Random Thoughts

How the hell did we get stuff so clean without Oxi? Everything now from our laundry to dishes to floors to pets get clean with some Oxi product. Were they not clean before and we were fooling ourselves into a false state of clean? Do you think Rush Limbaugh buys Oxi products after his Oxycontin incident? He probably just uses Lysol.
Have you seen that spokes lady for Lysol? I haven't seen her recently, but she was always happy about that "pine-fresh" scent that Lysol gave ya. What I didn't understand is who was the advertising exec who decided a big fat black woman with a gap so big in her teeth Letterman, Madonna and Michael Strayhand all said "Damn, that's huge" would be a good pitch woman for the job?
I have never looked at the produce section of my supermarket and said "What great juice combinations can I come up with?" If I want fruit juice, I trust the experts at making it. I assume that they have done enough research to know what fruits go well together and that, when polled, the general population doesn't care much for Avocado Apple.
So, why the hell is that Juicer guy "Juiceman" so popular? Somewhere in the world at any given time, that weirdo with the eyebrows that are WAY out of control is pushing his juicer. And each version of it has a bigger hole to shove fruit into. In case you didn't have time to cut up the watermelon, we took care of that for you.
Why would you choose this guy as the guy you associate with your product. First of all, it is a product that assists with food preparation. I would choose someone less hairy than the Juiceman. (Most bears would even qualify.) Every time I had a smoothy from then on I would be checking for eyebrow hair... or worse!
I think he may have been the inventor and decided, well, since I made the product, I will be the one to promote it. 99% of the time, this is a bad idea. I hear commericals on the radio all the time from idiots who own a business and decide, "I will be the one who will be the star or the commercial." Trust me, it is better to have it professionally done.
All those pathetic commercials were obviously scribbled on a half sheet of legal pad paper at stoplights on the way into the radio station. They usually start with a stupid question like "Do you want to make more money?" or "Guys, is your sex life lagging?" or "Do you like monkeys?" Then it continues with the idiot introducing himself. "Hi, I'm Big Weirdo and I have developed a new product that will help you out."
I would like to meet one person - just ONE person - who heard that commercial and then picked up the phone because the guy introduced himself. "Geez, I wasn't sold until he told me his name."
Idiots.