John Mc

This is a collection of my thoughts. Some of the thoughts that I once had, I no longer do. Some thoughts I have now I have never had. Yet none shal be discounted. This blog is soley for the enjoyment of the author and the readers. On occasion the views expressed are overly exagerated in order to prove a point. Also there may be a dirty word or thought in some of the posts. Grow up and take this for what it's worth - a blog that barely anyone will ever see.

2/19/2009

People are D-U-M!

People are dumb. I have to deal with them on a daily basis. (You probably do to, but this blog is about me.) I have trouble keeping a straight face while dealing with them sometimes. These are three examples from this week alone.
Today I worked at the restaurant. I asked a guy if he would care for something to drink.
"Just a water." He replied.
"Ok. Bottle or tap?" I asked. I always hope for bottle on the off-chance that I can actually make some money on the deal. Majority of the people just say "tap." Not this guy.
"Huh? No. I'll just have a glass."
Gotcha.
Another lady on Tuesday ordered the Chicken Strip Dinner. It is when someone orders the chicken strips that I ask them if they would like a dipping sauce. Because 90% of the time... well, more like 9 out of 10 times, they say "Honey Mustard." Thus my response to her order was "Would you like honey mustard with that?"
She looked up from her menu and said "Yeah, but only on the side."
Glad she mentioned that. I was going to drown her entire plate in the crap had she not.
But, this one takes the cake. On the same day only an hour later a woman ordered the salmon. I came to check up on the table. Both ladies said that their meal was good. Upon a follow-up check when they appeared to be nearing the end of their meal I asked if they would care for desert. They both declined. But, the woman who ordered the salmon had a comment on her dish that she wished to share with me.
"I don't know who you need to tell, but I have to tell you about this salmon." She informed me.
"Was everything alright?" I asked as I looked at her plate to see if she was one of those people that complain only AFTER they finish everything. Instead she only ate about 85% of her meal. Still more than the maximum for me to give a crap about her opinion.
"You should know that it tasted a little 'fishy.'"
I looked back at her. I caught her eyes and searched for any degree of her messing with me. For surely she was joking. She didn't seem to be, so my mind raced as to what the hell she was talking about. This woman had no expression on her face. Not even anger or disgust, which you would expect from someone not happy with their meal. "Is this a bad thing?" I asked her.
She looked at me as if I had asked her what 2+2 was. "Yes." She said in an extremely condescending tone.
"Let me see what I can do about that." I said. This is my knee-jerk response to anyone bitching about something. It is rare that it happens, but when it does, you want to say something that shows that you will try to right the wrong without promising anything. That is exactly what this phrase does for me.
I went to the manager on duty. I have no problem going to any manager with any customer issue because I know that after the amount of my life that I have wasted there, I am pretty much safe from any criticism that a customer may toss my way.
"Hey, Jim?" (His name isn't Jim, but I changed it for his protection. He's alright.)
"Yeah, what's up?"
"There's a lady at table 10 that wasn't happy with her meal."
"(Expletive deleted) What's the issue?"
"She said that her salmon was a bit..." I could barely finish the sentence it was so ridiculous. "Her salmon was a bit on the fishy side." "What?"
"Yup."
"You have GOT to be kidding me. It's SALMON! It's FISH! What's it supposed to taste like? A (expletive deleted) burger?! I'll go talk to the (expletive deleted)!"
He straightened his tie and went around the corner to the front of the restaurant to ask the woman what was wrong. He even knelt by the table. (They must be trained in manager school that this is a good way to "get on the same level" with the customer. But, we all know this is when any manager is giving the customer a load of [expletive deleted] and we don't have anything to worry about.)
He came back to the computers where I was prepared to comp her meal. "Do we have to comp it?" I asked.
"No, she's fine." He responded and went back to his little office in the back of the restaurant.
I shrugged, printed their bill and thanked them for coming in. They tipped me very well. I then told every server of the weirdos that I had encountered and we had a laugh at their stupidity.

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Effingham In The National News... Nearly 4 Years Ago

I couldn't believe it when I heard it, but back in September of 2005, Jon Stewart of "The Daily Show" mentioned "Effingham," the town I was working in, durring his program. I had to watch the show twice to be sure I heard it correctly. Not only did he mention "Effingham" he also brought up two smaller towns around it! (Needless to say this audio was placed in many drops for my show on the radio station at the time.) For the first time ever, I have found it online and can share it with you. Here is something that you probably don't care about, Jon Stewart says the name of the town that I spent nearly three years in. Enjoy. (P.S. Don't worry about watching the whole thing. Only the sentance at 1:04 matters.)



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2/18/2009

Don't Even Think About It!

I have a roommate named Dan. For those who have met Dan, you know that he is pretty even-tempered. It takes a great deal to get him to show much of any emotion. For the first few months I knew him while living at Rick's home, majority of our conversations were reduced to primal grunts.
Dan would come home and I would say "Hey. How are ya?"
He would respond. "Hey." or "Hm."
And I was ok with this. Depending on his tone or whether or not he used words, we could decipher what his response truly meant.
Since I moved to an apartment and Dan joined me a few months later, our conversations have increased. But, for the most part, Dan has remained rather quiet and keeps to himself. A "Hey, man." Or perhaps "Take care" when I leave the apartment is what has developed.
Things changed one night about a month ago.
Dan and I are both big Hamburger Helper enthusiasts. I have even branched out to the store brands in some cases. Monday nights were my night to create this culinary treat and on this particular occasion, I had selected the Cheesy Italian Shells dinner. I'm not one for cheese, but I trust the Hamburger Helper to never guide me down the incorrect path. While Dan passed the table, I casually mentioned "This may be better with some warmed up marinara."
It was then that Dan stopped in his tracks and pivoted to face me. "NO!" He cautioned. "Don't you ever, EVER adjust the Hamburger Helper recipe. The Hamburger Helper people have brought us their meals for generations and they know what they are doing."
I was taken aback slightly. "Ok. I won't-"
"Don't even think about it. The biggest mistake one can make is thinking that they can improve upon decades of intense research and countless study groups. These people know what they are doing and shouldn't be messed with!"
You would think that I was talking about over-throwing the government or something!
"I once made the same mistake that you are talking about. My meal was ruined. All effort was lost. You enjoy your Hamburger Helper the way that it was meant to be enjoyed - by using the directions that you find on the box."
It was that night that I made a binding vow to Dan, Hamburger Helper and the rest of the world to never again adjust or consider adjusting the recipe for Hamburger Helper.
Just don't tell him that I will on occasion add a bit more milk and spice up the meat. I am concerned with what he may do if he knew.

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Pope and Pelosi

Recently House Speaker Nancy Pelosi met with Pope Benedict XVI. (Click here for the article.) They discussed many things, but the one thing that Pope Benedict XVI stressed was that Catholics, as politicians, should work toward outlawing abortion. He even went on to say that should they support abortion, they should abstain from receiving holy communion. Here is the press releases from each of their camps:

Pope Benedict XVI:

"His Holiness took the opportunity to speak of the requirements of the natural moral law and the Church's consistent teaching on the dignity of human life from conception to natural death which enjoin all Catholics, and especially legislators, jurists and those responsible for the common good of society, to work in cooperation with all men and women of good will in creating a just system of laws capable of protecting human life at all stages of its development."

Pelosi:

“It is with great joy that my husband, Paul, and I met with his Holiness, Pope Benedict XVI today.
“In our conversation, I had the opportunity to praise the Church's leadership in fighting poverty, hunger, and global warming, as well as the Holy Father's dedication to religious freedom and his upcoming trip and message to Israel.
“I was proud to show his Holiness a photograph of my family's Papal visit in the 1950s, as well as a recent picture of our children and grandchildren.”

For some reason I don't think Pelosi got the message.

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2/15/2009

Adventures

For the past three weekends, I have gone on three separate adventures. These will be composed this week as well as a special warning about Hamburger Helper.
Until then, here is a great video about The Office that my sister found for me. If you are a fan of The Office, then you will enjoy it. If you are not a fan of The Office, then you won't. But, you really should be by now!



Talk to you soon and comment often.

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2/13/2009

Then And Now!

The story when she left Drew:



The story now:





She apparently didn't learn. We are at a loss as to what we can do about this. Pray that she isn't killed before she can escape from this madman!

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V-Day = L-A-M-E!

Valentine's Day is for losers. It is L-A-M-E! Don't agree with me? Check out what Marc Rudov has to say:




See? It is all about the woman! Guys, think of the last great Valentine's Day gift you got her. Now try to match that greatness with anything that she got you. Any comparison? I didn't think so.
Not that it is about gifts. It is a forced holiday. Romance should be spontaneous. It shouldn't be a specific day of the year. Yet, we feel compelled to exchange gifts with our loved ones on this day because we are told to.
What a crock.
April 15th is tax day. We are forced to pay from the government. February 14th is Valentine's Day. We are forced to pay by Halmark. It is ridiculous!
If you want to take your lady out to a very romantic dinner but don't want to break the bank, I have a solution for you:



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2/11/2009

The Circus

This was last week:








This was yesterday:

Dating Drew

What's next for the media circus's favorite clown
By STEVE RHODES
Updated 8:34 AM CST, Wed, Feb 11, 2009

The engagement is back on!

Christina Raines, the 23-year-old on-again, off-again fiancee of person-of-interest in multiple murders Drew Peterson, has moved back in to her lover's Bolingbrook home. And they've already taped on appearance on the Today show to tell the whole world about it.

We asked our Drew Peterson Desk to speculate on the next developments we can expect to see in this scintillating story.

- Drew Peterson's fiancee moves back out

- Drew Peterson gets a new fiancee

- Drew Peterson gets a reality show called Be My Fiancee

- Sun-Times announces new Bolingbrook edition with a companion Web site called DrewsBlock.com

- Tribune announces Drew Peterson to-go edition

- Drew Peterson impersonates cop, takes a shift on Chicago's Southwest Side

- Geraldo Rivera stages prime-time special opening of Drew Peterson's vault

- In embarrassment to Obama administration, Drew Peterson awarded stimulus funds

- Drew Peterson joins Viva Viagra band

- Drew Peterson's fiancees go missing






This is today:

WLSAM.com

And this due to her money-hungry d-bag dad:

WBBM780.com

What element of the circus is coming up next? (Watch "Today" tomorrow.) To be honest, I'm sick of these clowns!

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2/06/2009

B52 Press Confrence

The press were assembled yesterday for a very landmark press conference held by the B52's. After years of guilt silently piling up, they issued a very long sought after apology to the people of the world. For over 20 years, the people of Earth have been subjected to the painful "Rock Lobster." Not only is it excruciating, but it is 23 minutes long while lacking ANY noticeable beneficial content.
Many felt that this song was prepared by the CIA as a unruly mob manipulation device for the general public. However, it was finally confirmed that the song was just a really bad decision made by the group. It was almost not released until a sadistic member of the record label secretly put the song on the album and made sure that it was released as a single.
Kate Pierson broke down in front of the cameras as Cindy Wilson pleaded for an acceptance of the group's apology. "We didn't know what we were doing at the time. We were unaware of the power that we were wielding" Wilson claimed. The other members of the band, Keith Strickland and Fred Schneider held their heads low as Wilson spoke for the group.
Soon Schneider looked right into the camera with mascara running down his face and just mouthed "We're sorry" over and over again.
Pierson then told stories of sleepless nights and weeping in the dark alone. She said that none of them knew what they were doing at the time. Had they been aware of the devastation that they were creating, they never would have assembled the most repulsive assault on the ears that had ever been created.
Strickland remained silent until the end of the press conference. It was then that he looked up from his hands to say "Please, if you can find it in your hearts, your forgiveness... Your mercy... Please know that we say this from the bottom of our hearts." The rest of what he said was lost in his tears.
The media hounded them for follow up questions, but they denied to answer. It was apparently a very moving experience for them. It was a release of many upon many years of personal anguish. Once this anguish reached the levels of those subjected to the music, they felt compelled to apologize for the attack on the world.
One bystander, who wished to not be identified, was asked "Mr. James Getrowski, what does this mean, in your opinion, to the general public?"
"The healing process has finally begun... Finally begun." James Getrowski then wiped away a tear, dropped the microphone and ran away down the street while keeping his arms very still.
No word on an apology for "Love Shack" yet.


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2/03/2009

My Co-Worker

I will write more about this post when I have the time and can process all of this.
But, I thought that I should share this with you.
Christina's (Chrissy's) father is NOT helping. We all know what a douche this guy is. Why prove it to the world. AND take Johnny Cash's name down with him?! (He has a tattoo of Cash on his fore-arm if that's any indication of who we are dealing with!)
The CNN interview has been pre-taped. The CBS one hasn't been.
To me, these don't look like interviews, but instead commercials for book deals. However, I think her father's will be a coloring book.
If they don't show up, here are the links:

Watch CBS Videos Online

I have known Chrissy for over two years.
I will soon decide what else will be added, if anything, to this post.

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2/01/2009

Super Bowl

Why do I have this prediction?
Don't know.
But, here it is:

PIT: 27
AZ: 24

But, I'm pulling for AZ.

Enjoy the best day of Football all year! (Only made better if the Bears were in it... and won.)

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