New Blog

I will be back to blogging here, I promise. But, until then, I have started a new project. I will be writing as many fake news stories as I can come up with and releasing them at 9 AM each day. (Kinda like "The Onion.") I already have the first week ready to post.
The first article is up now, and is rather timely. I highly recommend you follow my new blog as well as this one for such stories as "Revelations In Osama's Diary," "What's Up With The Sox?!" and "A Moment Of Terror With Obama!"

Check it out:
http://johnmcjournal.blogspot.com/

Thanks for following both. And please post the stories on my new blog on your Facebook page to gain some popularity. I appreciate it!

-John Mc.

New Venture (Not the store from the 80's)

I haven't posted on here in a while. As a matter of fact, maybe I will make it one of my New Years Resolutions to post SOMETHING each week. That shouldn't be too hard to do!
I wanted to let you know about my new project:

Click Here

It is a way to explore some elements of my creative side. While experimenting with the strange world of "Vlogging." I have teamed up with a dude named Matt who I met while working at one of the restaurants I have been employed at. He's the one responsible for all the camera tricks.

So, essentially, continue to check on things here (if you still do) and also check out my new YouTube site.

Thanks!
-John Mc.

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

John Mc On Stage

Again, too long since I posted. A few things that I found interesting. Someone posted that they found my B52's post to be too mean. How incredibly lame. To check out that post and their comments, click here.
On with my Second City adventure - I picked up Second City with Level C. I went all the way through with the program without stopping at this point. I had found a class that I had gelled with once again, as I had Level A.
Our Level C instructor was groovy. She was the Sabrina that I mentioned earlier. And to my knowledge, commented on my blog? She helped us see the foundation of what we were doing. And helped us get rid of some whiskey.
Levels D and E were good, but not great. The instructors (who will remain nameless) were decent, but didn't do much other than pick up a paycheck. Our final instructor (For Level E) even said "I'm not going to instruct you. You have made it this far and should already know what you are doing." This is true. After a year of improv, we should know what to do. However, some folks needed direction. Other folks desired direction. He refused to offer either.
Needless to say, it is a shame that our last two classes at Second City seemed like a waste. But, you must take the good with the bad.
What I have done onstage for Second City is a part of an ensemble. Yet, I have compiled the complete work of me on stage into one package. Don't tell anyone, I think it goes against everything that we have been taught there! The following is the complete work of me on stage at Second City, thus far. (The reason for the delay in my posting this is because it has taken me this long to put this together and then have YouTube tell me that it is too long so I needed to re-edit it into 3 separate pieces. Stupid YouTube! Don't you know that you are going to get the same amount, if not more content if you don't accept my long-form videos?!)

Making Stuff Up Part One

It has been too long since I've posted. I'm sorry about that. I promised a good friend on Sunday that I would post again this week, so here I am. (I hope The Big D is kind to you!)
I have had much occur in the past year or so that has gone undocumented.
First and foremost, I tried my hand at improv. It is something that I had been meaning to do for a long time and finally decided to go for it. The way it went down was rather ambitious on my part, if I do say so myself.
A good friend of mine agreed to do the improv training course at Second City with me a while ago. We kept on missing the open registration for classes. Each time one of us thought about it, we would check Second City's website and then realize that we had missed the sign up by a few days and the new session had begun. Unfortunately this went on for a good half a year or so.
Finally, I was able to find the enrollment period. I told my friend that we should both sign up. She, being a teacher, told me of her long days and questioned whether or not she would have the time to dedicate to the program.
So, I put it off again until summer of 2008. I told her again of the sign-up period. She told me of her summer tutoring that she was involved in and wanted to wait until next time. I decided that this was my time. This was when I was going to give it a shot.
So, I went for it. I had NO idea what I was getting into, but figured it would be worth the adventure. I was right. It all started in a small L-Shaped room in the back of the training center. It was me and 9 other aspiring improvisers.
Our teacher was a great man by the name of Brian Possen. If you ever have the opportunity to check out his show "Cupid Has A Heart On" at The iO Theater in Chicago, I highly recommend it! He was the perfect person to start us off on our journey. While Level A was rather frustrating, he made it fun. There was a great deal of "Wax On, Wax Off" kind of work in the class. It was pretty apparent what we were learning and the reason why, but we were all anxious to put our newly found skills to work.
Possen also told us on the first day of class that the schedule may say the class ends at 9:30, but that's not the case. After class we were told to go across the street to have a pint with our classmates and discuss what we had learned. Then, pay the tab and head back to Second City to see the free improv that they have at 10:00. Then, back to the pub to compare notes and see where what we learned was used in the show.
It was a brilliant suggestion that paid off greatly. Not only did it reinforce what we had learned in class, but it encouraged us to grow closer as a group of newly budding improvisers!
The way Second City's training center works is that there are 5 levels - A through E. With each level, your skills are supposed to build upon the previous level and expand from there. It is a rather well devised system.
Due to financial concerns, I stopped after Level A. This was a hard thing to do, but I had just moved to a new apartment and was strapped for cash. It would be two semesters before I got back into the improv world. Since then, those that stuck with my original class had continued on while I sat on the sidelines. I even went to one of their shows. While it was awesome to see the same people that I had played with in class on stage, it hurt a little bit knowing that I could have been up there with them, had I had the opportunity to do so.
I got back on the horse and started up the classes again. One more semester of Level B and then I needed to stop. Once again, money was the main concern. Plus I had just added another course at the college and I had to focus on writing and teaching that course. The timing was just bad. This time, though, I only took off one semester and decided that I would ride out the rest of the levels in order. Level C started the summer of 2009 for me and I went straight through to Level E.
While there will always be some degree of regret that I never got to join the stage with my original class and some of the great performers like the great Liz Grossman, (Her blog "Elizabites" is available on the right of this page.) I feel that there was a reason that I got to work with the class that I did.
At the end of Level C, you get to do roughly a 15 minute show. Level D gave you a 30 minute show and the grand finale' was Level E with a show for nearly an hour.
Over the course of the next few days, I will let you in on a few of the behind-the-scenes moments of these shows, the preparation and some stories about the improv prep that we did as a class and the instructors that we had.
What you will see in the video below is my first time on stage. This was right after my Level C class. It is this group of people that I stuck with throughout the remainder of my Second City Training Center experience.
You'll note that some are good, some are not-so-good. But, the way the training center works is that if your check clears, then you are free to continue. There is no bearing on skill level to determine your progress through the program. Plus, keep in mind, this is the first time that many of us were ever on stage! We were all a bit nervous.
The "Announcer" or "Host" is our instructor Sabrina Harper. She was great. She really understood how to notice our weaknesses and correct them before they became habits. She also was great at praising our strengths and encouraging those to come to the surface. Harper was passionate without being overbearing. Essentially, she let us know that playtime was over and we were about to learn the real ins and outs of being true improvisers. All-in-all, she embodied exactly what we needed at that time.

Without any further ado, here is the first time that I was ever on stage:

Week 2 Picks

MIN over DET
TEN over TX
ATL over CAR
NO over PHI (First upset of the week)
JAX over ARI
OAK over KC (The first - who cares game - of the season!)
GB over CIN (It's a shame, but true.)
NYJ over NE (Upset number two.)
WASH over STL
TB over BUF
SEA over SF (Upset three!)
BAL over SD
DEN over CLE
CHI over PIT (PLEASE?! Although, PIT is 9-1 at Chicago in their past 10 meetings)
DAL over NYG (OOOH! A good NFL primetime game? Who knew they could do it?! This should be a good one tonight.)
IND over MIA (I spoke too soon.)

Week One!

It has been WAY too long. So much has happened to tell you about. Plus I just did another weird-ass wedding last night. All this and more in the next few days.
Until then, it is that time of year again - Football Season!
Here are my picks for the first week:

PIT over TEN
DAL over TB
NO over DET
JAX over IND (Upset one)
HOU over NYJ
MIN over CLE (MIN is going to be rough this year. But, not as bad as GB.)
DEN over CIN (Upset two!)
PHI over CAR
BAL over KC
ATL over MIA
SEA over STL
NYG over WASH
ARI over SF
CHI over GB (Shouldn't be an upset, but it is!)
NE over BUF
SD over OAK

SD and OAK as a Monday night game?! How lame. The NFL is starting to disappoint early on this year.
Have a great football season!

First Climate Change Prediction That Came True!

Recently our out-of-control government has suggested something that I predicted almost two years ago to the date. (Kind of scary, right?)
First, the Democrats have spent a great deal of time talking about how awful America is and how we are responsible for "climate change." It is due to our awful use of carbon that we are solely responsible for this extreme disruption in the Earth's climate. When in reality, this couldn't be further from the truth.
What this will allow, however is for the left to make some money off the paranoia of the ignorant. Carbon credits go into the pockets of the Democrats that sold you the Snake Oil in the first place. This scare will also allow them to control the industry of the greatest nation in the world. If you don't play ball, you must pay us in their new "Cap And Tax" scheme. (Click here for their propaganda. And click here for an accurate opinion of it.)
Like I said, two years ago I predicted this. I have never re-posted anything before, but I think that this is important enough to be said twice considering today's environment of increasing spending and ignorance. Here is the original article that I published on this very blog on 07-09-07:


This weekend on 7-7-7, Al Gore and friends put on some big concerts with big name acts. They did this to raise awareness of Global Warming and Greenhouse Gases. It all seemed very legit and concerning. After all was said and done, they probably all patted themselves on the back for a job well done.
What they failed to tell the general population was that Global Warming is a bunch of crap. The Chicago Sun Times (of all papers) printed an article yesterday that points out many of the falsehoods of Al Gore's stance on this issue. It offers many direct correlations to the claims that he has made in his (Oscar-winning) movie and why they are false. To read the article, I encourage you to click here.
First, Gore and friends make a big deal out of Carbon Dioxide (CO2) emissions. However, these are not that big of a deal. Over the last 100 years, the level of CO2 has increased by 25 percent. While the greenhouse effect has increased around one percent. Since the beginning of the industrial age, CO2 went from 280 parts per million (ppm) to 365 ppm. (Prehistoric CO2 levels changed 100 million years ago they weren't 365 ppm, but instead 3,000-5,000 ppm. Plant and animal life was VERY abundant.) The main increase of CO2 occurred before 1940. Humans put seven billion tons of CO2 into the atmosphere each year. Nature does 200 billion tons in a year. Since then the increase in cars and global industry should have created a larger increase in the atmosphere's CO2. Instead, the results are not there. Where could it have gone? Several experts are suggesting that it is absorbed by plants for photosynthesis and the oceans. Dutch greenhouses, for example, routinely and deliberately triple their CO2 levels and crops respond with 20 to 40 percent yield increases. More than a thousand experiments with 475 crop plant varieties in 29 separate countries show that doubling the world's carbon dioxide would raise crop yields 52 percent. A raise in CO2 may be extremely beneficial for the global environment.
If there is a greenhouse effect, the main contributor would be water vapor. You do more damage to the environment boiling some hot dogs than you do driving your car.
Some feel that global warming may be a good thing. Between 900 ad and 1300 ad, the earth warmed by 4-7 degrees Fahrenheit. (We have increased global temperature roughly .5 degrees Celsius) This is almost exactly what the "computer models" are predicting for the 21st century. Written and oral history tells us that the warming created one of the most favorable periods in human history. Crops were plentiful, death rates diminished and trade and industry expanded while art and architecture flourished.
Food production soured because winters were milder and growing seasons were longer. There were less floods and droughts. Human death rates declined, partly because of the decrees in hunger and partly because people spent less time in damp, smoke-filled hovels that encourage the growth and spread of tuberculosis and other infectious diseases.
Thus, we can cast aside the forecast that global warming will bring more drought and expanding deserts. Modest warming would help crops, not hinder them. There is virtually no place on Earth too hot or humid to grow rice, cassava, sweet potatoes or plantains.
Another thing that most people don't seem to piece together is that THE EARTH GOES THROUGH CYCLES. Everything has a cycle, the rotation of the earth, its revolution, the moon, EVERYTHING. We have had ice ages in the past. We've had incredible heat in the past. 150,000 years ago the earth was extremely warm. (MUCH more than what Gore and others are predicting for the next 100 years.) There we saw the greatest boom in plant and animal life.
Climate modelers and the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) predict that one of the consequences of global warming will be rising sea levels due to thermal expansion of ocean water mass and the melting of non-polar glaciers. They claim that the oceans already have risen 18 cm during the 20th century with an annual rate of 1.8 mm per year. They feel that the oceans will rise approximately a further 50 cm during the 21st century, an accelerated annual rate of 5 mm per year.
Sea levels have been rising at varying rates since before the end of the last ice age 11,000 years ago. Long before any man made global warming is claimed to have begun. Sea level rise over short periods is EXTREMELY difficult to determine, but it is believed that the rate of sea level rise has not increased over the past century when man made global warming is claimed to have occurred. If it has, it's rise is not of major proportion.
So, CO2 is no big deal. Global warming may actually be a good thing. The earth is going through a climate cycle and we have nothing to do with it. There is no solid evidence of the sea levels changing drastically.
So what? It is apparent that global warming is a bunch of crap. But, what difference does that make to us? It will very soon if scared politicians have their way.
The rhetoric spewed out from the liberal media and through the global efforts or Gore and friends has caused unnecessary panic. Thus, we hear about "carbon footprints" and how websites will take donations to plant trees to off-set your damage to the environment.
What do the politicians have in store for us? It will cost us all. Barack Obama is planning on having industry reduce it's greenhouse emissions. Sounds great, right? This over-haul of industry will create greater price for product and eventually trickle down to the average consumer. (Read more about Obama's environmental stance here.)
Hillary is a little more vague on the issue, but her website does say: "Hillary recognizes that global climate change is one of the most pressing moral issues of our time. She supports policies to reduce carbon emissions and other pollution that contribute to global warming." (Read more here.) She has a video on there that I am unable to listen to because I don't have speakers, but I'm imaging that it is great.
New Jersey's state legislature on Friday mandated that New Jersey reduce greenhouse gases by 16 percent by 2020 and 80 percent by 2050. The governor of NJ was quoted as saying "We want to send a message to Washington. Wake up, get with the program and start doing something about greenhouse gases," Corzine told reporters at Giants Stadium on the eve of former Vice President Al Gore's international Live Earth concerts." This according to an article that was released today. Soon business will leave that state. We will see the economic effects of this choice very shortly as well. (Read the article here.)
The republicans are falling for this too. The Bush administration is expected to have some environmental bills passed before President George W. Bush leaves office in 2009.
This may soon escalate into an increase on taxes on energy to prevent us from using it so much. You will be paying MORE for gas and electricity. You will be essentially FINED because of all the fear that is being unnecessarily stirred up in Washington.
So, let your congressman (or congresswoman) know that Al Gore is full of crap and you don't want to have to put up with his BS any more. You do not wish any more legislation on greenhouse gases or global warming. While it is important to respect the earth, it is irresponsible to go as far as the environmentalists are taking this. The only exhaust and emissions to be concerned about come from their mouths.

Research done from the following articles: (These articles were also quoted, for more information on where and how much, please contact the author of this blog)

"Air Pollution Does Not Cause Global Warming" - by Jocelyn Tomkin
"The New American: Another Side To Global Warming" - by Dennis Behreandt
"The Effects Of Global Warming Will Be Beneficial" - by Dennis T. Avery
"Claims That Sea Levels Are Rising Are Unproven" - by John L. Daly



That was the article from two years ago. Am I 100% correct? I doubt it. No one should ever say they are 100% correct on a theory. If they do, then their credibility is in doubt. Am I closer to the truth than most people? Of course.
With this being said, I am open to comments on the topic. Let me know your thoughts and we will compare notes. This goes for whether you see things my way or the other way. Either way, we need to wake up and do something about the exploitation of the ignorance of the common American before it is too late.

30

In a little more than a month, I will be 30. It seems like it is such a milestone. I know that I'm supposed to be frightened of it, but I'm not. I hear that a great deal of soul-searching goes along with the date. I know that a guy from work turned 30 a few months ago and it was a very sad occasion. He said that he wasn't where he wanted to be in life. He was living paycheck to paycheck working at a job that he didn't like. He was qualified to do more in life, but wasn't doing it. He was single and living with a friend.
It sounds a lot like what I may be doing. I'm working a job (several) that I don't like in order to pay my bills and get by. I don't have a wife and kids, instead I have a friend who shares a two-bedroom apartment with me.
But, what if that is where I'm supposed to be right now? Who knows? What if what I'm supposed to do in the future hinders on where I am today? Who am I to say what God has in store for me?
I will not be down. I will rejoice that I have made it 30 years on this planet with only a few broken bones and with a great deal of remarkable friendships and great joy from my family and accomplishments. I have a college degree. I am doing things that I want to do in addition to things that I need to do. I feel I have a healthy balance on the two.
While I'm not living the most comfortable of lives, I am living one that I'm comfortable with.
For my 30th I almost arranged a trip up to Toronto for their "BeerFest" next month. When I factored in the cost of air fare, hotel and the daily passes, it would run about $1000. Plus, I would need to get my passport renewed. When I really thought about it, very few of my friends would be able to drop $1000 just to join me on my 30th.
So, I scrapped that idea.
Instead I'm thinking of a two pronged attack. One being to travel down to Effingham to visit my friends down there. While there going on the Official Effingham Bar Crawl with some of the "city folk" from up here that are willing to take the trek down. Also, we could check out the Effingham County Fair with it's country acts, rodeo and truck pulls. (I would REALLY dig doing that!)
Then do something up here like a suite at the White Sox and then drinks locally with those who couldn't make it out.
At least, that's the plan for now. Should anyone have any thoughts, let me know.

My Own TextsFromLastNight

One of my new obsessions is a site that I have discussed before known as http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/. If you haven't checked it out by now, I sincerely suggest you do so.
While you are there, you will notice that there is a way to submit your own on the right. I have attempted to do this with several of the texts that I have sent to or received from friends. Instead, they have gone unnoticed (except for one) from the screeners of the site. So, after coping with my rejection, I decided to post them here. No names have been used to protect the far-from-innocent.

A) I'm HUNGRY!
B) There's an ap for that

A) You are in Detroit in a Hawks Jersey as the Wings are about to lose? You're insane. You are going to be killed!
B) Redwings fans are p_ _sies so I'll be fine.
A) I just read that Detroit has guns now.
B) S_ _ T GUNS?!?!?!?! F_ _ kin Obama
(Time passes and the game ends)
A) PIT WINS! PIT WINS! Now is the time for you to RUN!
B) Noit yeyt
A) RUN! RUN! RUN!
B) Everyone is going home oh no dontr fo yerty thye party is judty started
A) You are going to die.
B) I just askrd this goirl if I could see her red wing.
A) And...?
B) still waiting!
A) Tell her you know The John Mc. and that he has even been to your house.
(Time passes)
A) Did it work?
B) She has a tongue ring!
A) Keep me updated.
(More time passes.)
A) Well?
B) Hammered and alone in hotel room

From my co-worker in the bathroom at the restaurant: A) Take 30's order, im puking lol
(30 is a reference to table 30 in the restaurant. My favorite part of that one is the "lol" at the end of it. He claims that it was genuine. This despite the fact that he didn't get out of the bathroom for roughly 2-3 hours after that text and I had to cover his entire section.)

A) iat fridays now drinking since 5 I'm such a lush.
(This was sent at 7:21 that day. She had been drinking since 2, not 5. She drank until 2 AM that night. She got kicked out of the restaurant that we all work at right after she struck up a conversation with our boss as if she had no idea who the boss was. It was a bad scene.)

For this next one, you need to know that was have $4 drink specials on Sundays as a part of a "Stimulus Package" at work. We make fun of them often.

A) FO DAHLAHZ!
B) Lol STIMULUS!
A) Stimulify dat echonamy, biznitch!
B) Lmfao. Thats our new motto
A) The video is now up online.
(That's the video you see above.)
B) From last night?
A) No. The one from your screen test during your interview at _______ (The name of the restaurant where we work)
B) Oh thank god. My screen test i cried and i think i peed a little lol
A) It happens to the best of us. Just not me.
B) Lol it will
A) Are you now able to tell the future like Paul Mooney?!
B) Negrodamus
A) I was going to let you say it because I can't. You know, being white and all.
B) I know.

A) _______ has found a girl who just told him that she has a stripper pole in her bedroom. He is making good progress, but could still use your prayers.
B) Done.
A) _______ appreciates your support.

A) How's the new job?
B) I hate it.no floor plan,you check out w an atm machine,its disgusting,no one will pick up a shift unless u pay them,we got a drag queen and another server stabbed a guy on the greenline.
A) Sounds lovely.

A) What was her dad doing on CBS Morning news with her? Did you see that?
B) I think her dad is border line retarded

A) You never know when Ghosts will be following you around. Constantly take pictures and look for those orbs.
B) Omg I f'ing hate u

A) Trivia tonight?
B) Fo Sho
A) Ok. We'll be there.
B) Thanks for the warning.
A) Maybe we won't be going, then!
B) Sounds like someone needs to switch out their tampon.
A) You're an ass.
B) Sounds like someone can't take a joke.
A) Not funny. jus wait till later haha
B) Because you can't think of anything to say now?
A) Haha ya

A) I?m in sioux city. CALL ME my phone will not be in service much longer.

A) Get out here. You are a lazy-ass bastard!
B) No just one hungover bastard. I fell in a bush last night and was blackout hammered at the wedding reception.
A) You went to a wedding reception after your adventure in Detroit?
B) Yeah open bar with my buddy Mr. Beam. In addition to letting every Wing fan that it was awesomethey lost. Oh and flirted with a few.
B) But told her I don't bang ugly girls.

A) Dude hammered thinking of old females...... then wanna break shit mode. Luckily no civilians around to die.

A) You commin' out to $1 drink night?
B) As tempting as that is I will have to decline. I've been neglecting the couch. By the way I might be high but I think the girls in front of me art talking 3 way

A) This is perfect fishing weather.
B) Big time
A) We should go sometime.
B) Right now?
A) No. Soon.
B) Soon.


There ya have it. Those are some of the more recent gems. I may have done the one about the dad on TV before, but I liked it so much I posted it again. Before you ask, I didn't go to Detroit and yes, the last one was a continuation (if you will) of one from two nights prior.
If you have some good ones, post them as comments on here.