Man Laws

I really dig those Miller Lite Man Law commercials. They have Triple H, Jerome Bettis and Burt Freakin' Reynolds behind "The Square Table" and they determine the newest of Man Laws. This is the code of ethics by which all men behave. Such as when you bring beer to a party, once it makes contact with the ice in the host's cooler, it becomes the property of that host.There is a website that I have recently become addicted to known as www.manlaws.com There you are able to write your own man laws and debate the validity of others. Here are some of the ones that I found and came up with:

MEN ARE COMPOSED OF THREE THINGS (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER) BEER, WOMEN AND SPORTS. ALL OTHER ASPECTS OF LIFE ARE JUST OBSITCALS TO GET MORE OF THE KEY THREE.

NO WINE COOLERS

ALL INJURIES CAN BE HEALED BY “WALKING IT OFF” OR BY “RUBBING SOME DIRT ON IT.”
GRILLING, REGARLESS OF THE WEATHER, SHOULD ALWAYS BE THE FIRST CHOICE FOR COOKING.

WHEN SEEING A MOVIE WITH ANOTHER MAN, A REQUIRED “BUFFER SEAT” MUST BE OBSERVED. AND DON’T EVER CALL IT “GOING TO THE CINEMA.”

SHOULD SOMEONE DRINK FROM YOUR BEER, IT IS NOW THEIRS AND YOU MUST GET A NEW ONE.

A MAN SHOULD NEVER WEAR CHAMPIONSHIP CLOTHING WITHOUT PRIOR VERIFICATION OF TEAM ALEGANCE BEFORE SAID CHAMPIONSHIP

A MAN’S GARAGE IS FOR TOOLS, NOT FOR FAKE CHRISTMAS TREES

NO MAN SHOULD ABANDON THEIR TEAM, NO MATTER HOW BAD THEY ARE.

A MAN PURSE IS STILL A PURSE.

A MAN NEVER CROSSES HIS LEGS UNLESS THE ANKLE AND KNEE MAKE CONTACT OR BOTH ANKLES. NEVER SHOULD KNEES BE ABLE TO TOUCH.

YES, NO AND OK ARE PERFECTLY GOOD ANSWERS TO ANY QUESTION.

YOU MUST BE IN ATTENDANCE AT ONE SPORTING EVENT EACH YEAR. YOUR KID’S GAME DOES NOT COUNT. YOU MUST BE ABLE TO DRINK BEER THERE.

WHEN APPROACHING ANOTHER MAN WATCHING A SPORTING EVENT, IT IS OK TO ASK THEM THE SCORE, BUT NEVER WHO IS PLAYING.

YOU SHOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO IDENTIFY A BRAND OF CLOTHING WITHOUT LOOKING AT THE TAG ON THE BACK.

NEVER SHOULD YOU USE THE URINAL NEXT TO ANOTHER MAN. IF THERE ARE 5 OPEN URINALS IN THE BATHROOM, YOU GO TO NUMBER ONE, THEN THE NEXT PERSON GOES TO NUMBER FIVE. THEN NUMBER THREE. FROM THERE, THE STALLS. AND IF IN AN EMERGENCY, THE SINKS. URINALS 2 & 4 WILL NEVER BE USED. EVEN IF YOU ARE THE FIRST ONE IN THE BATHROOM, YOU DO NOT USE THESE. YOU NEVER KNOW HOW LONG YOU WILL BE IN THERE ALONE.

EYES FORWARD AT ALL TIMES IN THE BATHROOM.

SHOULD YOUR NEIGHBOR BE WORKING ON HIS CAR OR AN INTERESTING HOME FIX-IT PROJECT, YOU ARE OBLIGATED TO OFFER TO HELP AND STAY WITHIN 10 FEET OF THE PROJECT FOR A DECENT AMOUNT OF TIME.

THERE WILL BE NO CONVERSATION IN THE BATHROOM UNLESS IT IS SHORT, BRIEF AND ABSOLUTLY NECESSARY. SUCH AS DISCUSSING THE "GAME PLAN." HERE'S AN EXAMPLE:
"KAREN INTO ME?"
"YEAH. SHE JUST TOLD SUE. YOU'RE IN."
"COOL. THANKS."

NO CELL PHONES IN THE BATHROOM EVER. IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A QUIET PLACE TO TALK, GO OUTSIDE.

Add some of your own. Leave a comment with 'em. Enjoy! It's my gift from me to you... well Miller Lite had a little something to do with it...