupts their school day, but a little busy on a Saturday afternoon.
Now if you'll excuse me, I am going to check www.colbertnation.com to get my daily dose of what's going on in the world. I can taste the "truthiness" now! Long live Stephen Colbert.