John Mc

This is a collection of my thoughts. Some of the thoughts that I once had, I no longer do. Some thoughts I have now I have never had. Yet none shal be discounted. This blog is soley for the enjoyment of the author and the readers. On occasion the views expressed are overly exagerated in order to prove a point. Also there may be a dirty word or thought in some of the posts. Grow up and take this for what it's worth - a blog that barely anyone will ever see.

11/10/2005

Trick For Treat?

Just thinkin’ about “the line.” The line that women have to walk in the dating world. The line separates them from girlfriend and prostitute. Yup. Think about it. If a man buys them something nice like jewelry or something, they feel compelled to repay him. But, while that is the obvious example, it starts even earlier than that. It starts in the bar the first time that they meet. A man buys a woman a drink in order to talk to her. She now feels she should at least talk to him while she enjoys the drink. Therefore, he is essentially buying her time. Just like a hooker. Extreme comparison? Perhaps.
How does a woman avoid this? How do we all avoid this? It’s easy. I figured it out, as have many. I will not give a woman anything that doesn’t have meaning behind it. I will not step behind the Tiffany’s counter or even the Wal-Mart jewelry counter unless I feel I want to give her something that is a symbol of something else. I would rather give them something of sentiment than something of purpose. Meaning a CD of songs that mean something to us, a candle that burned on our first date or something that I wrote for her. The only jewelry that I’ll probably buy is that special ring.
I had a friend who had a boyfriend that bought her things left and right. Her friends told her to take advantage of the situation as much as possible. She felt uncomfortable accepting a X-Box from him, a guitar and all sorts of other things. She stayed with him out of guilt, not out of love. Isn’t that the purpose of everything anyway?! Should that be the bond, not the constant balance of “if he did this, she must do this,” “if he bought her this, she should stay with him this much longer,” etc. Again, he’s renting her time! And she probably respects him a lot less than if he was able to keep her based solely on who he is as a person?
Random gifts are an example of someone without much substance or who is inexperienced with the world of dating or perhaps just has a low self-esteem, which is not appealing at all anyway. Women have to be careful not to waver on the line that they walk with what they accept (material and non-tangible) in relationships. I feel sorry for them having to do this thanks to our society’s expectations on them and courtship in general. But, good luck out there, friends. Most of us get it.

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