John Mc

This is a collection of my thoughts. Some of the thoughts that I once had, I no longer do. Some thoughts I have now I have never had. Yet none shal be discounted. This blog is soley for the enjoyment of the author and the readers. On occasion the views expressed are overly exagerated in order to prove a point. Also there may be a dirty word or thought in some of the posts. Grow up and take this for what it's worth - a blog that barely anyone will ever see.

8/21/2008

Worst Wedding Guest EVER

A few weeks ago I was DJing a wedding where the bride and groom only had roughly 8 requests. Usually, if they have awful requests (Which most do) then I pretend that we didn't have time to get to them all. In this case, with only 8, I pretty much had to play them all.
Luckily they had a really good crowd for dancing. Pretty much everyone was into whatever I played. What worked well seemed to be modern rap. I don't know why, I think that it is mainly insulting. Not just to women and stuff, but to the general intelligence of the audience. With some exceptions. Jay-Z is amazing. Why him? I don't know. There just seems to be more of a message than "We got sum drinks, we drunk 'em and got drunk." (This is an actual paraphrased lyric from some dumbass song that the bride and groom wanted to hear.) Right after I played the Jamie Fox song "Gold Digga." The crowd of people on the dancefloor went nuts and continued their dancing. I am a musical genius. Or at least I thought.
It was then that a woman came up beside me to ask "Are you the worst F-ing DJ in the world?" However she didn't say "F-ing," she let the expletives fly.
Without missing a beat, I turned to her and said "Yes. Yes I am. What can I do for you?"
She was slightly taken a back by my comment which I used to see if she was kidding or not. I soon realized she was not. "Turn this S off!" She screamed into my ear. "This music is awful. It is for druggies and low-lifes." I knew what she really meant. She was doing everything to not be a "racist," but still maintaining "bitch."
"I'm not turning this off." I let her know.
"No one can dance to this S! This is BS!"
It was then that I looked her right in the eye and then out to the dancefloor and back to her. At this point there were so many people on the dancefloor that people were dancing on the side of it. This surely was one of my most populous crowds of the entire wedding season thus far. "It seems like THEY have found a way to dance to it." I said this in the most sarcastic, almost cartoon-like manner I could to show how childish she was being.
She stormed off. Only to stop at the edge of my table and yell "SOMETHING TO DANCE TO!!!" She then flailed her arms and legs worse than Elane Bennis. I thought to myself "If she is going to dance like that to 'Men Without Hats' or whatever it is she would rather I play, I think that I've made the right choice with 'Gold Digga.'"
I assumed she was done. I was wrong. She came back up to me moments later saying "Turn this S off! It's only for druggies!" (By the way, who uses the term "druggies?" It seems a bit ridiculous. Like when you are teaching a toddler their animals you have the duckies, the doggies and the druggies?) I had enough. I told her that if she could get the bride and the groom to tell me personally to shut off this music, I would do it.
Her drunken ass looked at them and wobbled a bit as she turned to look at me again. "They told me to come over here."
"No they didn't. This was their request."
"Then they are druggies too!" She then stumbled a bit to the end of the table before she attempted to get one more dig in. "You are the worst F-in' DJ EVER."
I had pretty much had it at this point. I'm trying to make sure someone's wedding is flawless and this drunk bitch is yelling in my ear. In 11 years, I have never cursed in front of a wedding guest. Yet, this one pushed me over the edge.
"Listen up! In my 11 years of doing this, you are the worst F-in' wedding guest ever. You are going to shut the F up and sit the F down."
She stared at me, backed away and drunkenly stomped off to her seat. Probably to nag her husband who was enjoying a few minutes of quiet while she bothered me.
What would possess someone to do something like that? Who the hell do they think they are? I don't care if you are the bride's aunt's sister's hairdresser. You don't have enough clout to be a pain in the ass. That's reserved for the bride and/or her mother usually.
I never saw her again for the rest of the night. So, score one for me. And the druggies.

2 Comments:

  • At 9:47 PM, Anonymous Chadley said…

    Whenever I get a request like this at MY gigs, I make it a point to announce that we are going to switch things up, this ones going out to "enter name here" who wants to dance to a little Michael Bolton...

    and then shine a light on her and watch the floor spread...as she sits in embarrassment. Hey, people need breaks from the dancing to go to the bathroom, refill their drink, smoke a cigarette, purchase contraceptives, and the occasional family brawl in the parking lot, so might as well give them that natural break, while having a little fun at some moron's expense. It never fails they leave you alone. But always get them to commit that they will be dancing to it front and center before you play it...so you can get those suckas good!!!

     
  • At 1:46 AM, Blogger John Mc. said…

    You remind me of a great story that I wish I could take as mine. It is the "Baby Got Back At Prom" story. I will have to post that sometime soon. It is golden and goes well with what you are saying.
    Normally, I would try to please everyone there, however this woman was the reason for the term "bitch" and I wasn't about to do whatever she wanted. Infact, the exact opposite had to be right. (I guess in this circumstance she was not only Elane with her dancing, but also George with her decision making.)
    Therefore, should she have selected a song that I was seconds away from playing, that song would have been switched out for some Barry Manalow (Not to hate on the man who makes the songs that make the young girls cry) or something exactly the opposite of her request.
    Thanks to Chad, however, the post of "Baby Got Back At Prom" shal be up in the next week or so.

     

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