John Mc

This is a collection of my thoughts. Some of the thoughts that I once had, I no longer do. Some thoughts I have now I have never had. Yet none shal be discounted. This blog is soley for the enjoyment of the author and the readers. On occasion the views expressed are overly exagerated in order to prove a point. Also there may be a dirty word or thought in some of the posts. Grow up and take this for what it's worth - a blog that barely anyone will ever see.


Tampon Over Troubled Waters

So, when you are watching a TV show, the commercials are geared toward the demographic that advertisers are assuming make up majority of the audience. That’s why you see beer commercials during football and make-up commercials during “The View.” If you watch that liberal biased gab fest.
So, I don’t know how I saw this particular commercial, but I did. Maybe it’s because I like E’s “The Soup” or “The Ellen Degenerous Show” (Hey, she’s one of the few female comics that I actually find funny. So back off.) or it might be something else completely different, but I saw it. It hasn’t been on for a while, I’m assuming because of all the complaints that it probably got, but if you saw it even ONCE, it is forever stuck in your mind. The commercial that I’m talking about is a tampon commercial.
Let me set the scene for you. A couple is in a boat (you know which one I’m talking about if you’ve seen it by just those six little words) and they are obviously on a date. The guy is going on about what a perfect day it is until soon they realize that their little row boat has sprung a leak. They guy panics and tries to calm the girl down. He reaches behind him to get his tool box to fix the situation before they are at the bottom of the lake. The girl (probably from her Girl Scout training or something) thinks quickly and pulls a tampon out of her purse and plugs the hole in the bottom of the boat. We watch the thing expand to the size of the hole creating the air-tight seal that they were going for.
I swear to you, I’m not making this up.
Let’s take a few steps back and examine what has happened here. First they are on a date. They obviously aren’t too far into their relationship if the guy is still doing romantic stuff for her like this (let’s face it, we start running out of ideas by the third or fourth month). So, they are both trying to put their best foot forward for each other. Dispite the fact that this was a desperate time, her impulsive thinking lacked any regard for tact. I don’t care how long I have known a woman, I like to pretend that her “time of the month” doesn’t exist. I know I’m fooling myself, but its a world that I enjoy more than the real one. By her busting out this tampon in their time of need like a McGuyver with overies, she has done nothing but make a potentially dangerous situation into a complex and awkward one. We won’t even go into how de-maculating this action was because it works on so many levels.
I have to admit, I don’t know what I’d do in this situation. I might swim for shore or encourage her to do so with a gentle nudge below her center of gravity. In any event, the date is over - and probably the relationship. Why? Because she has proved herself insane.
And just how bad does she have it that her tampons have the same absorbency as an entire warehouse of Bounty? And apparently the sealant qualities of industrial strength caulk. This type of PMS is where wars come from.
Let’s be honest - why do we even HAVE tampon commercials? Most women know that they need to have ‘em and already know what brand they are going for. Are there really women out there who visit the doctor once a month wondering what the hell is wrong with them? Do we need commercials informing the female public what their solution is to this problem? I’m just glad that they use blue water in their demonstrations. I’m actually quite surprised that those demonstrations don’t confuse the hell out of the male viewers.All these commercials are doing is trying to draw me out of my dream world. Especially this one. And I don’t like it.


  • At 10:19 AM, Blogger Looney73 said…

    That commercial has long bothered me as well! I understand companies have the right to advertise their products (afterall, my job us marketing), but do so with a little tact, especially towards the male audience who is going to inadvertantly see cheesy ads like this. I mean come on, would a woman REALLY have used her tampon to fix this leak? Let's hear some femals opinions on this...

  • At 3:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Oh John. You and my dad. Pretending it doesn't exist. Grow up. *Wink wink


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