Guilty Pleasure

We all have guilty pleasures. Mine is “Cheaters.” Man do I love that show. It’s like cops for lovers. As a matter of fact, before I go into the greatness that is “Cheaters,” I’ve noticed something that will help our law enforcement out in the future. I have been watching “Cops” for nearly two decades now. Not that I set my VCR (No, I don’t have a Tivo yet) for it each week or anything. I catch it by accident, really. But, I have noticed something that should make their jobs a helluva lot easier: Look for the guy without a shirt. He’s usually guilty of something. Check his pockets, there is usually drugs in there. If not, he has probably beat a woman recently or owns an illegal fire arm. Essentially arrest him and ask questions later. He’s so dumb, he’ll admit things that you didn’t even know he did.
Man do I love “Cops.” It is my second favorite reality show behind “Cheaters.” I love the episodes with the drunks. (Which is nearly every episode.) They threaten to fight the cops (never a good idea) or are without pants or will even read the rights to themselves. “I know opesir. I have... oh. I gots da right to remain silent. Things I do and say will be brought to me with a case of slaw.” And there is always the police chace that ends with the suspect slamming on the breaks, diving out of the car and the out of shape police officer has to tackle him and then complain about having to run. Genious! Long live “Cops!” (as a small side-note, did you know that everyone must sign a release form to have their face on TV? When you see a dumb criminal on TV, they have signed on the dotted line - WHILE SOBER! Idiots!)
Anyway, going back to “Cheaters.” What an incredible show. If you are unfamiliar with “Cheaters,” you are missing out on life. Well, on low-life’s lives. The whole premise of the show is someone feels that their mate is cheating on them. So, private investigators trail their significant other for a few weeks. Their servaliance is recorded on video tape and then brought to the origional person who contacted the show in the first place. Here’s where Joey Greco comes into play. Greco is the show’s host. They had a diffrent host to start the program, but then switched it up with Greco. Apparently he was more snake-like. He shows them the video tape and presents it in such a way that the emotions of the innocent person HAVE to be manipulated. His phrazing and tone enrage and upset the poor person in such a way that revenge is the only solution. This makes for great TV.
Now comes “The Confrentation” after a commercial break. About a dozen vans of trained camera men and boom operators close in on the cheating spouse being caught red handed. This is when the pay off comes. The fists fly, insults are exhanged and the third party has the opportunity to play the “I didn’t know you were seeing someone/married” card. They do their best to flee the scene.
In the most recent episode, this blonde chick (the third party) said she didn’t know that the guy was seeing someone and ran out of the house without her pants. Several of the camera crews followed her running down the street. A kind car stopped by the side of the road and picked her up. It spead off for a few blocks and came to a hault. The woman then jumped out of the car screaming “I’m no hooker! I will not do that!” Priceless.
There are usually two stories an episode. Each has a recap at the end where we find out if the origional couple has tried to work things out or has completly broken up. But, one of the best parts of the show is that they offer their own online dating service. I’m not making this stuff up. The TV show “Cheaters” has their own online dating service at www.nocheaters.com Can you imagine finding your soulmate on there? At family functions you’d be asked where you found your new girlfriend. “On the internet.” “Oh. Where? Match.com? E-Harmony?” “Nope. Joey Greco’s No Cheater’s site.” “Oh... well, good for you... pass the mashed potatoes.”
Wow. What a great show. What a slimey host. What a stupid way to waste an hour. Enjoy it on me.