John Mc

This is a collection of my thoughts. Some of the thoughts that I once had, I no longer do. Some thoughts I have now I have never had. Yet none shal be discounted. This blog is soley for the enjoyment of the author and the readers. On occasion the views expressed are overly exagerated in order to prove a point. Also there may be a dirty word or thought in some of the posts. Grow up and take this for what it's worth - a blog that barely anyone will ever see.


He's Still SUPER GREAT!!!

On a scale of 1 to awesome, He's SUPER GREAT! I know the fad is over, but I still dig Strong Bad. I don't check it as often as I used to, but I have caught myself up on all the new "Teen Girl Squad" episodes. If you don't know who he is, you're about 2 years behind everyone else. Catch up man. And don't worry, I won't spoil the end of Friends for you. You 2003er!!! Click on the little guy to go right to The Fun Zone.

Playing A Game

Another long weekend. A lot happened. So, the most logical thing to do is tell you about it out of order, right? I'll fill you in on Saturday when I get the pictures sent to me. Until then I've developed some fun games for long car rides. As you may know, I drive over 6 hours each weekend to go up to Chicago and come back home. I do this mainly because of work, but also if someone is throwing a Halloween party. So, I have developed several games to keep my mind occupied on the same familiar road each week. My favorite is flirting with the cars on the road. If I spot a cutie driving near me, I begin the chace. It starts out innocently enough. We catch each other's eyes, then I speed up. I let her catch me and then there's a wink and a shy smile. She knows what's going on and both of us are digging the attention on the long boring I-57. So, a game of speeding up (never above the limit, of course!) and catching up passes the time. With EIU so close to me and many of it's college students coming and going from Chicago as well, my chances of spotting a likely participant for this game are great. One girl even followed me to McDonalds after a while of playing this game. She was fun, but don't remember her name.
Another game that is fun to play is the "in my pants" game. No, it's not that! Take the slogans from the billboards and ad the words "in my pants" to the end of them. Kind of like the fortune cookie "in bed" theory. Some of the best were "Danger! High Voltage!," "Two fisted gormet" and "over 16,000 loose slots." Try it the next time your out. You'll thank me later.


What a Nite!

Wow. Went out to a bar in Lisle for the evening. Thought it would just kill a night. Wow. It did much more. They had a costume contest that was a lot of fun. Met some interesting people. Saw some that I remember from before. All in all, it was a good night. Can't wait for tomorrow night! (And yes, I am leaving details out for a reason.)



Nothing really going on right now. Stuff happened in the past, and stuff will happen in the future. But, as of right now... nothing really. Last night was a productive evening. I finished up my talk that I'm giving for a retreat program. And then Yolanda came over to spend some quality time with me. I then layed on the couch in a constant state of half awake watching TV. It was one of those experiences where you hear the TV and your mind puts images to the picture. And of course your mind is never anything like what the show is. I'll be hearing an episode of "Family Ties" and have it acted out by Squirels in the rain forest looking for a great cheese cake recipe.
Also people that I know and hang out with today will show up. Or someone who I haven't thought about or seen in 18 years will be the evil French chef holding out on the recipie preventing Alex from saving the world from the disguised Oak trees.
Now, let me explain myself. I had the aide of the TV pushing these dreams. PLUS I am in a creative industry where my mind has to constantly be tweeked slightly in order for survival. If I ever realized that my job consists of primarily pop culture and fart jokes, I don't know if I could take it. That's why radio people are always a bit stranger than regular people. And I do mean regular people. We are far from that.
For example, while I'm writing this, I'm also taking requests. What other job has that? Except for a help desk. Just had a call asking when trick-or-treating is going to be done for one of the neighboring towns. Accountants never get this. You've never seen a scientist in a white jacket taking Alan Jackson songs down on his clipboard.
Eh. It's a job. Not an important on in the grand scheme of things, but what little I do (hopefully) brings some joy to others.
So, I'm awaiting the party tomorrow night. Always a good event. Rick goes out of his way to deck out his entire house in Halloween crap. Not a single inch is left unturned. It's all black or orange. Plus there are going to be several people there that I haven't seen in a while. And some people that I've never met.
Well, time to go back to pretending to work.


Billy D Too?!

I was unaware, until he posted on mine, that Billy D has his own blog too! Holy crap! Does everyone have one? And why hasn't he posted since July? You're loosin' it Billy! I haven't read all of his stuff, so the views expressed may not be that of this blog, it's creators, parent company or advertizers. But, check it out. And do it now. Click on his picture

Sox Won

Game over. The Sox are now the best baseball team in the world. I can honestly say that because they just won the World Series. And I couldn't be happier. Plus I got to watch the game with a brunette and a blonde who helped me celebrate. Brunette left early, but the blonde stuck it out until the end. What a trooper. She's a Cards fan too. She said she was there for me. What a sweetheart. She was even willing to go a full 18 innings with me, if that's what it took to see them win it all. Dedication.
Congrats, Sox. Now we turn our focus to The Bears. Just in time for them to play The Lions again. What a great week this will be. Two wins in a row? I think we might be able to do it!


Sunday Night

So, you recall me mentioning that I was going to be meeting up with 4 girls on Thursday night. Well, I'll meet up with two this weekend, but I met up with one of them on Sunday. (the fourth... well she kind of got lost in the shuffle. Maybe I'll pick her up on the way back.) You can read my excitement prior to the meeting in a post about football, beer, wings and you... or something like that.
Anyway, I met up with her for the Sox game on Sunday. We went out to a bar in Bolingbrook to watch the game. It was going to be a great date. No awkward silences, because they were filled with the game. When we did talk, we had the lull of baseball to fill.
Sounds great, doesn't it? Of course it wasn't.
All she wanted to talk about was her band and her ex boyfriends. Her band "went on tour" over the summer. No it didn't. She played different bars in the area on the weekends. But, to her that was a "tour." One of the places she headlined at is pictured. Then I heard all about Tim and Terry and who knows. I tuned her out.
I wasn't about to start caring about her ex's. Why the hell she brought 'em up, I don't know. What I do know is that I'm not about to get involved with someone who is still hung up on her past. Get over 'em AND THEN go on a date.
And it wasn't as if this happened recently, this was like a year or two ago. Hey, go back with them or get them out of your life. Deal. Move on. That's life.
But, I just focused on my game and let her know through my body language that she wasn't scoring any points by boring me. So, she sent me an e-mail the next day telling me what a great time she had. I have yet to respond. I think I might, but it won't be the response that she wants to hear.
So, it's back to the stand-by's that I had before I met her. Although, I hear that at a party that I'm going to there might be a few more options there. But, I'm not getting my hopes up.


Japan's Mind Control

This article should freak you out a bit. Japan has found a way to remotly control your movements. Click on the picture for the article. Imagine what's coming next!



It took me about an hour and a half to post the entry below this one because this website takes FOREVER to get a picture added. I have to completely close out the screen and re-log in to load EACH picture. sucks. At least from my angle. If you are about to start up a blog, beware that this will work fine for a while, but soon you will be faced with great aggravation!

Al Roker Needs Sand Bags

The Daily Show is one of the best programs on TV. I do my best to catch it each day. If you can look past the evil liberal bias that it has, it is worthy of the emmys that it's won. In any regard, the story that they did on Al Roker's coverage of the hurricane in Florida was HYSTERICAL. Click on the picture of Patriotic Jon for the video.
At some point I'm going to figure out how to show you the clip from when they mentioned my home town. Yup. Effingham got national coverage thanks to Jon Stewart!

This Weekend's Wedding

Well, this Saturday my friends got married... Finally. They've been engaged since the Reagan administration. The ceremony was nice, and yes, I did laugh during it. Part of the reason was because the best man, Steve, was being an ass up on the alter and because Spero was sitting next to me asleep during the homily. Of course everytime I nudged him awake he claimed he wasn't asleep. "He's talking about love. I've heard it before." From there, Billy D had some beer in his truck and he and I had one in the church parking lot. The rest of the bridal party high-tailed it to our next destination, Doc Ryan's in Elmhurst. (With Tim getting married, do you expect anything less?!)
From there, I checked into my hotel room, put away my stuff and ran to the reception as everyone was being introduced. I missed my cue to walk in the room, so I was a little ticked about that. But, dinner rocked. It provided a solid foundation for the rest of the evening.
The Sox were playing in the first game of the World Series, so many people were checking that out during the reception. There is a bar in the same parking lot as the reception hall, so the dumb people were walking over there to check the score. Other people like me had people on the outside giving me mid and top of the inning updates on the score. And I noticed the staff hanging out in the manager's room, so I caught some of the game there.
But, that wasn't why I was there that night, I was there to hang out with everyone in the other room. And that's what I did. I must have danced to 90% of the songs that evening. Why? Because there was always a drink in my hand. I danced with roughly 18,004 women that evening. Some were single, some had boyfriends, some were married. I didn't care. My legs are still cramped from that.
The night ended for some when the ugly lights came on. But, not for us. We walked over to the bar that was carrying the Sox game earlier. I had two Guinesses there thanks to Jimm-ay. Then somehow ended up in Caresse and Christian's hotel room. Hung out with them for a while before going to the bride and groom's hotel room.
Tim's theory was that he had the rest of his life to spend a night alone with his bride, why not spend as much time as possible with his wedding guests. I thought this was a cool idea. So, we hung out in their hot tub. I got a few videos and pictures of the after party. No, I didn't get Tim with his pants off.
Then somehow I woke up in my own hotel room. How? Don't know. But, I was glad I made it.
And the next day I was fine. Many people thought I was going to be hurting, but my tricks allowed me to come out stellar once again. We dined on a remarkable spread set up by Tim's mom the next morning and then it was off to my date. Tell you about that next time.

Weather Wars!!!

Over the years, conspiracy theorists have given us plenty to laugh about and occasionally a little to think about. Weather Wars claims that not only is the weather being controlled by evil forces, but so are earthquakes and volcanoes, all by using electomagnetic waves. So, if you think that the weird weather was caused by magnets or global warming or something else silly like The Japanese Mafia, this site is for you... WEIRDO! (click on the picture)

Joelle Joins The Circle

Well, my friend Joelle from Columbia has started up the Blogging craze. You can now see her first ever entry here:
Go ahead and back me up on the title of her first entry! And give props to he who gave her the first comment on her site.


Sox Fans, UNITE!!!

First, I'm ticked at this site. The post below me is supposed to have pictures on it, but this site won't let me add them. I'll have it ready to go, I'll ask it to post my selection, then nothing. It is so aggravating. I might go look for another blogging site.
Anyway, Sox fans, Unite! We are up 2-0. And, if you're anything like me, you have probably been looking for that Lets Go White Sox song. Well, look no more, click below for your own copy of the MP3!

For more White Sox songs and audio clips, try this site out:

Enjoy! Above you'll catch Ozzy giving his best "Whachu talkin' about Willis" pose and the other picture is Konerko's Grand Slam that caused Chicago to rejoice.

I Forgot One Thing!!!

I forgot to mention one of the most disgusting things that I've seen in a long while. (Yeah, I know, I should remember to include something like that, shouldn't I?!) It happened at the repair shop I took my car to last week. (Scroll down to read that headache) While I was there, I noticed a big box of Krispy Creme Donuts sitting on the counter. Nothing weird about that, right?
Well, I went back to making small talk with the receptionist who was filing away the redneck's F.O.I.D. card applications when one of the mechanics walked in with something to say about a Ford's tires. Well, he was chowin' down on one of the glaze drenched donuts, but his hands were dripping with oil and grease making part of his donut discolored. But, he behaved as if nothing was wrong as he finished it off, THEN LICKED HIS HANDS.
I came close to vomiting. I couldn't believe that there were people like this out there. Who would be comfortable doing something like that? That's the kind of stuff people walk away from in Fear Factor.
I'll fill you in on my weekend later today, if I have time.


Football, Wings, Beer And You - My Favorite Country Song

So, I contacted one of the girls from Friday night to tell her why I wasn't there. When Jen heard of my car problems (and I'm not making this up) she offered to drive me around this weekend. I let her know that the car was fixed, and that wouldn't be necessary. She hoped that this weekend wouldn't be a complete waste and that we could hang out on Saturday. I let her know that tonight was my friends' wedding and was going to be busy with that. However, Sunday I was planning on having some hot wings and Miller Light while I watched both The Bears and The Sox win at a Bears Sports Bar and she was welcome to join me. She then enthusiastically asked for directions and the time that I wanted her there.

This one might turn out alright. Let's see if she talks during the game. Talking is what the commercial breaks are for. And conversations are what half-time is for... unless they are updating you on the rest of the league's doings that afternoon. When you are in fantasy football, that is an important update.
Well, time for me to start to get ready for the wedding. Have to be there at 12:45 for pictures. (yea!) I've been looking forward to this for a while. Well, more the reception than the wedding, but still, both. I'll let you know of any craziness that might go on tonight in my next post. But, it won't be tomorrow, I won't be near a computer for a while. So, enjoy the digital silence for the next 24-48 hours.Until we meet again, friends!

The Things That I I Find

Check this dude out. Not too sure where I found him, but he made me laugh, so I saved him for you. I think he's eating Fritos in Mom's bedroom by sweeping his arm across himself in a counter-clockwise motion. To each their own. Maybe it's how he picks up chicks. Who are you to judge?!


It's Always Something... Continuted

The story begins on the post below this one.

So, the tow truck finally arrives. I get the business card of the place that it's being towed to from a guy who looks like he opens beers with his teeth for a living. I'm not feeling good about this, but the cop is still there, and I have no other options. I'm at the mercy of the cornfield folk. So, I head back to the car where the cop pulls a U-turn across the grassy median. He asks me if I want to go to the motel or if I want to just hang out in the 24-hour truck stop. I laughed, then realized he was serious. Um, I think I'll go with the motel. A room by myself sounds better than downing coffee and hearing the complaints of life on the road from those who started the whole trucker hat fad.
So, I know it's a classy motel because they have a phone in the bathroom. One of those clamshell recessed buttons type of things. Nice. The bathroom was huge. Probably 15x15 without any exaggeration. Why they need such a large bathroom, I don't know.
And a big thanks goes out the crew of 20/20. (Jon Fossil, you’re an ass!) Because every time I go into a hotel now, I wish that I had one of those black light things to find out what else is in the room with me. The remote I hear is the worst. Followed up only by the bed spread. And when you think about it, when is the last time you saw the maid put that bed spread in her little laundry cart? And what's the first thing that you do when you go into a hotel room? A gentle back-flip onto that filthy germ catcher.
So, of course, the remote was gross. So, I stuck with HBO all night, for fear that if I changed the channel, I would get that bird flu that is goin' around... or something worse! Good thing that "Inside The NFL" was on and I could learn about what the Vikings have been doing since they reached dry land.
I actually passed out around midnight, so I got a decent night's sleep. I learned that the car repair place opened at 8, so I had my wake up call at that time. I placed a call to them at 8:03 to see how my car was coming. The lady at the front let me know that they had just opened and it would be a while before they could get to it. But, shouldn't be more than a half-hour.
So, I stumbled to the shower. Has anyone else noticed how stingy hotels/motels are getting with the soaps and stuff? I had one for the sink and one for the shower. I remember a day where they would give you 50 on a silver platter with a midget that would help you lather. Now, they give you two credit card sized slivers of was probably mashed up soap from the folks before you. And it doesn't do much but leave your body coated with some sort of protective film? At least, I assume it's protective.
And whoever designed the shampoo that comes in the same packaging that mustard comes in is out of their freakin' mind insane. I spent a good 10 minutes trying to open that thing. When your hands are wet, good luck with that fella. So, I began gnawing on it like a squirrel with hopes to puncture open this impenetrable package. And when it finally opened, I got a mouthful of shampoo. I wished that I had some sort of warning for that one. Because, still now everything has somewhat of a soapy taste to it. I was spittin' bubbles for a minute there.
Well, I went to get my stuff in order when I saw the card in the room that said "free continental breakfast" before 10. Rock on. It was 9:45; I could still make it. I went to the pathetically tiny lobby area to find nothing set up. And it looked as if nothing had ever been set up. So, I checked my e-mail and was about to post here when crazy North tooth tow truck driver guy showed up at the counter looking for me.
So, I hopped in his 1974 Ford pick-up truck with the 35-foot wide front seat. and we headed out to the service station. This place was top notch. And it was one stop shopping. While I waited for my car to be fixed, I watched a newly wed couple get their first F.O.I.D. cards together. How sweet. The sign on the wall let me know that you could get hunting and fishing licenses as well. I didn't dare ask about drivers licenses for fear that the picture taken would be with the same Polaroid camera that was used for the F.O.I.D. cards. And that can't be legal. The owner of the place was also the owner of the movie theater in town, so at my feet sat "Red Eye" in its canister waiting to go back to the distributor.
I paid my $212 bill shortly after hearing about how small this town was. (I think the total population was 35 people and a goat.) Then it was down the gravel road to the highway where I was finally able to make it up to civilization shortly after noon.

It's Always Something

So, I was driving up to Bolingbrook to meet up with everyone last night talking with a Verizon rep about my bill. I tried to understand what it was that she was saying about my charges. With the $10.08 here and the $214.18 remaining balance and then the additional $9.99 for text messaging and all sorts of other confusing numbers, both of us were confusing each other. And SHE was the one with all the info on the screen! So as she's about to rip her hair out, I'm trying to end the call because my "check engine" light came on. So did this light that stands for fluids and battery. (Which is convenient for pinpointing a problem) Finally, I ease her pain by just saying "Do what you got to do and I'll look at it online later." She seemed content with this, gave the mandatory closing of something like "never stop working for you," or something and I slammed closed my phone. This was before I had the opportunity to ask about the hands free phone pictured above.
So, I pull off to a gas station to see what I can see. I checked all the fluids, and they seemed to be fine. And the battery is only 2 months old, so it couldn't possibly be that! So, I progressed down the road.It wasn't 15 miles later that my power steering went out. Which is hard to determine when driving on I-57, it being so straight you wish for some sort of steering control similar to cruise control so you can doze though the boring parts. (Heck, there isn't anything BUT boring parts!)So, shortly after that, electrical aspects of the car started dying off as if the car was possessed. First the radio, then the dash lights, then the windshield wipers, and the headlights began to dim. The car lurched forward and then died as I was coasting down the road. So, I curse. A lot. I even make up new ones. I get so frustrated I dial 911. I remembered that even in poor cell areas that 911 works and it is a priority call. I couldn't see any city lights, so I assumed that I was in a poor cell area. Hell, these people were probably just two steps above Amish.
So, after I figured I pay for 911 service each month on my cell phone, it's about time that I make use of it, I got the operator to send a cop to me. Half-hour later, he arrives. Can you tell me that for 30 miles in either direction there wasn't a single state cop? How could this be? And if there was, what kind of crimes was he preventing? Cow tipping? Water tower spray painting?So, I hop in his cruiser, he radios for a truck and tells me that they'll take it to a place that he has his own car worked on. "Great. Thanks." And at this point I realize that there isn't a shop open at 10pm that will fix this, I need to spend the night in... Where are we? Gilman Illinois? Great. The producer of Regis & Kelly has his own town of a whopping 1500!So, he runs my plates while we wait. Formality? Nope, he was just bored. Found out that my license plates were expired and my drivers license was expired. AND this would be my 3rd and 4th moving violation in the past year meaning that I was sure to be arrested.
When it rains, it pours.
He started writing on his little pad making small talk. "So, what do you do?" "Currently? Avoiding cops at all costs." I wish I had just dialed 411 instead now. He had me sign his yellow paper and handed it to me. "I am giving you a warning for both of them. You've had a tough enough time tonight." Wow. An Illinois State Cop who wasn't a dick. Amazing. I thanked him and we waited for the tow truck. He played solitaire on his little cop computer in the car. I watched wanting to let him know that the black 8 would fit perfectly on the - ok, shuffle the deck again. Nice to see that your level of reasoning and deduction as a police officer is flawless. I guess I shouldn't be so mean, he didn't haul me off.

The adventure has just begun. More details in my next post!

Is It Just Me?

Anyone else hear that Green Acers took place in "Hooterville" only to be dissapointed after watching a few episodes?

Details on last night coming soon.


One More

Forgot about Stephanie. Make that four tonight. I mean, I don't see anything wrong with it. There has never been a time in my life that I wasn't seeing at least two women at a time. Except my first one. They all over lap to a certain degree. It's not like I'm in a committed relationship with any of these girls! Oh well. What do you think?

You Tell Me

So, tonight I am meeting up with three different girls at a bar. (of course they are going to be different, they're not conjoined or anything) And neither of the other two know that I'm going to be there for the other one. I figure the best one at the end of the night will win me. Or, perhaps there will be more than one winner.
Anyway, told this in passing to our secretary who said that my mini-Elimidate experiment is wrong and that I'm a pig. I don't think so. It would be as if they are all at the same bar and I hit on them each separately.
I don't know, I'm looking forward to it. It should be an enjoyable evening for me... and maybe for them too.

More posts to come. Especially on how well this worked... if it does!

A Wedding and Farts

Damnit! I had a great post here, but the site never posted it. Got the "page can't be found" error. Damn! Anyway, today is a new day. A rainy one at that, but still a new day. I'm pretty psyched about tonight. Going to Bolingbrook for Kareokee and meeting up with a few new girls that I've never met before. Figure I'd meet up with 3 or 4 and whoever wins, I'll accept their number. If there is a tie, the investment of a jello wrestling ring will finally pay off.
And I'm staying out until all hours of the night with the lucky winner(s) because I don't have a damn thing to do tomorrow other than get my tux for my friend's wedding and go to the rehearsal. Then we practice the reception afterwards at several Naperville establishments. At least, that's the plan for now.
Then Saturday all I have to do is walk down an aisle, stand straight and try not to laugh. Not that anything will be funny, but in serious situations it is hard for me to keep a straight face. I think it is the restrictions of the situation itself that I find funny. It's as if I told you not to think about a zebra. You picturing a zebra? Thought you were.
Church as a kid was rough. My sister and I knew that we weren't supposed to laugh, but the fact that we couldn't would get us goin'. I'd make her laugh or she would try to get me. And all we needed was the old man a few pews ahead of us to blow his nose weird and we were gone.
Why don't people laugh as much as they get older? With each year, people get more and more serious and don't laugh or enjoy life as much as they did as kids. That's a damn shame. My friend Josh is dating a girl with a 4 year old. The kid laughs ALL THE TIME! It gets a little annoying after a while. Until he bumps his head and begins crying, then you pray for the laughing to come back.
So, I find reasons to laugh. I watch Comedy Central, enjoy comedic movies. Hang out with enjoyable people. People who, like myself, still find farts, snot and poop funny. Once you loose that, you don't have a full life.
Oh, well. Guess I should get back to work so I can leave on time. And, oh yeah, Joelle, The Cubs? I can't believe you. I thought I knew you. GO SOX! GO BEARS! God Bless!


Life... As Of Now

So, I have been thinking a lot about what I want. This is my current thoughts on life. On October 9th, I came into Effingham and stayed up all night praying and thinking. Thinking and praying. Trying to figure out what my next option was, because I'm sick of Effingham. (more details on that later) I realized that I had the ability to quit my job. Heck, I can do that any time I want. But, then what is my next option? Well, I need to make options. I was taught to wish on stars recently and realize now, that it is more effective to grab 'em. I needed to give myself options by getting up off my ass and doing something about it. I didn't go out two nights that week to create a demo tape. I then sent it out to six stations. I wasn't being pro-active. I wasn't moving forward. I was remaining still and bitching. And that doesn't solve anything. While I haven't gotten anything back from them yet, at least I'm looking forward. I'm moving forward. And that's what's important. So, wish me luck as I do my best to make my world the best that it can be. I'm putting it all on my shoulders, and I'm fine with that. Any animal, including man, has two options in life when faced with an issue - fight or flight. I've started the fight. I'm done with the flight, or remaining still and taking it. I'd been looking for a fight, and now I'm taking on the world, and not stopping until it's exactly the way I want it to be. Best of luck to you, friend. Hope you're doin' the same thing!

Word Verification

There is a great deal of spam that ends up in the "comments" section. That is why I have set up a word verification aspect to things. That should keep the rif-raf out. And while it may be a 20 second hindrance to voicing your opinion on my blog, I think you'll survive.
Just thought that I would explain why that's there.