John and Will Go To White Castle

So, I did something that I haven't done in a while. I ate at a White Castle. (Fun White Castle side-note: The exterior of White Castle was mirrored after the famous Chicago Water tower dispite it's beginings in Ohio in the 1930's. It was the only structure to survive the great Chicago fire. That same stone on the water tower can be found at Statesville in Joliet where both buildings were mined from.) Don't get me wrong, I order from there on a fairly regular basis. (About once, maybe twice a month.)
However, it is only once a year that I actually venture in behind the white lament walls. I have found that the reason it is about once a year is because it takes that long for me to forget my experience and think it is a good idea once again.
First, it is set up like two boxes, one inside the other. The center box is there all the magic happens. In there, the onions are grilled, the sliders are assembled and the chickens with a hole in them are raised.
The door we walked in had us walk to the left around the center box to place our order. Now, we ordered the hamburgers with the same number of chicken rings. Why? Thanks to a co-worker of mine, Larry. Larry introduced us to the "Chi-Cow" sandwich. (It's even fun to say. Use it as a term of excitement when something great happens: "Chi-COW!" See how great even the title is?)
The Chi-Cow sandwich requires minimal assembly on your behalf. Do not attempt this while driving. Slide the Chicken ring under the bun and onions, but right above the beef patty. Then enjoy the greatness of two animals that have never met, but will be forever united.
Thank Larry for the idea. Thank me for sharing it with you.
We find our seat after getting our nutritious meal. The booth seats are plastic. In most cases, the rivets for the supports are on the outside of the seat to provide a smooth surface for those using the booth.
Not in White Castle.
Either this was a poor design flaw, an accident or the seats needed to be double enforced due to the usual size of the standard White Castle visitor. Whatever the reason, it provided a very uncomfortable dining experience.
What didn't help was that the over-head speakers were set on some satellite channel that only played "The Worst of The 80'!" Songs that you haven't even THOUGHT about in years were on this channel. Songs that you had purposely deleted from your memory for fear that they would negatively effect your outlook on the world were displayed with pride due to this aural intrusion.
We then watched a guy walk in the same doors we walked in. He walked up to the inner box and stood there. He stared at the sign above him with his options. Then he looked through the plexi-glass windows at the in-shape beautiful people making sliders, then back up at the sign. He didn't seem to notice the sign with an arrow pointing him in the direction of where you place your order and pay for your grease. It is on that side of the inner box that there is also a door.
After roughly 3-5 minutes, (Who knows, because I doubt the element of time exists within the walls of White Castle!) the man took one more look at the beautiful specimens of humanity who have selected to serve the public in this much needed manner and then walked to his right. We assumed he had finally realized that his order was to be placed on the right side of the inner box. Instead he left though those doors then walked around the building to his car.
Why he didn't turn right around and save himself the steps, we may never know. Perhaps he had become disoriented by the heavenly scent of grilled onions? Could it be subliminal messages from Debbie Gipson? (Sorry, Deborah Gipson.) Or he could have just been another nut job that enjoys the slider as much as the rest of us.
All I know is that I will not be making the mistake of going into a White Castle again... this year.